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Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640122" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Lil, you are such a kind lady and I "get" your angst. You are grieving (like we all do) for the man who doesn't exist and isn't your son. I had to go through "the child I have" when he was very young, but hoped he'd change. He did get a little less crazy, but he is who he is. He will never be with us at holidays with happy siblings all being so glad to see him. In fact, he is content to be alone on the holidays, with his son, and not see anyone. I can tell you, I feel how you feel when I read your posts. This little toddler, so angelic looking, tiny for his age, graceful features, would stomp on other kid's hands and laugh or shove them into walls and laugh then tell me, "I did it on accident." That was his famous words, even if I saw or everyone else said, "DID NOT!" </p><p></p><p>I remember how he used to bite his lower lip when he was about to pound somebody.</p><p></p><p>Do I miss my son for the holidays? I miss my kind, caring son who always put others before himself and loves his family and would never hurt a fly, but that is not who he is. Or who he ever was. Or who he ever will be. So I think we grieve who they really are before we can accept it. </p><p></p><p>Hugs. You take good care of yourself. Say hi to Jabby.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640122, member: 1550"] Lil, you are such a kind lady and I "get" your angst. You are grieving (like we all do) for the man who doesn't exist and isn't your son. I had to go through "the child I have" when he was very young, but hoped he'd change. He did get a little less crazy, but he is who he is. He will never be with us at holidays with happy siblings all being so glad to see him. In fact, he is content to be alone on the holidays, with his son, and not see anyone. I can tell you, I feel how you feel when I read your posts. This little toddler, so angelic looking, tiny for his age, graceful features, would stomp on other kid's hands and laugh or shove them into walls and laugh then tell me, "I did it on accident." That was his famous words, even if I saw or everyone else said, "DID NOT!" I remember how he used to bite his lower lip when he was about to pound somebody. Do I miss my son for the holidays? I miss my kind, caring son who always put others before himself and loves his family and would never hurt a fly, but that is not who he is. Or who he ever was. Or who he ever will be. So I think we grieve who they really are before we can accept it. Hugs. You take good care of yourself. Say hi to Jabby. [/QUOTE]
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Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
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