hi
ok i'm totally venting here....LOL
i took the day off from work, needed to to look up stuff on web which i cnat do at office and also to calm my brain and look at things from a more logical stand point which would be nice for a change.
stupid schools, stupid teachers, stupid stupid all of them. ahhhh that felt good. if only i could say what i really wanted to. ever see that show years ago alley mcbeal where she'd act out in her mind what she truly wanted to say as opposed to handling herself like she wasn't mental?? lol
teacher sent me reeling yesterday after her you should admit her comment, thank god for all of you and bringing my sanity back. i booked hotel and am moving forward as i had originally planned. then yesterday on phone she kept pushing the academics. which i get from teh stand point of being a teacher but hey lady be happy she's in the door i'm a parent who is actively involved i care and quite honestly pull out hte stick in which has wedged itself in her ummm.....*****. a cereal box book report was due today. on monday's and wednesday he (boyfriend) has all 5 kids it's his days off. rin gets no hw done on these days he's afraid to push her so focuses on getting his kids hw done so i walke in at 7 and have to deal with it. ok no problem. so last nigiht i walk in he has dinner ready i eat with them then i have to run to kmart to buy plastic for her bed i wash her bed down before i go (it's covered in pee ugh) so i'Tourette's Syndrome dry when i get back. i listen to him groaning and complaining as he does dishes (leave them i'm thinking i dont' give a sh*t) ill do them when i return yet he continues to huff and puff quietly in his corner while he washes. what a pain in my ***** there goes that word again. then ofcourse little on is now becoming needy my difficult child (see i learned the abbreviation) thank you........lol....and i'm dealing with her, then i catch that his older one who is 12 and mine who is or will be 15 soon and him are engaging in a conversation regarding vegans. my daughter is very opinionated feels strongly about things yet hasn't learned yet how to state her opinion without being nasty. we are working on this, but hey i love her conviction and fire. beautiful thing just have to harnass it. he turns around which we all know i might be booting his butt after this is all said and done for various reasons.......dont get me wrong he did cook dinner went and picked up stuff to cook does watch my kids mond and wed yet the little freaky things he does and the way he handles himself is enough to make me want to scream!!! he turns around to my almost 15 year old daughter while by the way my difficult child is still sitting at table finishing a snack he gave her and says to my kid jokingly actually laughing like it was funny "do you get called ( i can't spell this out but i'm sure you guys will figure it out) d*ck alot by your friends?????????????? laughing mind you like this is funny it s' a joke. i see my daugthers' face who then kinda laughs and says well i get called b*tch alot adn then i turn around tryiing trying to be calm while difficult child islooking at me adn say did you just say what i think you did???? he says well yea listen to her how nasty she is to me. i said ok but your an adult adn there are like a million other things you could of said then my daughter pipes in older one and says it's ok mom we're havinga conversation, she then removes herself and goes up to room his older one just shakes head and laughs because she thinks it's funny when dad acts like he's ummm about 13 himself. i do not. i drop the subject as to not cause a complete uproar adn decide i will revisit at a later time when kids aren't around. i look at him and say wow youve gotta be kidding me and i thought calling her an idiot when she was taking sweet and lows that night at rest was bad and putting thme in her bag. i said difficult child is sitting here she's 8 does she really have to hear you speak that way. he then says i have a right to live my life how i chose, preceding to shove pots and pans he's drying into cabinets banging them cause he's ******!! oh well who cares is what i'm thinking. i drop it completely continue on with my night. i then proceed to reach over sink get the sponge to wipe off table to set her up with hw my little one and he says nasty what are you doing with the sponge i'm doing the dishes so ofocurse i'm goign to be nasty i say well i was thinnking maybe i'll put it in mybag and bring it to office tmrw.
we get thru the night igot to bed early, my little one wakes at 3 a.m. she's off medication's now so her sleep is only going to get worse. i take her into her room so as not to wake him.
