Woofens
New Member
I couldn't post this yesterday, I just couldn't. Yesterday AM difficult child refused to go to school (picture day) We have been noticing a pattern with rages and pictures. Got him into car unwillingly. When the bus came, he refused to get out. I asked the bus driver, if I can get him on the bus, will you take him? He said that if I could get him onto the bus, he would deal with him (This was probably a mistake, I just wanted difficult child at school) I had to take difficult child physically from car, and carry him across to the bus (I'm not supposed to do this due to back trouble). HE still refused to get on the bus, even with the driver talking to him, telling him to come on, (calmly) please get on the bus, you have to go to school. He was kicking, hitting me with his head, trying to trip me, it was ugly. The bus had to leave, he was holding up traffic, and was getting behind schedule. I asked bus driver to please document the "incident". I brought difficult child home, and called the crisis line I was instructed to call and got disconnected while they were transferring me, (glad I wasn't a true crisis LOL Sorta) I called my SO at work. He told me to call the school and ask what to do. The principal says "You have to bring him to school." Now please remember, they don't know hardly anything about this because he does not ever rage at school. They only knew that we were having behavioral issues at home and to please watch him closely at school. I explained a bit to her and said that I could not force him to come, because 1)I can't force him to do anything physically, the danger that I will get hurt is too great and 2) I could not get him into the car, let alone into the school building. He had refused to buckle his seat belt in his booster seat for the ride to the bus stop (0.03 miles) Of course I hear the "He NEVER acts like that here" conversation. I ask her what steps we can take next, as he has already missed 8.5 days of school (according to their records not mine) and anything over 12 days in a school year is referred to truancy (but that has already happened also, got the letter in the mail last night). She called the school resource officer, who in turn called me, then came to the house (please note I dealt with the same officer when my oldest difficult child was skipping HS, he was useless and ineffective then). The officer came to my house, talked to difficult child told him that he had to listen to me, that he could not hit kick or throw things at people, .... told him that he could end up in the juvenile system (kid jail, juvenile jail is how he explained it to difficult child) if he did not start listening to me.... difficult child seemed to listen. Officer and I went outside to talk in private (in the rain) and I was told by the officer that he can't transport difficult child to school if he refuses to get on the bus. WHAT???? Then he tells me that even though he told difficult child that he could be put into the juvenile system, that it was an empty threat as our area has NO facilities for kids as young as him. Then he LEFT!!!! before I had difficult child even in the car to go to school. Of course as soon as he left difficult child immediately reverted to "I don't want to go to school" and only the threat of being able to call the officer back got him into the car and to school. Once at school difficult child refused to leave the office and go join his class. He stayed calm, didn't rage but refused to leave the office. The principal sat him down and explained to him basically the same thing the officer did, that he had to listen to me or get placed in the juvenile system. He did eventually go to class.
The bus driver had already been to the school, and told the principal what had gone on at the bus stop told he that "It was like nothing he had seen before". Great. I have a 20 yr veteran bus driver, and my kid does something that he hasn't seen before. Sigh.... The principal told me that the bus driver was going to document the incident, and that I would get a copy.
The principal and I then talked about what I've been dealing with here at home, she listened to the recording of difficult child in a rage, and told me she would help in any way possible. I like this principal, I have known her for about 7 years, and really feel that she will try to help us.
I had to leave to go to my doctor appointment, but went back to the school afterward to talk with the school social worker which was a pretty much wasted 2 hours as she gave me a 1 page pamphlet entitled Discipline Tips, "It's the age" and when she gave it to me told me that she knew it wasn't going to be much help but here it was for what it was worth, since we had already tried the methods in the pamphlet.
