venting - when did people forget what is appropriate????

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mattsmom277, Jul 19, 2010.

  1. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    Part 1 - S/O's step father was laid to rest on Saturday. His sister and brother in law were also staying there. This is the opiate pain medication addict sister. Some things she did during the past 5-6 days:

    1- Everyone was sleeping. She snuck in my mother in law's room, took the key to the safe, snuck into the spare room where S/O was sleeping and took out safe from closet. Was caught cold putting something into waist band of her pants with safe wide open. She knew my mother in law had never once seen the contents of her husbands safe. So who knows what is missing?

    2- When mother in law woke, she found safe key missing, told S/O as she just sensed sister in law was involved. So S/O had to tell his mom what happened. While sister in law was showering and brother in law was out getting coffee, mother in law searched her bedroom for items that could be missing. Nearly $1K in cash was missing. It had been buried in a drawer in a brass money clip. Clip was there. Cash was gone.

    3- mother in law confronted her daughter. Her daughter denied denied denied. mother in law was enraged. She'd lost her husband literally the day before. Told sister in law that she BEtTER "come across" that cash in a easy to notice place by the end of the morning because if not, nobody was leaving the house until she'd searched everyones belongings. The cash turned up. No clue what might be gone from the safe

    4- sister in law then went off and caused a scene with S/O because he'd told their mother. Well of course, he was planning to wait until far after funeral etc. Except the key was missing and mother in law came to him in a panic and already saying she knew sister in law must have taken it. Anyhow, S/O had to tell her to eitehr show some darn respect for your mothers loss right now and the circumstances and control yourself, or take your husband and make the long drive home. But regardless, not the time or place for starting a sibling dispute.

    5- Will was discovered missing from the safe. Despite multiple times tearing house apart, will is completely gone. It is uncertain but suspected that sister in law wanted to read it and see what kind of money her mom would come into, but got caught in the safe. Now mother in law has key in her purse, with her at all times, so she couldn't get back into it in order to replace it. This means the older will from over 20 years ago, is valid, leaving all his worldly goods to his brother. Luckily the brother was witness to the new will and is signing over all assets to my mother in law as it was his brothers wishes. Yet this is a legal nightmare now in absence of the will.

    Vent 2:

    My niece lives with her mom (and my nephew). They moved to the other end of the country last year. Niece is on my facebook. She is just turned 12 in June. She is rapidly maturing and developing. She is also very much overwieght. Her mom took her to pierce her bellybutton at age 10! She's been wearing makeup since age 11. Full makeup, base, powder, blush, eyeshadow, eye liner, mascara, lipstick. She has been wearing revealing clothes since about age 9-10.

    On the newsfeed on my facebook page, I saw that she added a photo album. In a revealing and very skimpy white BIKINI! She has the same breast size as me. In a BIKINI. She also has a picture stretched provocatively on a suntanning chair. Wearing the bikini top with daisy duke shorts!!!

    There is also a screenshot from herself and her female friend using video chat (in bikinis) with 3 young men. I don't say boys. These kids looked much older than my difficult child who is 17. I'd say university age.

    The mother is on her daughters facebook list too. So this isnt' a secret she's keeping from her mother. this is condoned behaviour in her household.

    Vent 3:

    My brother knows I have ZERO contact with my mother. Gave her my new number TWICE. No point in paying to change it again. Then he called me while she was at his house and tried to foist the phone on her so I'd be forced to speak to her. Literally said "oh by the way, mom is here and she'd like to speak to you" and went to pass her the phone. I hung up. 2 days later I got a call from him saying how rude I was and hateful and that I didn't need to just hang up on her, could have heard her out. I reminded him I'd "heard her out" for 35 years and that I had made it clear I was done "hearing her out" as its a broken pathetic record and Im done done done with her. DOH!!! Had to do the nasty refresher to him. No I wont' call her. No don't convince her to call me. No I don't want gifts past through you from her. No I don't want to hear the good, bad, ugly of her world. No I don't want to hear ANYTHING about her. Yes I respect your relationship with her. Now YOU respect my LACK of one. I wanted to scream.

    I cannot believe how many different ways people have forgotten what is appropriate and what isn't these days.

    I keep liking people less and less. I dont know how much more of a hermit I can turn into short of never going household shopping or bill paying. And yet still, I get good doses of remembering WHY I don't socialize much.

  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    WOW! Sounds like our dad's bro is a really good guy. your sister in law is a witch. With and without the B. In the near future I would push the entire family to not allow her in their homes, on their property or at family gatherings. Do NOT allow her into your home, vehicle, property or presence!! She needs to be ARRESTED, but her husband is so far into her sickness that he would probably bail her out. What would happen if you knew she was driving while stoned and called the cops? Here they will go and look for the person, and if they have drugs on them they are arrested immediately. Not sure how Canada works it. I cannot believe she was so awful right after the funeral! Drugs really have taken her over, haven't they?

    I feel sorry for your niece. Here it would be an issue CPS would get involved in, esp if the chat was in any way sexual. One of Jessie's friends and her sibs went to foster care because the mom was encouraging the girl to dress even worse than your niece and setting up "dates" for her with older boys that were sons of the mom's friends. The mom was clear that she wanted the daughter to have sex with them, that it was all arranged that way. It was really sad and scary for the girl. The mom STILL insists that she did nothing wrong. The girl was 13 at the time, and her doctor testified that the mom had insisted on the pill being prescribed for the girl, in spite of health issues that make it a very dangerous thing. the doctor refused and when she heard about the other stuff she notified CPS. Luckily this girl was part of the circle of girls Jess has known since first grade, on the edges of the group but still part of it. The girls all rallied around her and made her feel like she belonged and like it was not her fault - without anyone telling them to!! Most unusual for girls that age, but they are a really great group of girls.

    Appropriate behavior seems to not matter any more. People do things like this and seem to feel absolutely no shame!! My mind boggles, it really does.
  3. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    What a piece of work. I'm glad to hear that your mother in law stood her ground. I was hoping to hear that she had searched the bags in any case. I would have volunteered mine and encouraged everyone there to do the same.

    Sorry to hear about your brother/mom. I know how difficult it is to make that decision about family, and it only makes it worse when others try to "fix" things. I literally got hysterical when L pulled this nonsense. I dread the day either of my parents die, not because I will miss them, but because I will be expected to grieve people I lost over a decade ago.