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Very weird problem
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 662592" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Your son may be feeling guilty. That either he cannot or does not want to reciprocate but he should, he must, because of all of the good and nice stuff you do for him. </p><p></p><p>He may know in his heart that there are no strings, but he feels bad. But at the same time he may resent <em>being put</em> in that position. Of course, we know <em>he could refuse if he wanted.</em>...</p><p></p><p>But why quibble? Just stop it. </p><p></p><p>He sounds like a good man, a good person. A capable person. That is the important thing.</p><p></p><p>Let me tell you a quick story. In many primitive societies powerful people use gifts, use charity to demonstrate their power and to subordinate others.</p><p>Because the receiver becomes obligated and other things as well that I will spare you...</p><p></p><p>I find it fascinating that in our society we do not acknowledge the implicit effects of the giving/receiving relationship. Your son gets it. He said so when he said he felt owned. </p><p></p><p>Nomad, please, please do not feel bad. You and your husband did not one thing wrong. You are acting from your hearts. </p><p></p><p>This is a simple en route correction.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 662592, member: 18958"] Your son may be feeling guilty. That either he cannot or does not want to reciprocate but he should, he must, because of all of the good and nice stuff you do for him. He may know in his heart that there are no strings, but he feels bad. But at the same time he may resent [I]being put[/I] in that position. Of course, we know [I]he could refuse if he wanted.[/I]... But why quibble? Just stop it. He sounds like a good man, a good person. A capable person. That is the important thing. Let me tell you a quick story. In many primitive societies powerful people use gifts, use charity to demonstrate their power and to subordinate others. Because the receiver becomes obligated and other things as well that I will spare you... I find it fascinating that in our society we do not acknowledge the implicit effects of the giving/receiving relationship. Your son gets it. He said so when he said he felt owned. Nomad, please, please do not feel bad. You and your husband did not one thing wrong. You are acting from your hearts. This is a simple en route correction. [/QUOTE]
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