Venting!!!

[ChefPaula1965]

Many of you know about my mother, who has continued to try to prove H and I as incompetant parents.. and who has continually rescued Andre..... Sued us for custody and child support 3 times.... given us about Andre all his life.........
Guess what........... she is at it again... This time she can't do anything to me!!!!!!!!!! Andre called last night from Ft. Knox.. he is being released on Friday........ and my mother has bought him an airplane ticket "HOME" --> her place that is....... Andre knows he is persona non grata at our home.............
not only did she buy his ticket, but she will be "giving him a place to live" .... she felt sorry for him while he was on the run for the Army and unlocked her covered and screened in back porch and put a cot in there for him....
Remember her husband calling Andre's seargent and telling him that he and my mother have custody of Andre and not to give me any info or talk to me.......... Well now we know why????????? STUPID anti war Canadian harboring a fugitive.....................
Since he is no longer a fugitive Andre now has a place to live again................
Grandma to the rescue.................... NOT TEACHING Andre ANY responsibility...
because, you see............. according to her...........
all his problems are NOT his fault.. they are mine and H and Andre needs to be in a caring loving environment so he can grow..............
did I already say

Deep breath Paula, detach, detach, detach.... deep breath .... detach detach detach..........

 

[WhymeMom?]

Well, hope that loving environment lasts when his true colors are revealed....... It always amazes me how these kids can land on their feet and find people to take them in ....... If he is 18 looks like he's on his own with gramma......

 

[everywoman]

Sorry.
Repeat after me: He is not my problem. She is not my problem. I can't control what they do.
Now: Breath, exhale, breath exhale


Honestly, I so understand. My biomom---who relinqushed custody of me when I was 10, took my difficult child when husband and I put him out. She was all high and mighty and "knew" what he needed. It last 3 months.

When he insisted on moving 60 miles away and attending school, husband and I told him we would not support him. He lived off student loans for two months. Then called us. We told him no. He called her. She called me, gave me a check of $1000.00 and told me to give him what he needed, when he needed. So, I did. That money lasted 3 weeks. Then he came home.

She has not asked about him since.

 

[DazedandConfused]

Well, the good news is that he is 18, and frankly, none of this is YOUR problem. I am also invisibly slipping a "whatever" mickey in the glass you drinking from. Let Andre be their problem.

I know he's your child and you love him and want him to have a productive life. You're his Mom. But, if your Mom wants to be his rescue party, let her. It 's very convenient that she has you to blame for all of his woes.

Focus on your other kids.

((hugs))

 

[Star*]

I would change my number.

You'll be in ALABAMA and he'll be in CANADA - right?

Seriously - you've done such a great job to detach - why not just change your number and be done with it.

I'm wheeling in the ARGH chair for you to relax from your enabling Mom. Comes with a pedicure -and a small glass of home made wine.

 

[Star*]

Oh.....not to change the subject -

But what is a TIRED MOM and WIF? I get tired Mom -what is a WIF?

(under your avatar) lol.........

 

[trinityroyal]

I would change my number.

You'll be in ALABAMA and he'll be in CANADA - right?

Seriously - you've done such a great job to detach - why not just change your number and be done with it.

I'm wheeling in the ARGH chair for you to relax from your enabling Mom. Comes with a pedicure -and a small glass of home made wine.

What Star said!

Honestly. May I contribute to the ARGH chair, a relaxing manicure and shoulder/arm massage. Given by Raoul.

Deep breaths. Detach.

 

[ChefPaula1965]

you all are the BEST ever...........
what is funny is that my mother put him out about this time last year and swore never to do anything for him any more.. even gave him a ticket to Alabama (she is in Florida) so he could fly "back home".... (of course he was welcom to come visit but I would not keep him in my house)... And my mother's husband threatened to leave her if she ever took Andre in..............
The is the same who found me to hard to raise and called ME her problem child.. because I was hiper and had health issues.... she ignored me all my life and allowed my younger sister to harass me while turning away... this is the who has 5 kids .. ALL of which have had mental/nervous break downs.........
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH can I tell you how muc I dislike her!!
What a .............
Ok.
now, I will take that home made wine.. non alcoholic though... my sobriety anniversary is coming up in about 2 weeks (14 years this time) .... and the arch chair..........
By the way... there was not enough space to write
Tired Mom and Wife ...... that is so funny that you would ask...

 

[KTMom91]

How about double chocolate brownies since you don't do the wine thing? I fear this same sort of thing happening with my mother and Miss KT. You guys are setting me good examples, and I'm already working on my deep breathing, and my mantra of "she is not my problem...I can't control what they do..." Sigh.

Sending hugs to go with the pedicure and the brownies.

 

[Hound dog]

Good grief! I'd let out a string of curse words but Aubrey is nearby.

I would treat myself to something wonderful, you deserve it after all that worry he put you thru, and do my utter best to detach. I think Star had the right idea.

(((hugs)))

 

[Suz]

Paula, thank you so much for all of the .

It would have taken me all day to edit your posts if you'd said what you really wanted to say.

It's moments like these that I think the person who invented "Caller ID" should be nominated for sainthood. If you don't have it, get it. If you do have it, use it and DON'T ANSWER THE PHONE.

Hugs,
Suz

 

[Andy]

I take it you are not going to say to Andre "O.K. Behave at Grandma's." More like, "Make yourself at home at Grandma's."


Hey Grandma,



Where is the kitchen?


Where is my own money?


Where is my bed?


Get a job?


Love you much Grandma! You are the bestest Grandma in the whole world.

 

[ChefPaula1965]

Suz, you are most welcome for all the ... You are right, you would have been editing for a LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOONG time!!!
All this has been going on since Andre was very young....
Adrienne, You myst know Andre!!!! he did this to us for years......... Has done it to his Grandma, who HAS seen his true colors yet insist on more of the SSDD !!
Good for her...... perhaps Andre will finaly burn that bridge (as he has done to so many others) and this time burn it down to the point that it is impossible to mend.............
Wait, that is a "pie in the sky" pipe dream.....
his grandma will continue the :check_writer: and the for lack of sleep when he stays out for days...
now repeat after me :
"She is not my problem.... Andre is no longer my problem.... let them destroy each other if they want"
ME the warrior mom is checking in here and checking out of my mother's life...............

Have a wonderful day..........
and let's keep cheering each other on!!

 

[Shari]

Hey Paula.

See the boat party thread.

And when mom calls complaining, take a deep breath, smile and say "I hear ya, mom. Gotta run, the timer's dinging. Call again when you have some news to share."