Very very bad day

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TeDo, Oct 17, 2011.

  1. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Let's try this again. This board hates me (not the people but the board itself) and everything I typed went AWOL!!

    difficult child 1 snapped big time this afternoon. He was fine one second and the next second (literally that fast) he wanted to live anywhere but here. No warning, no stress, no "situation", no meltdown. Just an out of the blue sudden decision. From that point on, it was downhill. CTSS worker and his supervisor were here and witnessed what was going on AFTER it started. Worker called social worker and she arranged a "respite" shelter in a town an hour away. difficult child 1 happily packed his bags and said goodbyes to people saying this was the last time they were going to see him because he was never coming back. Supervisor went out to explain to difficult child 1 what the "shelter" was like and what would be expected of him. Worker gave difficult child 1 the choice to stay here or go to shelter. difficult child 1 couldn't decide so worker and super left and difficult child 1 remained outside with his bags and all. Next thing I know, difficult child 1 is gone and bags are in the yard. Called worker who told me he was with another family and would get back to me as soon as he could. An hour later worker calls, difficult child 1 is still MIA so he and I both spend over an hour searching town. difficult child 1 showed up at Boy Scout meeting like nothing happened. He told me he wasn't coming home and he wasn't going to some stupid shelter in another town. He informs me he is attending the scout meeting and then will decide where he IS going to go. CTSS worker goes to police station and asks for help. They can't help because difficult child 1 isn't in any legal trouble. Cop finally agrees to help get difficult child 1 from the meeting, they literally drag him. difficult child 1 is given the choice to have me take him to shelter or worker take him to shelter. That is the ONLY choice he has. He happily chooses worker and tells me "there's no way I'm going with YOU!" I ask him what I did and he said "you were born" calm as could be. This is all NEW behavior. It was weird and scary for me since it was so sudden and so out of the blue. There was absolutely NOTHING going on when he just "decided".

    I don't get it. I am confused, hurt, scared, you name it. difficult child 2 cried himself to sleep and I am finding that I am too emotionally in shock to even do that.

    Thanks for letting me unload. This has been the strangest thing I have ever witnessed. I have to go there tomorrow morning to do admission paperwork and am not looking forward to it.
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yuck! I've seen some pretty snap turnarounds, too, but... not THAT fast.

    The technology behind the board does NOT hate you, either... you know very well that it is absolutely nondiscriminating. It messed us ALL up. (that's the easy part to deal with!)

    difficult child 1... there just HAS to be something else going on. But what? and how to find it? and what to do until it is found?

    So many questions, so few answers.

    Do whatever you need to do, to destress tonight... hopefully you can take the edge off enough to get some sleep so you can cope with tomorrow...
  3. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Has he been on those medications for a long time? I haven't heard anything good abotu Straterra and Prozac made both of my kids almost psychotic. Sonic heard voices and started jumping off his desk at school on Prozac, and he was always very obedient at school. When I came to get him, his eyes looked glazed and he was wearing a funny smile...weird. The Prozac went in the trash for him. My daughter, Pastry Chef, pulled a knife on herself. Later she told us that Prozac made her feel like she had no impulse control and she would never take medication again. that was after a similar reaction to Celexa.

    I have no personal experience with Straterra, but know plenty of kids who took it then dumped it because the kids became manicky. Sometimes the kids had been on Straterra for several months before they suddenly spiraled out of control and had to go off of it.

    When there is a new and puzzling behavior, as one who had strange reactions to medications, I always think it is smart to look at the medications first. They can play havoc with your brain!
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Tedo,
    What a horrible day. I'm so sorry and wish I had some answers for you. Praying and sending gentle hugs your way.
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} I know this hurts like hell, but try not to think that it has anything to do with you... it's something in his brain.
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hugs. Try not to take his hateful words to heart, that is not him speaking but his dxs.
  7. keista

    keista New Member

    ((((HUGS)))) I was thinking medication issue as well. DD1 was on Paxil for 6 months before "creepy" started showing up, and your description sounded eerily similar. Flat, deadpan, no visible emotion, but verbally nasty, rude and aggressive.

