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"Ur gonna be a grandma"
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<blockquote data-quote="Stress Bunny" data-source="post: 626304" data-attributes="member: 4855"><p><strong>Update</strong>: JT text messaged me again asking if I had received his earlier text from the day before (referring to the grandma text). I waited and only responded "yes". And then he sent me another of his one-word wonders, "And?" I almost think he's wanting some sort of adoration or something; as if this is just the greatest news. I didn't respond.</p><p></p><p>Recovering - Thank you so much. I have been keeping up on the acceptance post, which is very helpful. You are right that sociopaths lack empathy and do not change. I have read a great deal about psychopaths and sociopaths. I became interested when I suspected something wasn't right with JT, and I happened upon an article with the psychopath checklist, as used by mental health professionals. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It hit me so hard. I shared it with husband, and he agreed that there isn't even a question that the criteria describe JT. I know we're not mental health professionals, but as I mentioned, since that time, I have read books and articles and a lot of studies, etc. I am quite sure, in my heart and mind, that that is what we're dealing with in JT. He is not violent, thankfully, however, he is very manipulative and will use people to get what he wants. He doesn't care about them or respect them, though. The feelings of others are not on his radar. Interestingly, his second grade teacher told us that he seemed to lack any concern for the impact his behavior had on others; in a way that was unusual for what one would expect in a typical child. Anyway, none of this has changed over the years. </p><p></p><p>I don't think we have a Families Anonymous in our area, unfortunately. I am working on responding differently, and I am glad for the progress I have already made. The hardest part for me is accepting that things will probably never really change. I would like to have hope, but if I am objective, I can't honestly see it at this point. I want to step back more.</p><p></p><p>Echo - I am so very lucky to have found this forum. I don't know what I would do without it. It's difficult to realize that I have been struggling with these difficult child issues for so long. I can look back 18 years and see that it's been happening all this time. So much time.</p><p></p><p>COM - Your advice is extremely helpful. I have read it numerous times to really let it sink in. It is so smart and so direct.</p><p></p><p>tryagain - Definitely cutting back on contact and involvement. It is a process, however, it actually feels good at this point. I am at my limit with the drama and stress. I don't need it. It's not good for me, and yet it seems so foreign to think about me for once.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Cedar, there are so many gems posted here. I read them again and again. It really does help. This forum is so supportive, knowledgeable, and understanding. I am sorry we're here, but also glad we have one another.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Stress Bunny, post: 626304, member: 4855"] [B]Update[/B]: JT text messaged me again asking if I had received his earlier text from the day before (referring to the grandma text). I waited and only responded "yes". And then he sent me another of his one-word wonders, "And?" I almost think he's wanting some sort of adoration or something; as if this is just the greatest news. I didn't respond. Recovering - Thank you so much. I have been keeping up on the acceptance post, which is very helpful. You are right that sociopaths lack empathy and do not change. I have read a great deal about psychopaths and sociopaths. I became interested when I suspected something wasn't right with JT, and I happened upon an article with the psychopath checklist, as used by mental health professionals. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. It hit me so hard. I shared it with husband, and he agreed that there isn't even a question that the criteria describe JT. I know we're not mental health professionals, but as I mentioned, since that time, I have read books and articles and a lot of studies, etc. I am quite sure, in my heart and mind, that that is what we're dealing with in JT. He is not violent, thankfully, however, he is very manipulative and will use people to get what he wants. He doesn't care about them or respect them, though. The feelings of others are not on his radar. Interestingly, his second grade teacher told us that he seemed to lack any concern for the impact his behavior had on others; in a way that was unusual for what one would expect in a typical child. Anyway, none of this has changed over the years. I don't think we have a Families Anonymous in our area, unfortunately. I am working on responding differently, and I am glad for the progress I have already made. The hardest part for me is accepting that things will probably never really change. I would like to have hope, but if I am objective, I can't honestly see it at this point. I want to step back more. Echo - I am so very lucky to have found this forum. I don't know what I would do without it. It's difficult to realize that I have been struggling with these difficult child issues for so long. I can look back 18 years and see that it's been happening all this time. So much time. COM - Your advice is extremely helpful. I have read it numerous times to really let it sink in. It is so smart and so direct. tryagain - Definitely cutting back on contact and involvement. It is a process, however, it actually feels good at this point. I am at my limit with the drama and stress. I don't need it. It's not good for me, and yet it seems so foreign to think about me for once. Cedar, there are so many gems posted here. I read them again and again. It really does help. This forum is so supportive, knowledgeable, and understanding. I am sorry we're here, but also glad we have one another. [/QUOTE]
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