This morning was not good... It all began over eye drops. A doctor has prescribed eye drops for J, who seems to be suffering from hay fever or some other allergic reaction. Sometimes he lets me put them in without fuss, other times there is a major scene over it - crying and struggling. This morning he was crying and wriggling, putting his hands up (after he had initiated the process by reminding me to put his eye drops in!) and I got - knowing it was not a good idea, of course - very frustrated and cross with him. Which then, as it always does, escalated into him being very angry and upset and had him hitting my wrist and then brandishing a (little child's plastic) chair at me, threatening to hit me with it... I calmed down, he calmed down, I talked about the violence and how unacceptable it is, he seemed to understand and accept this. He apologised. By the time he went to school, things were civilised and "normal" again. But the truth is... I HATE this kind of scene and I find it unacceptable to live like this, to have this kind of violence - threatened violence - and explosions of rage in my own home. If there is anything I want to do with and for my son, and for my life with him; it is to get him to master his explosive and violent proclivities... but... how on earth is this done. Just giving him some medications is clearly not going to do it. We have a few techniques... when I am feeling angry and frustrated with him, I go and pound on a pillow and encourage him to do the same. I try to get him to say "I'm feeling angry, Mummy" rather than hitting out. But the explosions just happen too quickly for him to remember or do that in the moment. Or me, come to that.