Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Very Depressed
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 630852" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>You are not the problem here. If your daughter keeps bringing home boyfriends, she is putting your poor baby at risk for sexual abuse. I assume these are not the best and the brightest of young men. Also, she can develop attachment disorder from being tossed around at so many men. Where is the father in all this? Can he help? Your daughter is ruining your granddaughter's life, no matter how many advantages you give her. You don't bring strange men into your home...it's a big RISK.</p><p></p><p>I think that, if I were you, I'd move on. There is nothing you can do to change your daughter, thus help your granddaughter. Your daughter would have to relinquish custody to you. I mean, you can try for custody, but there are very poor grandparent rights. Therefore, the life your daughter gives your granddaughter is the life she will live. There is something some of us use which sounds harsh but I feel it actually makes us feel better because it takes the burden off of us and reminds us of what is and is not possible. We call it "radical acceptance." You can look it up online too. What it means is, life is what it is. In your case, your daughter is very unstable and not very nice and a terrible mother, but she has custody of her child and there is nothing you can probably do to change that. And you need to accept this reality. There is nothing to be done on your end, short of getting an attorney and seeing if you could possibly get custody, however the bar for removing a child from his parent is very high. Having ten boyfriends in ten weeks does not count as abusive or neglectful. Leaving your granddaughter alone, beating her, or getting caught with illegal drugs (and this last one is iffy) could gt her to lose custody. Just being a really crappy mother isn't enough.</p><p></p><p>So it is what it is.</p><p></p><p>You could probably use therapy to learn to accept how little you can control this situation, if at all. If your daughter is on drugs, Nar-Anon is great too. You need support. YOU need support. Since you can't do much if anything for this situation you may want to work on the one thing you have 100% control over...yourself and your reaction to the feelings of being out of control and the helplessness. You can also start doing things that you enjoy, in spite of the situation with your daughter and your grandchild. It is best to deal with what you have control over rather than angst over what you don't. For your own physical and mental health, I truly hope you go for psychiatric help of some kind and learn how to cope with a bad situation. You're not the only grandmother here who knows that her grandchild is in unsafe hands so you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>Contact us anytime. We are on call 24/7, 365 days a year and somebody will always get back to you. Hugs for your hurting heart again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 630852, member: 1550"] You are not the problem here. If your daughter keeps bringing home boyfriends, she is putting your poor baby at risk for sexual abuse. I assume these are not the best and the brightest of young men. Also, she can develop attachment disorder from being tossed around at so many men. Where is the father in all this? Can he help? Your daughter is ruining your granddaughter's life, no matter how many advantages you give her. You don't bring strange men into your home...it's a big RISK. I think that, if I were you, I'd move on. There is nothing you can do to change your daughter, thus help your granddaughter. Your daughter would have to relinquish custody to you. I mean, you can try for custody, but there are very poor grandparent rights. Therefore, the life your daughter gives your granddaughter is the life she will live. There is something some of us use which sounds harsh but I feel it actually makes us feel better because it takes the burden off of us and reminds us of what is and is not possible. We call it "radical acceptance." You can look it up online too. What it means is, life is what it is. In your case, your daughter is very unstable and not very nice and a terrible mother, but she has custody of her child and there is nothing you can probably do to change that. And you need to accept this reality. There is nothing to be done on your end, short of getting an attorney and seeing if you could possibly get custody, however the bar for removing a child from his parent is very high. Having ten boyfriends in ten weeks does not count as abusive or neglectful. Leaving your granddaughter alone, beating her, or getting caught with illegal drugs (and this last one is iffy) could gt her to lose custody. Just being a really crappy mother isn't enough. So it is what it is. You could probably use therapy to learn to accept how little you can control this situation, if at all. If your daughter is on drugs, Nar-Anon is great too. You need support. YOU need support. Since you can't do much if anything for this situation you may want to work on the one thing you have 100% control over...yourself and your reaction to the feelings of being out of control and the helplessness. You can also start doing things that you enjoy, in spite of the situation with your daughter and your grandchild. It is best to deal with what you have control over rather than angst over what you don't. For your own physical and mental health, I truly hope you go for psychiatric help of some kind and learn how to cope with a bad situation. You're not the only grandmother here who knows that her grandchild is in unsafe hands so you are not alone. Contact us anytime. We are on call 24/7, 365 days a year and somebody will always get back to you. Hugs for your hurting heart again. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Very Depressed
Top