We had a good evening, Moonwolf and her SO were with the kids from the time they got off the bus until I got home at 6:30 difficult child was acting out a bit, but stopped each time at the mention of the "talk" with the officer or the principal. He also told me he was sorry for acting the way he did that morning. He did have the beginning of one rage, that was stopped by the fact that he tripped on a pillow he had left in the middle of the floor and landed flat on his behind LOL His "owies" (he twisted his foot) were more important that the rage I guess. He took the ice pack and sat in the living room watching TV for the next half hour or so. (His foot was fine this AM, by the way)
He went to bed after SO came home. SO talked to him about his day, the problem with the bus that morning, the officer coming to talk to him, and read him a story. He fell asleep but got woke up because SO burnt dinner and set off the smoke detector (LOL). He was very grumpy when it happened but went back to sleep.
When I got up this AM to get the kids ready for school, he was on the couch asleep with his pillow and blanket. This is something happens a couple times a week, but is acceptable, as I had to break him from coming into my room to sleep with me every night. He did not want to get up, and was uncooperative. He got dressed for school, but immediately started taunting and yelling. I reminded him calmly that the officer and principal told him he needed to listen to me, and not yell at me. He told me that the officer was an "idiot" and that the principal was "stupid" and told me to shut up. OMG. I stayed calm and just took care of getting the girls ready to leave. He then started dragging the kitchen chairs out into the middle of the floor, blocking out route to the door. I asked him to please put the chairs back, and he told me no, and I'm not going to school, you can't make me. I called the resource officer to give him a heads up on the situation, and to let him know that I might not be able to get GJG on the bus, and that I might need his assistance. He told me that he had a meeting and if I couldn't get difficult child on the bus to just call the principal, and she would call him later on that afternoon. Now remember I got a truancy paper in the mail yesterday... I have to get him to school. Thanks so much for your "help" Officer.
easy child S needed to get into the kitchen to put on her shoes, and started to shove past difficult child. I reminded her that we don't touch anyone in any way without permission, and to say please excuse me to difficult child. She did and he moved out of the way enough for her to get through. I asked difficult child to put on his shoes, and he did. I then asked him to put on his coat, and he refused. I told him that it was chilly enough that his long sleeves weren't enough to keep him from being cold and that he had just gotten over being sick. He refused again. I again returned to getting the girls ready to leave and difficult child started to yell about he wanted a pop tart. I told him that he could have one as soon as he put on his coat. He told me that I couldn't keep him from eating, and that he was getting a pop tart. I took the pop tarts (still can't remember where I put them LOL) and said he could have one after he got his coat on. Then PCS went and got a baggie of dry cereal to eat in the car waiting for for the bus (this is something she does every morning, they eat breakfast at school but she needs something to tide her over until she gets there). He immediately started pouting that easy child had something to eat, and I had told him no. I reminded him that PCS had her coat and shoes on and was ready to leave (a requirement for getting her bag of cereal). He asked me if he went and got his coat if he could have some also. I told him that I would get it, because it was time to leave, and he needed to hurry. He got his coat, I got him his cereal, and we left for the bus. He started to refuse to get out of the car but I reminded him I had already talked to the officer (I did NOT let him know what the officer had said) and he got on the bus without incident.
Long winded, I'm sorry. Just needed to get it all out. I have another rant but will post it on the Special Education board. Later.. hopefully.. running on 2 hours of sleep, and have been on phone all AM due to other rant
Only 8 days til we see the psychiatrist. For good news, my GP prescribed Cymbalta yesterday for me... bad news, insurance denied it. We are probably going to pay for it out of pocket.
Hugs,
Jan
The bus driver had already been to the school, and told the principal what had gone on at the bus stop told he that "It was like nothing he had seen before". Great. I have a 20 yr veteran bus driver, and my kid does something that he hasn't seen before. Sigh.... The principal told me that the bus driver was going to document the incident, and that I would get a copy.
The principal and I then talked about what I've been dealing with here at home, she listened to the recording of difficult child in a rage, and told me she would help in any way possible. I like this principal, I have known her for about 7 years, and really feel that she will try to help us.
