vent...sick and tired of being sick and tired

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Oct 9, 2007.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    I have been so under the weather lately. I dont know if its the fibro kicking my butt, Im having a flare with the arthritis, Im sick or what the heck is going on but I cant manage to have any energy to do much of anything. I can get up from bed and within 30 mins I am done for. Today I had a doctors appointment with my family doctor who I adore...I finally got back in to see him after 2 long years and I told him all this and he put me back on my pain medications and muscle relaxers and told me to see if getting the pain under control helps. He only gave me 30 lorcet plus's...the 7.5/500's but he knows me well enough to know that I only take them when Im desperate anyway. I was only taking 30 a month when I last saw him and if this isnt enough this month we will have to increase...I can call him during the month if it isnt enough. If Im not in desperate pain one day I wont take a pill. I also have an appointment with the ortho doctor on thursday to get xrays of my knees and hips done...and probably shots in those lovely, tender areas. I just love needles filled with cortisone! Oh well, if it makes me feel better even for a short time I guess its worth it. I just know they are gonna tell me my joints are toast. My knees are now swelling every time I walk any distance and my hips are grinding. Im afraid I may need to ask about the better walker with the seat in it so I can sit down instead of falling down...or a wheel chair.

    It probably doesnt help that I have had to become chief taxi driver for the household since August when Billy decided to go back to school basically unannounced. He just informed me of his decision and at first told me that he had a ride to school with a friend. His classes start at 8 am every day and I dont do early mornings well at all since I have horrible insomnia. Now he has no ride so I have to get up to take him every day, go get him every day, and now he has a part time job which means I also have to take him back and forth to work!

    Add in Corys running to doctors, therapists, court doctors...ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And husband is of the opinion that since I am home and not working it is my JOB to do this! He doesnt seem to understand that I am home and not working because I was found to be DISABLED!!!! Im not home because I wanted a vacation! Oh and on top of all the running, I also have to do all the cooking, cleaning, and other assorted running of the household. Guess aint happening.

    I cant do it. Im falling apart fast. I think that is why Im in this flair. I think my body took as much as it could and now is in revolt. Its more, janet cant do this. She will be bedridden if people dont understand all this.

    Oh well...something has to give. My body may be what gives. If I end up in a chair maybe the family will figure out that they have damaged me.

    Its so tough to have both physical and mental problems. Sometimes I dont know if my fatigue...are the depression or the fibro.
  2. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Oh Janet ... you sound so overwhelmed. I don't know what to say to encourage you.

    Chronic pain is a vicious cycle. It makes you tired which in turn makes your pain worse. If pain medications help ... then take them.

    You live with a house full on grown men. There is no reason they can't help out with cooking and cleaning. INSIST that they help you. The way I see it you're running your two boys all over ... the least they can do is help you out at home.

    I'm sorry your feeling this way. Even warrior moms have to put down their shields and swords and take a rest sometimes. You, of all people, deserve it.

  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Wow, Janet. That's a lot to handle.

    by the way, thinking that the person who is home can handle everything is very typical. VERY.

    Your dr seems to have a one-track mind. There is more going on here and he's just giving you MORE pain medications? I know you said you adore him, but just from what I read, he's got to learn to think outside the box if he's going to help you.

    Why can't Billy drive himself? Did I miss something? Is he helping with-meals or laundry? (Oops, just read goldenguru's note and realized we said the same thing. :smile: )

    Also, I hate to tell you this, but cortisone shots are truly short term, and they also do long term damage ... they break down the cartilage. Don't get too many of them.

    Don't you think your pain medications are making you tired, too? I just got a scrip last wk for muscle relaxants and they're not as bad as some, but they give me a heavy, lethargic feeling that stays even after I finish my 2-mile walk. Usually a walk and cold shower will clear out the cobwebs. So I can only assume it's the medications.

    I'd call a family meeting.
    Better yet, make up a picket sign that says "ON STRIKE" and pad around the house in pink bunny slippers.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    doctor just gave me the pain medications today. I havent had any in almost two years except for the occasional 10 or so that the ER gave me when I went in there when I was in agony.

    This doctor knows me well. If I can get the pain under control I will be able to function somewhat better. The muscle relaxers he gave me are flexeril which arent as sedating as most. Problem is with all the other medications Im on...Im about as sedated as a person can be and still function! I think the lyrica probably put me down for the count really.

