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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753957" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>In Al Anon, and you know this, we are told about an addict's personality. It matters not if they are currently using. The personality traits are there.</p><p></p><p>Some addictive personalities are smart enough not to use, so they remain clean, but they still suffer the personality traits of an addict and need help. I think a lot of our kids have addictive personality traits. They include being self centered, needing to be right, being manipulative and they can have trouble getting their acts together.</p><p></p><p>I did not realize how much Kay was manipulating me until my sponsor pointed it out. Even a text that passive aggressively made us feel bad was for her to get a response/control over us. Kay feels good knowing she can control our feelings and get us to react. It is a win to her.</p><p></p><p>We learned not to read or answer her texts. That just enables her, She wants that and it doesn't serve her or us when we accommodate her manipulations. Letting them manipulate us even by showing them how they anger or hurt us makes them feel powerful. Okay, it took us a decade to stop but we have. Finally. </p><p></p><p>Too much pot is an addiction so the addictive personality is in effect. My husband and I see a therapist who also works with drug abusers and between Al Anon and this very knowledgeable therapist, we learned that pot can also be addictive. My therapist sees pot addicts! </p><p></p><p>I don't know if your daughter has an addictive personality. I don't know if she uses either. She does not sound "right" to me and I have no credentials other than raising one addict and two normal kids and seeing the vast difference in my kids. I just threw some ideas out there that may or may not resonate.</p><p></p><p>Take what you need and leave the rest!! </p><p></p><p>Suggestion: Make this holiday about YOU. Relax, cook what you like, watch TV, know that we are with you in spirit</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753957, member: 23706"] In Al Anon, and you know this, we are told about an addict's personality. It matters not if they are currently using. The personality traits are there. Some addictive personalities are smart enough not to use, so they remain clean, but they still suffer the personality traits of an addict and need help. I think a lot of our kids have addictive personality traits. They include being self centered, needing to be right, being manipulative and they can have trouble getting their acts together. I did not realize how much Kay was manipulating me until my sponsor pointed it out. Even a text that passive aggressively made us feel bad was for her to get a response/control over us. Kay feels good knowing she can control our feelings and get us to react. It is a win to her. We learned not to read or answer her texts. That just enables her, She wants that and it doesn't serve her or us when we accommodate her manipulations. Letting them manipulate us even by showing them how they anger or hurt us makes them feel powerful. Okay, it took us a decade to stop but we have. Finally. Too much pot is an addiction so the addictive personality is in effect. My husband and I see a therapist who also works with drug abusers and between Al Anon and this very knowledgeable therapist, we learned that pot can also be addictive. My therapist sees pot addicts! I don't know if your daughter has an addictive personality. I don't know if she uses either. She does not sound "right" to me and I have no credentials other than raising one addict and two normal kids and seeing the vast difference in my kids. I just threw some ideas out there that may or may not resonate. Take what you need and leave the rest!! Suggestion: Make this holiday about YOU. Relax, cook what you like, watch TV, know that we are with you in spirit [/QUOTE]
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