I had to leave to go to my doctor appointment, but went back to the school afterward to talk with the school social worker which was a pretty much wasted 2 hours as she gave me a 1 page pamphlet entitled Discipline Tips, "It's the age" and when she gave it to me told me that she knew it wasn't going to be much help but here it was for what it was worth, since we had already tried the methods in the pamphlet.
We had a good evening, Moonwolf and her SO were with the kids from the time they got off the bus until I got home at 6:30 difficult child was acting out a bit, but stopped each time at the mention of the "talk" with the officer or the principal. He also told me he was sorry for acting the way he did that morning. He did have the beginning of one rage, that was stopped by the fact that he tripped on a pillow he had left in the middle of the floor and landed flat on his behind LOL His "owies" (he twisted his foot) were more important that the rage I guess. He took the ice pack and sat in the living room watching TV for the next half hour or so. (His foot was fine this AM, by the way)
He went to bed after SO came home. SO talked to him about his day, the problem with the bus that morning, the officer coming to talk to him, and read him a story. He fell asleep but got woke up because SO burnt dinner and set off the smoke detector (LOL). He was very grumpy when it happened but went back to sleep.
When I got up this AM to get the kids ready for school, he was on the couch asleep with his pillow and blanket. This is something happens a couple times a week, but is acceptable, as I had to break him from coming into my room to sleep with me every night. He did not want to get up, and was uncooperative. He got dressed for school, but immediately started taunting and yelling. I reminded him calmly that the officer and principal told him he needed to listen to me, and not yell at me. He told me that the officer was an "idiot" and that the principal was "stupid" and told me to shut up. OMG. I stayed calm and just took care of getting the girls ready to leave. He then started dragging the kitchen chairs out into the middle of the floor, blocking out route to the door. I asked him to please put the chairs back, and he told me no, and I'm not going to school, you can't make me. I called the resource officer to give him a heads up on the situation, and to let him know that I might not be able to get GJG on the bus, and that I might need his assistance. He told me that he had a meeting and if I couldn't get difficult child on the bus to just call the principal, and she would call him later on that afternoon. Now remember I got a truancy paper in the mail yesterday... I have to get him to school. Thanks so much for your "help" Officer.
easy child S needed to get into the kitchen to put on her shoes, and started to shove past difficult child. I reminded her that we don't touch anyone in any way without permission, and to say please excuse me to difficult child. She did and he moved out of the way enough for her to get through. I asked difficult child to put on his shoes, and he did. I then asked him to put on his coat, and he refused. I told him that it was chilly enough that his long sleeves weren't enough to keep him from being cold and that he had just gotten over being sick. He refused again. I again returned to getting the girls ready to leave and difficult child started to yell about he wanted a pop tart. I told him that he could have one as soon as he put on his coat. He told me that I couldn't keep him from eating, and that he was getting a pop tart. I took the pop tarts (still can't remember where I put them LOL) and said he could have one after he got his coat on. Then PCS went and got a baggie of dry cereal to eat in the car waiting for for the bus (this is something she does every morning, they eat breakfast at school but she needs something to tide her over until she gets there). He immediately started pouting that easy child had something to eat, and I had told him no. I reminded him that PCS had her coat and shoes on and was ready to leave (a requirement for getting her bag of cereal). He asked me if he went and got his coat if he could have some also. I told him that I would get it, because it was time to leave, and he needed to hurry. He got his coat, I got him his cereal, and we left for the bus. He started to refuse to get out of the car but I reminded him I had already talked to the officer (I did NOT let him know what the officer had said) and he got on the bus without incident.
Long winded, I'm sorry. Just needed to get it all out. I have another rant but will post it on the Special Education board. Later.. hopefully.. running on 2 hours of sleep, and have been on phone all AM due to other rant
Only 8 days til we see the psychiatrist. For good news, my GP prescribed Cymbalta yesterday for me... bad news, insurance denied it. We are probably going to pay for it out of pocket.
Hugs,
Jan
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