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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 751659" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Dear New Leaf: I haven't had the space yet to respond to your first post but wanted to comment on this. I worked many years in maximum security prisons.<em> And I felt comfortable there.</em> I never ever felt this was bizarre. Until lately. That this was the environment in which I felt safe. I could settle myself inside the gates and walls. The chaos around and external to me was controlled by the cops. And with this I could rest.</p><p></p><p>I think the kids may be like me. They may not yet have the internalized sense of safety, the internalized structure to carry with them. Which they are NOW developing. Their fallback is the comfort zone of chaos. They are now depending upon you to give them the container, the structure of safety, so that little by little they can learn to be at home inside themselves with calm. And find that place themselves. When they no longer will seek or create chaos to feel safe, or depend on others to create or enforce control for them or over them.</p><p></p><p>I feel sad for myself that I have still yet to have this capacity. This is the gift you seek to allow these children.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 751659, member: 18958"] Dear New Leaf: I haven't had the space yet to respond to your first post but wanted to comment on this. I worked many years in maximum security prisons.[I] And I felt comfortable there.[/I] I never ever felt this was bizarre. Until lately. That this was the environment in which I felt safe. I could settle myself inside the gates and walls. The chaos around and external to me was controlled by the cops. And with this I could rest. I think the kids may be like me. They may not yet have the internalized sense of safety, the internalized structure to carry with them. Which they are NOW developing. Their fallback is the comfort zone of chaos. They are now depending upon you to give them the container, the structure of safety, so that little by little they can learn to be at home inside themselves with calm. And find that place themselves. When they no longer will seek or create chaos to feel safe, or depend on others to create or enforce control for them or over them. I feel sad for myself that I have still yet to have this capacity. This is the gift you seek to allow these children. [/QUOTE]
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