today i revist the topic he apologizes and says i'm sorry for saying that. i said it's the third time the third time you have commented about her using words in which are insane. he said i was only joking she knew that he was laughing but i said hello she's 14 are you insane would you wnat me to speak to your kids that way??he says well she was so nasty to me i said well guess what you are the adult you say please do not speak to me that way give her a warning if she continues then i'll jump in and back you. you do not speak to my daughter using those wrods thinking it's a joke i will never back or agree with that type of language being used to either of them it's not funny. so round and round we go him saying let it go i said i was sorry she wans't upset at all she thought it was funny. i said yea she gets a kick out of you acting like your 14 with her, you could probably hang out with her friends except fact your a little taller and no one would know the difference.
so yup alot of good things about him, but yet with all i'm dealing with wow. you just cna't change someone and obviously this is how he functions. he's rough verbally with his own kids at times calling them jerk or idiot and thinks thats acceptable so ofcourse is going Occupational Therapist (OT) do same with mine.
he says well you don't know how my day goes i'm off i go to gym after doing paperwork for rest. then i go food shopping cook make dinner your difficult child isn't easy always needing something from me. i say well i re route her to sitters house i don't need you to watch her at all. he says well she enjoys it i handle her well, which he does i have to say he doen'st name call with her which is good i think i'd really flip if that were the case it's hard enough swallowing the stupid stuff he says to older one, then i'm cleaning up after dinner, etc. i said yup having kids is hard it requires work and effort at least you got to gym.
ok i'm done
its not enough for me that he gets my kids has problems and handles it or he food shops or cooks dinnner. i'd almost rather that stuff didn't happen and he'd be a calmer and more thoughtful parent and not use inappropriate words with my older one. i get very defensive and my stress goes up and my difficult child feels that i have to work at staying level she feeds off that without a doubt. she needs calm calm atmosphere so that's why i drop stuff best i can and revisit later in a controlled environment where kids are either not home we're out or their sleeping.
thanks for letting me ramble on just so frustrating
jen
ok i'm totally venting here....LOL
i took the day off from work, needed to to look up stuff on web which i cnat do at office and also to calm my brain and look at things from a more logical stand point which would be nice for a change.
stupid schools, stupid teachers, stupid stupid all of them. ahhhh that felt good. if only i could say what i really wanted to. ever see that show years ago alley mcbeal where she'd act out in her mind what she truly wanted to say as opposed to handling herself like she wasn't mental?? lol
teacher sent me reeling yesterday after her you should admit her comment, thank god for all of you and bringing my sanity back. i booked hotel and am moving forward as i had originally planned. then yesterday on phone she kept pushing the academics. which i get from teh stand point of being a teacher but hey lady be happy she's in the door i'm a parent who is actively involved i care and quite honestly pull out hte stick in which has wedged itself in her ummm.....*****. a cereal box book report was due today. on monday's and wednesday he (boyfriend) has all 5 kids it's his days off. rin gets no hw done on these days he's afraid to push her so focuses on getting his kids hw done so i walke in at 7 and have to deal with it. ok no problem. so last nigiht i walk in he has dinner ready i eat with them then i have to run to kmart to buy plastic for her bed i wash her bed down before i go (it's covered in pee ugh) so i'Tourette's Syndrome dry when i get back. i listen to him groaning and complaining as he does dishes (leave them i'm thinking i dont' give a sh*t) ill do them when i return yet he continues to huff and puff quietly in his corner while he washes. what a pain in my ***** there goes that word again. then ofcourse little on is now becoming needy my difficult child (see i learned the abbreviation) thank you........lol....and i'm dealing with her, then i catch that his older one who is 12 and mine who is or will be 15 soon and him are engaging in a conversation regarding vegans. my daughter is very opinionated feels strongly about things yet hasn't learned yet how to state her opinion without being nasty. we are working on this, but hey i love her conviction and fire. beautiful thing just have to harnass it. he turns around which we all know i might be booting his butt after this is all said and