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Very scared
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 647937" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>It IS so painful when we try another way that in our heart we know it is the right thing to do for us - but leaves the adult "child" out on his own. I feel for you and what you are going through mentally and emotionally right now. You state that you have tried everything you can to help your son and nothing you have done it the past has helped in the long term so you are doing the right thing is so much as the saying goes "crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". You also state that you and your husband have health problems. You simply can not live a highly stressed life (caused by the actions of your son) and be healthy at the same time. Cutting him off and cutting yourself some slack is the best thing that you can do for you and your husband and your health. If you follow the board for a while, or search "Homeless" you will be amazed at how well these supposed "sick" people do on their own, homeless. Somehow they do manage to survive. At 34 your son has become adapt at manipulating you to do for him. I can not say enough how much I support you in doing the right thing by saying no to him and sticking to it. My daughter is 40 and was about your son's age when I went through the trauma (it was emotionally traumatic for ME) of realizing what she is and how she will never change. It is a painful step in the right direction to reclaiming your own lives. So have a pity-party, cry it out, whatever it takes to move beyond the frightening thoughts and the feelings of responsibility. Get those emotions out and remember just because you are "normal" by having them, doesn't mean you have to do a thing to change his situation. Get in the groove of actually feeling your own feelings, mostly real life grieving of the son you wanted but will never have. As I like to say: "You don't get through something by going around it, you must go THROUGH it to get to the other side"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 647937, member: 18366"] It IS so painful when we try another way that in our heart we know it is the right thing to do for us - but leaves the adult "child" out on his own. I feel for you and what you are going through mentally and emotionally right now. You state that you have tried everything you can to help your son and nothing you have done it the past has helped in the long term so you are doing the right thing is so much as the saying goes "crazy is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". You also state that you and your husband have health problems. You simply can not live a highly stressed life (caused by the actions of your son) and be healthy at the same time. Cutting him off and cutting yourself some slack is the best thing that you can do for you and your husband and your health. If you follow the board for a while, or search "Homeless" you will be amazed at how well these supposed "sick" people do on their own, homeless. Somehow they do manage to survive. At 34 your son has become adapt at manipulating you to do for him. I can not say enough how much I support you in doing the right thing by saying no to him and sticking to it. My daughter is 40 and was about your son's age when I went through the trauma (it was emotionally traumatic for ME) of realizing what she is and how she will never change. It is a painful step in the right direction to reclaiming your own lives. So have a pity-party, cry it out, whatever it takes to move beyond the frightening thoughts and the feelings of responsibility. Get those emotions out and remember just because you are "normal" by having them, doesn't mean you have to do a thing to change his situation. Get in the groove of actually feeling your own feelings, mostly real life grieving of the son you wanted but will never have. As I like to say: "You don't get through something by going around it, you must go THROUGH it to get to the other side" [/QUOTE]
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