Victim Mom.....


Becoming Independent
I was going to make the decision for my son to go to the shelter after he was discharged and in a few days he was going to go be with his dad. I caved when he said he needed to get his stuff from he apt. he was going to be evicted from. So, anyway he is staying with me. Trying not to sound like a victim, but I feel like one. I am mad at myself for caving & I am trying to not get involved with the arrangements he needs to make with his dad, etc. I did tell him that when we stepped out of the hospital that if he ever lied, stole, cheated, or even bent the truth, our relationship was over. So, looking at it, I just feel like a wimp of a mother. I love my son, but I am ready for him to move on and get out of my hair.
We are getting along well and I know my son needs support, I am just basically fed up with the whole ordeal.


Well-Known Member
hi gail

you are human. a human mother. everybody goes nuts in our situation.

stop beating yourself up. you changed your mind. you have that right.

try not to threaten him in ways where you are likely not to follow through. of if you did--it would be at great cost.

of course you are fed up. but stop with the insults. you are not a wimp. nor are you his victim. you are making choices which sound reasonable. when you decide to do differently. you can.

it's good you're getting along. he sounds like he's trying. that does not mean you want him to stay. try to relax a bit and stay in the moment. it is not necessary to handle the future right now.

how old is he and what was he hospitalized for? the more info you give us the more supportive we can be. (i found your earlier posts/threads with more detail.)

take care.
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