done for various reasons.......dont get me wrong he did cook dinner went and picked up stuff to cook does watch my kids mond and wed yet the little freaky things he does and the way he handles himself is enough to make me want to scream!!! he turns around to my almost 15 year old daughter while by the way my difficult child is still sitting at table finishing a snack he gave her and says to my kid jokingly actually laughing like it was funny "do you get called ( i can't spell this out but i'm sure you guys will figure it out) d*ck alot by your friends?????????????? laughing mind you like this is funny it s' a joke. i see my daugthers' face who then kinda laughs and says well i get called b*tch alot adn then i turn around tryiing trying to be calm while difficult child islooking at me adn say did you just say what i think you did???? he says well yea listen to her how nasty she is to me. i said ok but your an adult adn there are like a million other things you could of said then my daughter pipes in older one and says it's ok mom we're havinga conversation, she then removes herself and goes up to room his older one just shakes head and laughs because she thinks it's funny when dad acts like he's ummm about 13 himself. i do not. i drop the subject as to not cause a complete uproar adn decide i will revisit at a later time when kids aren't around. i look at him and say wow youve gotta be kidding me and i thought calling her an idiot when she was taking sweet and lows that night at rest was bad and putting thme in her bag. i said difficult child is sitting here she's 8 does she really have to hear you speak that way. he then says i have a right to live my life how i chose, preceding to shove pots and pans he's drying into cabinets banging them cause he's ******!! oh well who cares is what i'm thinking. i drop it completely continue on with my night. i then proceed to reach over sink get the sponge to wipe off table to set her up with hw my little one and he says nasty what are you doing with the sponge i'm doing the dishes so ofocurse i'm goign to be nasty i say well i was thinnking maybe i'll put it in mybag and bring it to office tmrw.
we get thru the night igot to bed early, my little one wakes at 3 a.m. she's off medication's now so her sleep is only going to get worse. i take her into her room so as not to wake him.
today i revist the topic he apologizes and says i'm sorry for saying that. i said it's the third time the third time you have commented about her using words in which are insane. he said i was only joking she knew that he was laughing but i said hello she's 14 are you insane would you wnat me to speak to your kids that way??he says well she was so nasty to me i said well guess what you are the adult you say please do not speak to me that way give her a warning if she continues then i'll jump in and back you. you do not speak to my daughter using those wrods thinking it's a joke i will never back or agree with that type of language being used to either of them it's not funny. so round and round we go him saying let it go i said i was sorry she wans't upset at all she thought it was funny. i said yea she gets a kick out of you acting like your 14 with her, you could probably hang out with her friends except fact your a little taller and no one would know the difference.
so yup alot of good things about him, but yet with all i'm dealing with wow. you just cna't change someone and obviously this is how he functions. he's rough verbally with his own kids at times calling them jerk or idiot and thinks thats acceptable so ofcourse is going Occupational Therapist (OT) do same with mine.
he says well you don't know how my day goes i'm off i go to gym after doing paperwork for rest. then i go food shopping cook make dinner your difficult child isn't easy always needing something from me. i say well i re route her to sitters house i don't need you to watch her at all. he says well she enjoys it i handle her well, which he does i have to say he doen'st name call with her which is good i think i'd really flip if that were the case it's hard enough swallowing the stupid stuff he says to older one, then i'm cleaning up after dinner, etc. i said yup having kids is hard it requires work and effort at least you got to gym.
ok i'm done
its not enough for me that he gets my kids has problems and handles it or he food shops or cooks dinnner. i'd almost rather that stuff didn't happen and he'd be a calmer and more thoughtful parent and not use inappropriate words with my older one. i get very defensive and my stress goes up and my difficult child feels that i have to work at staying level she feeds off that without a doubt. she needs calm calm atmosphere so that's why i drop stuff best i can and revisit later in a controlled environment where kids are either not home we're out or their sleeping.
thanks for letting me ramble on just so frustrating
jen