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Visit with difficult child at halfway house
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<blockquote data-quote="Tired Mom" data-source="post: 642957" data-attributes="member: 18222"><p>Thanks for your replies. I know one of his roommates mentioned that the restaurant he works at was hiring bussers and difficult child said he could do that. I want that to so work out but I don't know if difficult child will follow up on it. He really is afraid of people. I think the bussing job would be great for difficult child. To stay focused on the positive it really was a big step for difficult child to actually to go in and ask the one place about the job posting. He has had 3 jobs that he just fell into without looking. Once he has a job he does do a good job. One of my favorite memories was once when we was complaining about how lazy one of his coworkers was and he had to close the store by himself every time she worked. I don't think difficult child realized how much that made me smile since he has drove us crazy with how lazy he can be.</p><p></p><p>Yes unfortunately he is only doing the minimum. I mentioned to his counselor that his previous counselor had made it mandatory that he attend AA or NA meetings as part of his PTI and the NA had seemed to help him but she said she didn't agree with it but the philosophy of the center is not to force people to do things. I think one his roommates asked him if he wanted to go an AA meeting and he said yes. (difficult child is very much a follower.) He somehow seems to have met this girl at the AA meetings. He has helped her move and has shown up at their house at 2am with a puppy from the shelter she was volunteering at. I suspect he will continue to go the AA meetings to see the girl. I would prefer he go to AA for himself but maybe even it is for the girl he will get some good out of it.</p><p></p><p>I have read about the treatment for borderline personality disorder. There seems to be some hope that it may help people with antisocial personality disorder as well. The other night I was researching looking for ideas if difficult child comes back home and saw that are some people who have trained for this type of treatment somewhat near where we live. I think it was called Merma. I don't know if we will come to a day where we will need to try explore that more.</p><p></p><p>difficult child is difficult when not on drugs but when on drugs there is a meanness about him that is not part of his normal personality. We have seen the change is his personality twice. Once about a month and half before he was arrested and then the month leading up to when he moved out. I do not want to ever live with him when he is using again.</p><p></p><p>He is still saying he loves us when we tell him that we love him which has never happened in the past. We would have preferred that he save his money but he did get his brother a present for Christmas. He was thinking about someone besides himself. I need to take the small good things and hold on to them.</p><p></p><p>Seeing him do the minimum I am trying to mentally prepare myself that if he is ever going to get it that he may be someone who will need several trips to rehab to cumulatively get the help he needs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired Mom, post: 642957, member: 18222"] Thanks for your replies. I know one of his roommates mentioned that the restaurant he works at was hiring bussers and difficult child said he could do that. I want that to so work out but I don't know if difficult child will follow up on it. He really is afraid of people. I think the bussing job would be great for difficult child. To stay focused on the positive it really was a big step for difficult child to actually to go in and ask the one place about the job posting. He has had 3 jobs that he just fell into without looking. Once he has a job he does do a good job. One of my favorite memories was once when we was complaining about how lazy one of his coworkers was and he had to close the store by himself every time she worked. I don't think difficult child realized how much that made me smile since he has drove us crazy with how lazy he can be. Yes unfortunately he is only doing the minimum. I mentioned to his counselor that his previous counselor had made it mandatory that he attend AA or NA meetings as part of his PTI and the NA had seemed to help him but she said she didn't agree with it but the philosophy of the center is not to force people to do things. I think one his roommates asked him if he wanted to go an AA meeting and he said yes. (difficult child is very much a follower.) He somehow seems to have met this girl at the AA meetings. He has helped her move and has shown up at their house at 2am with a puppy from the shelter she was volunteering at. I suspect he will continue to go the AA meetings to see the girl. I would prefer he go to AA for himself but maybe even it is for the girl he will get some good out of it. I have read about the treatment for borderline personality disorder. There seems to be some hope that it may help people with antisocial personality disorder as well. The other night I was researching looking for ideas if difficult child comes back home and saw that are some people who have trained for this type of treatment somewhat near where we live. I think it was called Merma. I don't know if we will come to a day where we will need to try explore that more. difficult child is difficult when not on drugs but when on drugs there is a meanness about him that is not part of his normal personality. We have seen the change is his personality twice. Once about a month and half before he was arrested and then the month leading up to when he moved out. I do not want to ever live with him when he is using again. He is still saying he loves us when we tell him that we love him which has never happened in the past. We would have preferred that he save his money but he did get his brother a present for Christmas. He was thinking about someone besides himself. I need to take the small good things and hold on to them. Seeing him do the minimum I am trying to mentally prepare myself that if he is ever going to get it that he may be someone who will need several trips to rehab to cumulatively get the help he needs. [/QUOTE]
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