Hi- I am sure no one remembers me as it has been years. I have a now 15yr old ds who is a difficult child. I used to post on the main parenting site and it was always helpful. Fortunately, with lots of help and maturity, knock on wood ,things have been going much, much better this past year for us with difficult child. I have hope we will all make it. Anyway, today I am posting on this board looking for a place to vent for me. Long story...when difficult child was born I stayed home a few months and then had to return to work since husband salary alone could not support us. difficult child went to daycare until he started fulltime kindergarten. When difficult child was 6, so 9 years ago, my 2nd ds (easy child) was born. When easy child was just a few months old, my mother in law died. She left her house to husband and I. We sold her house and decided I could quit work and stay home being we had a nice cushion of money in the bank. Not a ton since it was a small house but enought for a few years. We knew we would live off that money using it to supplement husband salary since his alone could not pay the bills. The plan was when the money got low, I would then have to return to work. It was a blessing to be home caring for my home and my family, especially thru some years when things were horrid at home and school with difficult child. My husband does all the banking for the family. I would often ask him the balance and he always said not to worry, we are fine. Well, yesterday, I had to go to the bank to take care of something and when they told me the balance in the account, I freaked out...only $100.00!! I called husband who admitted the money ran out almost 8 months ago but he didn't bother to tell me it was even getting low because he knew how happy I was being a stay at home mom and he was happy how things were too. He got a promotion a few months ago so now his income can just about pay our basic bills but nothing extra!! I am at a loss. I am beyond angry at him and myself for believing him that we stretched the money for 9 years ( each year we get about $10,000 back in tax return too so it helped stretch) I don't understand why he would let this happen and leave us with nothing in the bank!! His answer is only he wanted me to be happy and to be home with the boys. I know we are fortunate to be able to pay the basics and we certainly aren't going to be out in the street, but this was not the plan at all!! I am sick with stress and worry now with having to find a job and who will care for my younger ds when he is sick or there is no school. Who will drive kids to all after school activities, etc... all these changes that will have to occur to my boys when I have to get a job shortly. I feel like husband set us up for a downward spiral. Worse, how will difficult child handle all this?? Will he fall apart?? Change for him is awful. Of course I will do my best to find a job with hours when they are at school but that is a whole other issue. For 20 years I had a career in the medical field. In order to keep your license to practice, you had to take a certain amount of continuing ed. classes each year. They are very expensive so since we were always conserving money , I didn't take any so until I "catch up", I can not return to my former type of work. It will cost a small fortune and time to take all those classes now. So the best job I can get is probably min. wage at best as I have no other skills outside my career. I am sick, scared, angry, overwhelmed, feeing so stupid, and anything else you can think of. I just needed to vent. I really have no one to talk to. My sister would just lecture me on how I could have been so naive. She is a know it all! I also have so much hate for my husband right now for not being honest and putting our family in this situation. I told him that and the truth is that is how I feel. If he had just told me when the money was starting to get low, we would have had more time to plan things out. I feel like I am in panic mode now! THanks for listening.