Very Sad


New Member
Tomorrow was supposed to be difficult child's first day of his junior year of high school. Every year since kindergarten I have taken a picture of him on his first day of school. This year I can't because he's sitting in the juvenile detention center awaiting his Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) placement. I couldn't even go to see him tonight because my toddler turned three today and we had friends over to celebrate. Another family event difficult child has to miss and I know it breaks his heart because he was supposed to come home today. Except he broke the rules at the respite center (smoked pot) two weeks ago and had to be transferred to the detention center instead.

I know this is the best thing for him to make the choice to change his life. If he would have come home and then gone to the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF), it probably wouldn't have been as effective because now he's being forced to live through what his life most likely will be like if he doesn't make that choice. However, I can't help but be sad that I can't add his junior year picture to the rest.

Again, I know this is the best thing for him, but I can't help but think about that this all started because of three weeks of smoking pot and getting into a fight with their step-father and most kids don't spend weeks in a detention center for that. I had to call the police, though, because if I didn't, it would have been sending him a message that it's ok to do whatever you want and break the law...but it's not ok. He must be held accountable for his actions. I just hate this. Everything in his life is so hard, many times because of his bad decisions, but sometimes not, it seems like he just has bad luck. I pray he gets the tools he needs to turn his life around.

Hope all your G'sFG have a great first day of school. I miss my son so much it hurts...


Well-Known Member
{{{Cathy}}} My difficult child is a lot younger than yours so I haven't quite been there done that to your situation. I think I can understand your pain though. Missed milestones and traditions are a stark reminder of the losses all of our families face. Please know that you aren't alone in this. {{{Hugs}}}


New Member
I dont really know what to say other than I am sorry and am sending you big hugs and good thoughts!


New Member
BBK: That is a great idea...hadn't thought of that!!! I don't know when that will be, but that's what I'm going to do and that makes me feel better today.

Once he finally goes into the Residential Treatment Facility (RTF), hopefully this week, he could only be there there three months, but six months or more is likely. His whole way of thinking needs to be re-programmed so we'll see how longs it takes for him to "get it".

Thanks for all the hugs and good wishes! Yesterday marked four weeks since he went away and I really do miss him. It's odd because the two months leading up to this were really great. I remember thinking that for the first time in years, I really enjoyed being around him and he spent a lot of time with me and the babies even by choice. It was nice to see the good side of him, at least I know it's there. sigh.


Spork Queen's amazing how seemingly small things mean so much. I vote for the picture on the first day of HIS school.



Active Member
cathy, I remember some of those milestones too. esp grad day and the prom held at the highg school here while ant was in glen mills. you are on a different path now. a journey to save your son. he will have different milestones now. diff successes, diff classes. you are doing a great job dealing with it all. dont be upset if now and then you feel weepy. we wouldnt be human without having those times too. (((((HUGS)))))))