    Billy cant drive. He doesnt have a license because he has so much anxiety because of his aspie tendencies. If we had a driving school here like Fran had access to for her son maybe we could have licked that problem but we dont. Im not willing to put him behind the wheel of my brand new car to see if he can manage to figure out how to drive either. Cory cant drive for reasons that are obvious. He has lost his license for years to come. Maybe...just maybe...Billy could learn to drive if he had an old beater that was an automatic but we dont have one.

    I know the cortisone isnt a long term solution but Im already a candidate for replacement surgery but they cant do it because of my weight. My joints are already completely shot. I dont think they can do much more damage to them. You can feel what appears to be chunks of bone under my skin on my knees. Its nasty. I dont have round smooth kneecaps. They feel like mountain peaks.
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{Janet}}} I'm sorry, I have no solutions or suggestions, but just wanted to offer some support and hugs. I agree that with able bodied men in the house, your burdens should be lessened. But it's easier said than done, I know. Hugs~
  6. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    It's one thing to feel mentally drained... but when you add the physical part on as well. It becomes too much of a burden!!! I am so sorry Janet. I have a hard time just dealing with my head... I can't imagine if my body was turning on me also... when I get a migraine... ugh. Shoot me.

    Why is pain relief such a hassle and so hard to find!!! Screw the house and dinner... someones will figure it out!!!

    Hang in there
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    husband is trying to help...he really is.

    He finally got on board this weekend when he saw me basically go down for the count when the baby was here and I couldnt even enjoy her. He took over the kitchen and laid into the boys about helping out more but I think it fell on deaf ears. I came home from the doctor today and nothing had been done and Billy had been home all day long. Cory was gone somewhere so until I can lay eyes on him I cant yell at him.

    I did get rather sarcastic with Billy on why there was no dinner ready before I had to take him to work though. The dishes hadnt been done and the kitchen was a mess hence the fact no dinner was made. Hmmm...consequences bite dont they? He was home the whole time I was out doing my errands and he could have cleaned up like he was told over the weekend. husband tells me I need to tell him daily what to do but I find it annoying that I have to tell a 26 year old that if he sees dirty dishes and pots and pans that need to be washed that he should step up and WASH THEM!

    Whats he gonna do if he lives alone...wait on me to call him every day and ask him if his dishes are washed?
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    Sorry to hear that your family is less than helpful. Geez - I'd go on strike & stay there until things change.

    It's not like you wouldn't take care of things if you were feeling better. Maybe if you had a bit of help you'd have more energy, less pain & home life would even out.

    Men.....why is it that the majority of them need a to do list with clear, concise instructions on how to do the to do's? :crazy2:

    Hoping you're feeling better physically & a bit less blue soon. :flower:
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    I hear ya, hon, and I feel your pain. Know what I'd do? If they're going to act like children (in that sense), treat them like children. Create a chore list and post it on the fridge. OR do like you did and no dinner if the kitchen isn't cleaned.

  10. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    I'm glad your husband finally understands and is helping you around the house. I love the natural consequences of Billy not getting supper before work because the kitchen was so messy you couldn't make any. As far as Billy and Cory go, I would use natural consequences as much as possible.

    I know I haven't been around all that much lately, but if Billy refuses to help around the house, why not make him move out? I agree with you, I don't think you should have to tell a 26 yr old what needs to be done constantly. If he can't be helpful around the house, especially when he sees how sick you are, he needs to find his own place where he'll be forced to take care of himself.

    I hope that you are able to get relief from all the pain you're in. I don't think you should continue to do everything that you're doing for your family. You need to take care of you. I think they need to grow up!!! :grrr:

    I wish I had some better advice but I'm frazzled and can't really think straight any more today.

    I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and praying that you feel better soon. Sending cyber hugs, WFEN
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am so so sorry you are feeling this poorly. I do knowyour pain, the fibro, the arthritis, the family that won't do squat. My husband is better, but my youngest is still young enough to need major help to do much of anything.

    What happens if Cory and Billy move out? Do the boys have to stay there to meet court requirements, or for other reasons? It certainly sounds like you have way too much on your hands.