    Best of luck to you dealing with and figuring this out.
  8. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I don't have any advice... Despite Onyxx, which, well, with her we just waited to see what would happen next. But... I do have LOTS of hugs for you.
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Most's a big supportive hug. Secondly has there been any medication change? I'm sorry. DDD
  10. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    He's been on Strattera for 7 years. The Prozac was started last April when he went into a deep depression because of the way the admin at the SD treated him during and after the Risperdal "fiasco". There have been no changes even in dosages since May.

    Thanks for the hugs and caring words. I finally did get some sleep last night, although difficult child 2 came into my bed during the night because he was having trouble sleeping. Gonna be a lllllllloooooonnnnnnnggggggg day.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Even if medications have not changed... he's at an age of major growth spurts of all sorts, and THAT can throw the medications balance way off fairly quickly.
  12. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    (((((((Hugs))))))) TeDo! I don't have any words of wisdom because I've been struggling with my difficult child's behavior as well but I can offer you lots of prayers and support!!!
  13. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm so sorry you and the difficult children are hurting. Glad there were people there that could help you and a place for him to go to. I hope he is doing better today and can work through the 'why did this happen.'
  14. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    When difficult child 1 was 14 years old, he was in a major downward spiral, got into trouble, went after the officer, was handcuffed and put into the back of a police car. As he was being put inside, he was screaming that he hated me, everything was my fault, and he rather be dead then have to go home with me.

    Tears streamed down my face while I drove to the police station. Not only was I worried about difficult child 1 but also I felt like I must be the worst parent in the entire universe. It hurt big time to hear him say this. Later, after he was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, I was told by difficult child 1's psychiatrist that it is common for difficult children to blame their mothers, or whoever provides the most day to day care, for all of their problems.

    Like others have said, try not to take this personally. It really doesn't have anything to do with you. So sorry you're going through this. Hugs... SFR
  15. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member


    When is the last time he had a full psychiatric evaluation? I think it is time.
  16. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    We have the neuropsychologist next month. It can't some soon enough!!

    Went up there to do the admission paperwork. difficult child 1 was just fine. All the other kids had gone to school so he was alone with 2 counselors. He happily showed difficult child 2 "his" room and played games with him. I told him I'd brought his school stuff he told me "I'm not going to school". The staff there said yes you are starting this afternoon. He wanted to make me think he was just fine with it so he "happily" said ok. He told difficult child 2 that he just needed a break from me. Well, wait until he finds out that it's not up to him WHEN he is "done" with his "vacation". So far, he seems to be enjoying "heaven". I wonder how long it will last.

    difficult child 2 and I are using this time to bond again. Things have revolved around difficult child 1 for so long that difficult child 2 seemed to get lost in there somewhere. I just wish difficult child 2 wasn't hurting like he is. No one can tell me there is no such thing as a "twin connection".
  17. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I am so sorry, but glad that you are able to look at the bottle half full. Bonding time with difficult child 2 are precious.
    Despite the scarry part of your son's gfgness, do you think it might have anything to do with regular teen rebelion? Mybe he needs a break and just cannot explain it...
    Big hugs to you. Hopefully you can get to the bottom if it soon.
  18. buddy

    buddy New Member

    That must have been so scary and heart breaking. I know what you mean when you say all of a sudden. When people say, well he was probably thinking about something and you didn't know, that could be true, but I had a feeling it was more than that and after 5 years we found out it was seizures. You just dont know, all angles need to be considered for sure. I hope they listen to you.
  19. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Nasty words hurt wheather they are heartfelt or not. I'm sorry he was mean to you. Puberty does mess with their medication levels. Good that you have an upcomming appointment. -RN
  20. lovelyboy

    lovelyboy Member son is still much younger, only 8 yr old.....But he can sometimes react like this. Almost allways, since he understands feelings a bit better, when I ask him 'what's up'.....then there has been some sort of social fight or misunderstanding at school or with friends that he doesnt understand. H often feelmso bad about this behaviour and has told me he doesnt want to be this rude, but just cant help himself!!!!!
    Don t take it personal, I know, believe me, it hurts when they yell f of, exct!
    I see he is on the autism spectrum.....sometimes he misread social situations, facial expressionsj exct. Often when I go and think deeply, desecting what happened before the outburst, then he misread or misunderstood something, or saw some behaviour at a friends house or on tv and he 'plays it out' to just get the kick of seing the reaction it gets!
    Hugs....hang in there!