Very sad for difficult child 1

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by nvts, Jun 25, 2009.

  1. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    difficult child 1 has had a tough time of it over the years. He's been to 4 different schools from K-5 and is now trying to get placed for Intermediate school.

    It has been repeatedly established that almost every meltdown or outburst has been in response to fear of physical harm. Now they want to put him in another school in which the population is ALL behavioral.

    This kid got up the morning of the tour, showered, dress pants and shirt (with a clip on tie) and then took a second bath in cologne (he did this right before we're getting ready to walk out the front door. I had to take him out in the backyard to spray him down with Febreeze! (It worked by the way).

    It's a program in the Special Education district but located in a general ed Int. School. We walked in the door, the bell rang and kids started pouring out into the hallway to switch glasses. He grabbed my hand and tried to squeeze into my skin and said "I changed my mind, I don't want to do this!" I got him calm (very quickly I might add) and we went to wait in the main office.

    The Dean of Students showed up and took us down to the program.

    difficult child 1 raised his hand during the q&a and asked if they have trouble with kids hitting or bullying and what came out of this guys mouth screamed "trouble" to me. "Of course - they're here because they have behavior problems - some are emotionally disturbed - just like you right?" And he kept hammering him with "just like you" over and at every opportunity they had.

    I refused the placement, but now I don't know where he's going to end up in Sept.

    This whole thing just hoovers - it really does. I'm so sick of tilting at windmills and just unhinging the next one!

    Thanks for allowing me to vent...

  2. Jeppy

    Jeppy New Member

    I'm sorry to hear that.

    Are private schools in your area an option with the new Supreme Court decision?
  3. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Beth, our county SD has programs specifically for kids with AS. Does your SD have something like that? If not, is there a private placement for AS students that you could push for?
  4. graceupongrace

    graceupongrace New Member


    I'm so sorry for your experience. I'm stunned at the lack of sensitivity. :mad:

    I have to admit, though, that your Febreze story made me laugh! A few years ago my difficult child liked to use those "body sprays" and he'd put on so much that that awful smell permeated the whole house. Wish I'd thought of "counter-attacking" with Febreze! LOL! ;)
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    How horrible. I cannot believe the man's response. I am stunned. Sometimes the stories I hear here make me so grateful for my school district. They are not perfect by any means, but my dealings with them have been good.

  6. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    This was proposed once for my difficult child. Can you get recommendations from therapist/psychiatrist regarding appropriate placement to take to an iep meeting? I had actually met with a Special Education attny and this was one of the things we discussed. He said if there is "evidence" that a certain placement is appropriate, then you have a case with the sd if they won't at least try it.

    SW has a good point- I think it would be a good idea to do a little rersearch and visiting and find the school you want difficult child to go to, then push for that.
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I shopped for schools for my difficult child. Granted, Wisconsin has open enrollment, and most states don't, however I would have done it anyway then gotten an advocate and The Dept. of Public Ed to help me get him transferred. There is no way I'd put my kid in ANY school where the teachers talk that way to the children! And sometimes our own school districts can't meet the needs of our children, in which case they have to pay for another district AND the busing.
  8. maril

    maril New Member

    Wow, unbelievable! Glad you ran from that one. Wish I had some ideas or suggestions. Just want to give you a pat on the back for being a good warrior mom. :peaceful:
  9. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Wow. Poor difficult child. :(

    I'm so sorry, Beth. Sending good thoughts that you find a placement that fits.

  10. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    That man should be fired or taught how to treat children better.

    I sure hope you have a better option and can find something better. when we were in Idaho our next and only other option would have been homeschool.
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'm afraid I'm going to be in this same boat. We have one school in our district and you all know how well that worked for wee difficult child...

    No advice, just understanding. Hopefully you can find something that will work for him. Sweet that he got all dressed up. Your litte guys reminds me of mine a lot... :)
  12. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    OMG! I can not even imagine what my reaction would have been hearing that idiot speak to my child that way. I've had decades and decades dealing with schools and never have I had someone overtly acknowledge the lack of sensitivity needed for certain students.

    I'll be saying a prayer that you can find a suitable placement. Hugs. DDD
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    LOL! I love the cologne and Febreeze story!

    I'm so sorry about the ignoramus director guy. I think you made the right move.
    I suspect he was trying to make difficult child feel like he was part of the crowd, but it certainly backfired.
    I mean, why else would anyone ask if kids hit? Duh!!!!

    I wish I could help.
    I'm sending luck and support your way.
  14. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How sad. I agree that man should be fired. I'm sickened by how he handled this, how dare he kept saying, "just like you." I would have been beyond furious, for that matter I am furious. People like this have no business being in education.
  15. ML

    ML Guest

    The good news is that you were able to witness what life would be like for him at this school and you got the chance to run from it. Hold on to the belief that you are running in the direction to something better. That guy is an ignorant jerk. I'm sorry difficult child had to experience such treatment and just relieved that he revealed true colors like that.
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    So, do you have any plans yet? I wish I could help.
    I'm sending support and strength.
    You've already got the sense of humor! :)