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updating on son
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<blockquote data-quote="rebelson" data-source="post: 691727" data-attributes="member: 19966"><p>The thing is, is that the 'reason' he gave, might not even 'be' the real reason. But, he's very, very smart and comes up with some <strong><em>real</em></strong> believable stories.</p><p></p><p>In the past, he's gotten fired for: being late repeatedly, showing up high/buzzed and/or having a snarky mouth with the staff over him. Maybe they fired him for asking for that day off each week? Maybe he quit and didn't want to tell me he quit? So he said he got fired? Who knows....</p><p></p><p>On a positive and different note. This week I talked to him on Wednesday and then this morning. On both phone calls combined, he must've told me he loved me at least 3 times. When I rang him this morning, he even answered the phone call with '<em>love you, mom</em>!' I didn't know what to say, that was so unexpected! In past years, he's told me he loves me 3 times in a whole year. On both phone calls he also told me to tell his stepdad (they are not on great terms-he's really hurt my husband) that he loves him and today he told me to tell his siblings he loves them. I feel like I am talking to a different person. </p><p></p><p>I asked him today about his anxiety. He told me <em>it's fine</em>. I said that he may have to go to his psychiatrist (whom he hasn't seen since last year) to get some medications if it's 'impeding' his life. He said '<em>no, a little anxiety is good, it keeps me stimulated, on point and helps me to keep pushing forward</em>.' He certainly has a different way of 'thinking'. Does that make sense to anybody?</p><p></p><p>I often have trouble 'understanding' his philosophical way of thinking and expressions, he says such deep and thought provoking things. I often get lost and then he gets frustrated with me. I am deep emotionally, but not philosophically. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite12" alt="o_O" title="Er... what? o_O" loading="lazy" data-shortname="o_O" /></p><p></p><p>He sounded quite upbeat today. I asked him about job hunting, what type of job will he look for? He wasn't sure but said he'd be hunting for another one. Though he said not another landscaping one. Which baffles me because the week he began this job, he texted me: '<em>all I need to make this the perfect job is a pair of bluetooth earbuds and a cooler</em>'. So, what happened?</p><p></p><p>I think it's going to be awhile for him to get to <em>know</em> himself, and I've told him that. Who he is, what he wants, etc. I also think he compares himself (personality wise) to his alcoholic father, who is very social, outgoing, charismatic. But not real smart. Son is really smart but not sure of who he is socially and I think he needs to stop comparing himself to his father. To me, and to others, son is also charismatic, funny, open-minded and likes to have fun (too much so). I just don't think he sees this, and/or he has social anxiety.....</p><p></p><p>I think in residential, the wonderful psychologist that he was assigned to, really hit him hard on becoming more humble. He IS more humble since he's been discharged from there. I've seen a great increase in his humility. Every time I had phone updates with this particular Dr., he'd tell me how my son needs to be more humble, think of others, not only of himself, needs to come out of his head and how he shows narcissistic <em>tendencies</em>. He also added that many, most addicts <em>are narcissistic</em>. And that that can change with sobriety. I guess that's where the recent 'I love you's' are coming in to play-from his newly found humility?</p><p></p><p>He told me also on Wednesday, <em>'I'm seeing that the older you get (</em>he's only 23!<em>) the faster life goes by'</em>. Ummm, yep!!! I seconded that! I told him 'wait until you're MY age!' Lol. And I reminded him that he's at a wonderful age right now and how he has wasted the past 8yrs+...and to make the rest sober ones.</p><p></p><p>He's only 23, almost 24 but does it sound like his thinking is along the lines of someone going through a 'mid-life' crisis? Curious to others' thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rebelson, post: 691727, member: 19966"] The thing is, is that the 'reason' he gave, might not even 'be' the real reason. But, he's very, very smart and comes up with some [B][I]real[/I][/B] believable stories. In the past, he's gotten fired for: being late repeatedly, showing up high/buzzed and/or having a snarky mouth with the staff over him. Maybe they fired him for asking for that day off each week? Maybe he quit and didn't want to tell me he quit? So he said he got fired? Who knows.... On a positive and different note. This week I talked to him on Wednesday and then this morning. On both phone calls combined, he must've told me he loved me at least 3 times. When I rang him this morning, he even answered the phone call with '[I]love you, mom[/I]!' I didn't know what to say, that was so unexpected! In past years, he's told me he loves me 3 times in a whole year. On both phone calls he also told me to tell his stepdad (they are not on great terms-he's really hurt my husband) that he loves him and today he told me to tell his siblings he loves them. I feel like I am talking to a different person. I asked him today about his anxiety. He told me [I]it's fine[/I]. I said that he may have to go to his psychiatrist (whom he hasn't seen since last year) to get some medications if it's 'impeding' his life. He said '[I]no, a little anxiety is good, it keeps me stimulated, on point and helps me to keep pushing forward[/I].' He certainly has a different way of 'thinking'. Does that make sense to anybody? I often have trouble 'understanding' his philosophical way of thinking and expressions, he says such deep and thought provoking things. I often get lost and then he gets frustrated with me. I am deep emotionally, but not philosophically. o_O He sounded quite upbeat today. I asked him about job hunting, what type of job will he look for? He wasn't sure but said he'd be hunting for another one. Though he said not another landscaping one. Which baffles me because the week he began this job, he texted me: '[I]all I need to make this the perfect job is a pair of bluetooth earbuds and a cooler[/I]'. So, what happened? I think it's going to be awhile for him to get to [I]know[/I] himself, and I've told him that. Who he is, what he wants, etc. I also think he compares himself (personality wise) to his alcoholic father, who is very social, outgoing, charismatic. But not real smart. Son is really smart but not sure of who he is socially and I think he needs to stop comparing himself to his father. To me, and to others, son is also charismatic, funny, open-minded and likes to have fun (too much so). I just don't think he sees this, and/or he has social anxiety..... I think in residential, the wonderful psychologist that he was assigned to, really hit him hard on becoming more humble. He IS more humble since he's been discharged from there. I've seen a great increase in his humility. Every time I had phone updates with this particular Dr., he'd tell me how my son needs to be more humble, think of others, not only of himself, needs to come out of his head and how he shows narcissistic [I]tendencies[/I]. He also added that many, most addicts [I]are narcissistic[/I]. And that that can change with sobriety. I guess that's where the recent 'I love you's' are coming in to play-from his newly found humility? He told me also on Wednesday, [I]'I'm seeing that the older you get ([/I]he's only 23![I]) the faster life goes by'[/I]. Ummm, yep!!! I seconded that! I told him 'wait until you're MY age!' Lol. And I reminded him that he's at a wonderful age right now and how he has wasted the past 8yrs+...and to make the rest sober ones. He's only 23, almost 24 but does it sound like his thinking is along the lines of someone going through a 'mid-life' crisis? Curious to others' thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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