    If Billy decided to go to school, then can't Billy figure out how to get to and from school? He wasn't expecting to drive your car when he signed up, he clearly thought he had to make other arrangements. Maybe with his problems you could call the school to see how they intend to get him back and forth??

    Cory could take a taxi for his court appts, etc.. like a grown man, couldn't he? Or use a bus if htere is one??

    Time to pull a Nancy Reagan and "JUST SAY NO" to the boys. And have husband supervise them around the house. Just stay in bed for a few days, with the car keys and your purse, of course!

    So sorry aobut your joints. ARe you a candidate for gastric bypass or anything to help the weight? It means a big change, permanently in what and how you eat. It also changes how your body absorbs medicines, but maybe there is soemthing that will help?

    Sending yuou gentlest hugs,

  12. branbran

    branbran New Member

    I'm so sorry things are so rough right now. Sounds like you need a vacation!!! It really stinks for moms sometimes, we can't ever catch a break. We aren't allowed to be sick or tired!!! You know how it goes, a woman's work is never done.
    Try and get some rest, leave everyone to fend for themselves. I hope you feel better soon. :smile:
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    We live in the boonies.

    Cory is here ...well Im not sure why to be exact.

    Billy is here...well...Im not sure why either...lmao. No...honest, billy is so damned helpless he would not survive I dont think. He doesnt seem able to manage on his own. We dont have public transportation here and he cant seem to find a decent job anywhere. He is so socially inept it isnt funny. He kept calling everyone he talked to "Yes Miss" in this really weird sounding voice that was really grating on my nerves so finally the other day I told him...Look...the way you refer to people when you are speaking to them either in person or on the phone is Yes Ma'am or Yes Sir. No Miss stuff. It sounded like he was saying Swiss Miss. Very awkward sounding. I have no clue where he got that Miss :censored2:.

    And no there are no taxis around here. No buses either. We should be so lucky to move into the 21st century. Well actually if we lived in the city limits there is some form of transportation but I live out in the country so it does me no good. I have told billy he needs to go put in an application for housing so that when it comes up he can move in...but so far he hasnt even blinked at that suggestion.
  14. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Change the things that you can Janet. Like making those ol boys HELP with the cooking and the cleaning! I understand not being able to change certain aspects of life (like living in the country or kids that need rides) but darn it - they can give you a hand in return for all that you do for them on a daily basis.

    (Thats a pep talk) :thumbsup:
  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I hear ya, my friend.

    Can you possibly pick a day that's fairly quiet, and pick that day to just strike and take a break?

    I've done that twice since the quarter started and boy was it nice. Just hung around the house in jammies with the word No coming out of my mouth all day. lol But I needed the break.

    Here I am up this morning cuz I have to run Nichole out to the college in a few mins, then watch the baby for 1 1/2 hrs and pick her up again, then do it all again at 1pm.

    The rest of my week is no picnic, but I'm really beginning to hate Mondays and wednesdays. sigh

    doctor could run some blood work to make sure you're not dealing with anemia on top of everything else.

  16. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    Janet, my sister got one of those new walking seats and loves it. she takes it every where.
    I think everyone has said the stuff that you already know. better distribution of jobs, more compassion for the lady who is disabled, gradually getting those grown kids out on their own. hope it happens.
    take care of you when you can.
  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the sympathy...It doesnt help that my therapist is on vacation for two whole weeks cruising to Hawaii of all places!!!

    How dare she...lmao.
  18. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Janet, SO's doctor has an assistant that does scheduling for him. At one point a year or so ago when he was having really bad problems, they arranged for him to get the electric wheelchair, and actually got social services involved and he had a social worker and a visiting nurse that came and visited him every week. They offered to provide me respite care for a few hours a day since someone has to be with him all the time in case his throat shut down, and they also offered in home services.

    I didn't take it at the time as I could handle it, but am thinking about calling them again to get a wheelchair lift for the truck.

    Since you are on disability, do you not have the same thing offered where you live??

  19. lovemysons

    lovemysons Well-Known Member


    I hope you start feeling better soon.

  20. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Your body is telling you something and you need to listen. Do nothing that you're not able to do comfortably. Everyone in your home is a grown adult, and they should be taking care of themselves. We want to do too much at times, but at what cost? They can all make a p-b&j sandwich, who cares if there is a mess-just let it go... You'll do more when you can. Delegate, they can take over for a time. -Alyssa