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Parent Emeritus
VERY disheartening...
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 642122" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>baymama, I am so sorry for your loss. </p><p></p><p>I agree with everything MWM said. There are success stories here for the parents. In some cases, our kids have not changed. But for quite a few of us, we have emerged out of the dark place our kids dragged us into and found our own joy and our own peace. </p><p></p><p>I would invite you to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. And to find support for yourself, to find a place you can go to express your feelings and receive guidance on how to proceed with your son. Many here find solace in 12 step groups like Al Anon, Families Anonymous or Narc Anon. Most of the time, <u><strong><em>we</em></strong></u> have to change how we respond, we have to set strict unbreakable boundaries, we have to stop the money flow and all the help and insist on them taking action for themselves. If they refuse to do anything to help themselves, then for many of us, that opens the door for us to evict them. </p><p></p><p>It's a process, we usually need help to make the changes necessary. I'm sorry you're struggling. Keep posting. it helps. Focus on YOUR needs. Take care of YOU. It's time for your son to grow up.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 642122, member: 13542"] baymama, I am so sorry for your loss. I agree with everything MWM said. There are success stories here for the parents. In some cases, our kids have not changed. But for quite a few of us, we have emerged out of the dark place our kids dragged us into and found our own joy and our own peace. I would invite you to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here. And to find support for yourself, to find a place you can go to express your feelings and receive guidance on how to proceed with your son. Many here find solace in 12 step groups like Al Anon, Families Anonymous or Narc Anon. Most of the time, [U][B][I]we[/I][/B][/U] have to change how we respond, we have to set strict unbreakable boundaries, we have to stop the money flow and all the help and insist on them taking action for themselves. If they refuse to do anything to help themselves, then for many of us, that opens the door for us to evict them. It's a process, we usually need help to make the changes necessary. I'm sorry you're struggling. Keep posting. it helps. Focus on YOUR needs. Take care of YOU. It's time for your son to grow up. [/QUOTE]
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VERY disheartening...
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