Vent-and-whine: Tired of floating the family boat

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by trinityroyal, Jun 2, 2010.

  1. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I don't want to sound like an ungrateful so-and-so. I know that so many people are living in much more difficult situations than I am. I'm just having a little Trinity pity-party

    I keep hearing that we're seeing the early signs of economic recovery on the horizon. Well, I darn well hope so because I'm tired of floating the financial boat for the entire Trinity clan.

    I had surgery last Wednesday. Major surgery that usually calls for a 6-week recovery period. I'm in pain, and I'm tired. I could really use the time off. But I'm a contract worker, so I don't have any work-related benefits at all. No paid vacation, no paid sick leave, no workplace insurance, nothing, nada. So if I take any time off there's no money coming in. So I can't take any time off.

    They operated on Wednesday morning. By Thursday morning, I was checking e-mail remotely from the hospital. I worked at home from bed on Friday, and was back in the office starting Monday morning. I even worked the entire weekend before my surgery so that I could log the hours lost to hospital time.

    husband has been mostly out of work since 2005, with only the occasional short contract. My "maternity leave" took place only because my boss let husband fill in for me until I went back to work. (Honestly, I feel incredibly lucky that we're in the same line of work AND that I have such an understanding boss. But that was a one-off. I've been reassigned to a different project, and senior management wouldn't let that fly twice.)

    I've got some killer deadlines to achieve. I really should be getting on with my work, but instead I'm here, venting.

    Okay, switching off whine-and-complain mode. Back to work, me. Thanks for listening.

    Last edited: Jun 2, 2010
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I'm so sorry. PLEASE be VERY VERY careful. My mom went back to work too soon after a hysterectomy and had a LOT of problems. It took her body over a year to fully recover because she would NOT take off time from work. While she had sick leave, disability, etc.... she was a professor and didn't fully "get" how it worked. So she arranged to cancel classes or have them covered for two weeks and went back full time. She worked from home as much as she could, grading, etc... but that was about it. I was living out of state and didn't fully know what she was doing.

    Within 5 years of that she was in full burnout and unable to work at all due to stress making other issues much worse. ALL of her colleagues tried to get her to take more time off, she just refused.

    PLEASE encourage your husband to take any job he can because you have GOT to have some rest. If nothing else, make him lists of household chores and kid stuff and insist he do it.

  3. Tiapet

    Tiapet Old Hand

    I'm sorry this is all hitting you so hard Trinity and that it really isn't fair with your situation. I wish there was something I could offer you in advise or some kind of resource to assist you. There are always so many things out there for just about anything you can imagine. I can just leave this cyber hug, you can take it or leave it. ;)
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I can so relate...being a substitute, if I don't work, I don't get paid. I'm also not eligible for unemployment because I have a job once school starts again. The check I'll get the end of June will be the last one until the end of October. Hubby does get unemployment, and will continue to collect until he finishes his training class, but COBRA for the three of us is as much as our house payment...

    Sending hugs. I floated the financial boat for more years than I care to remember.
  5. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Trinity! I'm sorry to laugh, but I LOVED the reason for your edit ("Lack of sensitivity in original post")!

    You are just toooooo nice! No wonder they all love you!

    Eat some chocolate and leave ALL THE HOME JOBS to everyone else!!!

    Feel better hon!

  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Trinity... who will float the boat if you're dead? Sorry to be blunt but what you're doing is downright dangerous and I'm worried for you. Does your doctor know you're back to work already?
  7. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the hugs and support everyone (and for knocking some sense into me TM!)

    husband has been pitching in a lot with house work, child care and all the other non-job jobs, but I think we both recognized that I was starting to take on way more than I'm capable of, way too soon.

    I still have to work, but I don't have to go into the office every day. Today I'm in bed, laptop on a bed table, phone and documents spread out around me. I've arranged conference calls for all of my meetings for the rest of the week, and will probably do the same thing next week.

    I guess I'm just frustrated that poor husband, for all his hard work, effort and talent cannot find a job and as a result we're entirely reliant on mine. If something serious happens to me then we're sunk. It's not a fun situation to be in.
  8. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Aw Trinity, sending gentle hugs. I'm glad that you're at least trying to stay in bed and work from home. If you can't take the time completely off, I mean, this is second best.

    I hope H finds something soon. Can he get a small part time something for the time being at least or is it better to have home helping with the kiddos, housework, etc?

    Be easy on yourself - nothing is as important as your health!