Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 640177" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>Morning all. </p><p></p><p>I actually did send him a text saying I was sorry for what I said about the money, that it was true, but it was unkind, and my intent is not to hurt him. He'll probably not even see it or ignore it, but I feel better for having said it. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I agree this is what he needs. But listen? Not so much. Not to us. Like I said last night, I couldn't even get him to ask if they'll give him a sandwich to take with him. Truthfully, housing here is not that expensive. He could likely find a one-bedroom or efficiency apartment for $300 or so. Minimum wage is $1300 per month, gross. Add food, utilities, phone, student loan, all the other necessary expenses, could be really tight but doable. Will he work that hard? I don't know but I doubt it very much. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Single worst trait he has in my opinion. If he follows the rules he resents it because he is the ONLY one following the rules and everyone else breaks the rules and gets away with it but he's sure if HE did he'd get caught and punished. If he does something wrong, it's always someone elses fault. And of course there's the defeatist attitude. The "why do I bother because nothing ever goes right for me". He <em>has </em>to be perfect to keep from being in trouble he thinks...The sandwich thing last night was a perfect example. No one's allowed in the pantry and no food is allowed out of the cafeteria. But J-1 asked a monitor if he could go raid the pantry and was allowed to. He's just so bent out of shape, since he was starved and he got a chili dog that he hates. Did he <em>ask </em>if he could too? No! It's against the rules! But J-1 asked and they said yes, so he could ask too, right? NO! It's against the rules. Fine. So I suggest he calmly tell them, "If I go at 11:45 I'll miss lunch and dinner and not get back until late and I get hypoglycemic and I really need to be able to eat, can I have a sandwich?" He can't do that. It's against the rules. But why can't he ask? Because it's against the rules. "If you ask and they say no, you say okay, thanks, and go down the road. You won't get in trouble for asking." Him, "If I know they'll say no and they do say no then why bother?" Because they MIGHT say YES! The rules are theirs! They can bend them if they want to! Just like going in the pantry! </p><p></p><p>He's the saddest person I know most of the time. The most defeated. His life sucks. He has no friends. People like J-1 and they just tolerate him and would probably hate him if he stops being friends with J-1. These people are his friends, but by the same token, he can't stand them, they're criminals and alcoholics and idiots and useless and lazy and .... you get the idea. He's better than them. Still, he does everything right and nothing goes right for him. He makes plans and they get ruined. He breaks a rule he gets caught, but no one else does. The world is against him. </p><p></p><p>If I could change one thing about him, it would be to make him a more positive person. His woe-is -me attitude both angers me and breaks my heart.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 640177, member: 17309"] Morning all. I actually did send him a text saying I was sorry for what I said about the money, that it was true, but it was unkind, and my intent is not to hurt him. He'll probably not even see it or ignore it, but I feel better for having said it. I agree this is what he needs. But listen? Not so much. Not to us. Like I said last night, I couldn't even get him to ask if they'll give him a sandwich to take with him. Truthfully, housing here is not that expensive. He could likely find a one-bedroom or efficiency apartment for $300 or so. Minimum wage is $1300 per month, gross. Add food, utilities, phone, student loan, all the other necessary expenses, could be really tight but doable. Will he work that hard? I don't know but I doubt it very much. Single worst trait he has in my opinion. If he follows the rules he resents it because he is the ONLY one following the rules and everyone else breaks the rules and gets away with it but he's sure if HE did he'd get caught and punished. If he does something wrong, it's always someone elses fault. And of course there's the defeatist attitude. The "why do I bother because nothing ever goes right for me". He [I]has [/I]to be perfect to keep from being in trouble he thinks...The sandwich thing last night was a perfect example. No one's allowed in the pantry and no food is allowed out of the cafeteria. But J-1 asked a monitor if he could go raid the pantry and was allowed to. He's just so bent out of shape, since he was starved and he got a chili dog that he hates. Did he [I]ask [/I]if he could too? No! It's against the rules! But J-1 asked and they said yes, so he could ask too, right? NO! It's against the rules. Fine. So I suggest he calmly tell them, "If I go at 11:45 I'll miss lunch and dinner and not get back until late and I get hypoglycemic and I really need to be able to eat, can I have a sandwich?" He can't do that. It's against the rules. But why can't he ask? Because it's against the rules. "If you ask and they say no, you say okay, thanks, and go down the road. You won't get in trouble for asking." Him, "If I know they'll say no and they do say no then why bother?" Because they MIGHT say YES! The rules are theirs! They can bend them if they want to! Just like going in the pantry! He's the saddest person I know most of the time. The most defeated. His life sucks. He has no friends. People like J-1 and they just tolerate him and would probably hate him if he stops being friends with J-1. These people are his friends, but by the same token, he can't stand them, they're criminals and alcoholics and idiots and useless and lazy and .... you get the idea. He's better than them. Still, he does everything right and nothing goes right for him. He makes plans and they get ruined. He breaks a rule he gets caught, but no one else does. The world is against him. If I could change one thing about him, it would be to make him a more positive person. His woe-is -me attitude both angers me and breaks my heart. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Venting, updating, just very conflicted right now.
Top