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venting and looking for support(long)
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 642059" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>That's a lot to take in. I'm so sorry. I understand your feelings and how frightening it must be for you. That kind of information about money gets us right in the survival mode instantly, so it makes sense that you would be scared and panicked now.</p><p></p><p>My suggestion would be to try to step back from the ledge for a moment and access where you find yourself. I understand how angry and hurt and scared you are, and at the same time, I can understand how your husband made the choice he did trying to keep you happy at home. Even though that wasn't the plan, and I do get how angry you are, but it doesn't sound as if his intentions were bad, perhaps misplaced. He likely saw you being so happy and didn't know how to interrupt that. Unfortunately, you're both now in a situation that calls for action.</p><p></p><p>When you're able to calm down from the insult of this, putting your heads together for a plan is the next step. Again, I'm sorry you have to be in this place. However, now this is where you are. Perhaps you might find a temporary position, part time, while you make a plan to pay for and take those courses necessary for your career. It may take awhile. That may give your difficult child time to adjust to the new circumstances a little more slowly. You might be able to find something part time while the boys are in school. </p><p></p><p>I know how distressing this is. I've had similar things happen to me where your world as you know it is ripped out from under you. It's going to take a little time for you to adjust to the new circumstances and get used to the new "normal." Give yourself that time to adjust and have your feelings and be able to express yourself to your husband. He most likely feels like a real heel right now too. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there sjex, this is tough stuff to assimilate. It takes time to recover from a blow, especially a financial blow of this kind. Things are going to change,but it isn't necessarily all bad, you may enjoy getting back in to the job market.............eventually, after the shock wears off.</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry. Sending warm hugs..................keep us updated..............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 642059, member: 13542"] That's a lot to take in. I'm so sorry. I understand your feelings and how frightening it must be for you. That kind of information about money gets us right in the survival mode instantly, so it makes sense that you would be scared and panicked now. My suggestion would be to try to step back from the ledge for a moment and access where you find yourself. I understand how angry and hurt and scared you are, and at the same time, I can understand how your husband made the choice he did trying to keep you happy at home. Even though that wasn't the plan, and I do get how angry you are, but it doesn't sound as if his intentions were bad, perhaps misplaced. He likely saw you being so happy and didn't know how to interrupt that. Unfortunately, you're both now in a situation that calls for action. When you're able to calm down from the insult of this, putting your heads together for a plan is the next step. Again, I'm sorry you have to be in this place. However, now this is where you are. Perhaps you might find a temporary position, part time, while you make a plan to pay for and take those courses necessary for your career. It may take awhile. That may give your difficult child time to adjust to the new circumstances a little more slowly. You might be able to find something part time while the boys are in school. I know how distressing this is. I've had similar things happen to me where your world as you know it is ripped out from under you. It's going to take a little time for you to adjust to the new circumstances and get used to the new "normal." Give yourself that time to adjust and have your feelings and be able to express yourself to your husband. He most likely feels like a real heel right now too. Hang in there sjex, this is tough stuff to assimilate. It takes time to recover from a blow, especially a financial blow of this kind. Things are going to change,but it isn't necessarily all bad, you may enjoy getting back in to the job market.............eventually, after the shock wears off. I'm sorry. Sending warm hugs..................keep us updated.............. [/QUOTE]
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