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Visit with difficult child at halfway house
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<blockquote data-quote="Tired Mom" data-source="post: 643701" data-attributes="member: 18222"><p>Hi Midwest Mom - I have also wondered if he could be a highly functioning on the Autism Spectrum. He doesn't have all the symptoms but some. He didn't have speech delays but from a very young age to this day he has been very noise sensitive. I can remember when he was only 3 or 4 or and the teachers at his daycare telling us how he really freaked out whenever there was a fire alarm. It worried them because he would run out of the daycare center. I can remember him being completely terrified of hand dryers in bathrooms at restaurants. One of the few items he wanted when we visited him was ear plugs. He is also very sensitive to what kind of fabric he can stand to wear and he has light senstivity. He has always had difficulty with eye contact and it is exactly him to say that he has the inability on how to communicate with others even though he has a good vocabulary. He doesn't really connect with people. I know the friend that he had for the longest was someone who talked a lot and didn't really need for my son to say much in return. I wish that friend had stayed in his life because he was one of the few people who I felt like wasn't using him. I have known one person who was diagnosed with Aspergers and that person would talk and talk and that part is not my son. He does have three main hobbies longboarding, snowboarding and reading. My husband can have meaningful conversations with him on those three topics but it is almost impossible to have a conversation with him about anything else. Sometimes when they are talking about a book they have both read I can hear a really intelligent person. It is really hard to draw that person out. </p><p></p><p>I think my husband's father could be a highly functioning Aspie. He is very much only focused on one topic cars. He worked as a mechanic. He memorizes every detail about every new car that comes out. Has been banned from car dealerships because they know they know he just goes there to get the brochures. When we visit him it is impossible to get him on a different topic. Usually our visits are 2 or 3 hours of hearing about every change each car has had with the new models. He very much reminds me of the one person I know who was diagnosed with Aspergers but functioning at maybe a higher level. I know my husband has always made his sons a priority because his dad really never connected with him or his brother.</p><p></p><p>I don't think my husband would be open to getting him tested and since my son is 20 I don't know if he would go along with it. I would like to get him tested. I worry about how our son would function without us. </p><p></p><p>With his rehab I am sure it is his lack of social skills that is keeping him from looking for a job and going to AA or NA meetings. When a roommate has said lets go together at this time to an AA meeting he goes but for him to do that on his own would be hard.. He likes going to the main rehab center. I think he might be going more than he is supposed to. Since he went there for a month he understands how it works so he has no problem going but to figure when and where an AA meeting is being held and to not have that fear of what the meeting will be like is difficult. I think if could get in a pattern for an AA meeting he would enjoy it. </p><p></p><p>I looked at the web site of the restaurant he had the interview with. It was a red flag to me that they are open until 2am. There is a curfew of 10pm at the halfway house. I don't think difficult child would make the connection when they asked him the hours he could work. We will see. Even if this doesn't work hopefully he will continue to try. For me that is the most important thing is that he is trying. He so easily just shuts down.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tired Mom, post: 643701, member: 18222"] Hi Midwest Mom - I have also wondered if he could be a highly functioning on the Autism Spectrum. He doesn't have all the symptoms but some. He didn't have speech delays but from a very young age to this day he has been very noise sensitive. I can remember when he was only 3 or 4 or and the teachers at his daycare telling us how he really freaked out whenever there was a fire alarm. It worried them because he would run out of the daycare center. I can remember him being completely terrified of hand dryers in bathrooms at restaurants. One of the few items he wanted when we visited him was ear plugs. He is also very sensitive to what kind of fabric he can stand to wear and he has light senstivity. He has always had difficulty with eye contact and it is exactly him to say that he has the inability on how to communicate with others even though he has a good vocabulary. He doesn't really connect with people. I know the friend that he had for the longest was someone who talked a lot and didn't really need for my son to say much in return. I wish that friend had stayed in his life because he was one of the few people who I felt like wasn't using him. I have known one person who was diagnosed with Aspergers and that person would talk and talk and that part is not my son. He does have three main hobbies longboarding, snowboarding and reading. My husband can have meaningful conversations with him on those three topics but it is almost impossible to have a conversation with him about anything else. Sometimes when they are talking about a book they have both read I can hear a really intelligent person. It is really hard to draw that person out. I think my husband's father could be a highly functioning Aspie. He is very much only focused on one topic cars. He worked as a mechanic. He memorizes every detail about every new car that comes out. Has been banned from car dealerships because they know they know he just goes there to get the brochures. When we visit him it is impossible to get him on a different topic. Usually our visits are 2 or 3 hours of hearing about every change each car has had with the new models. He very much reminds me of the one person I know who was diagnosed with Aspergers but functioning at maybe a higher level. I know my husband has always made his sons a priority because his dad really never connected with him or his brother. I don't think my husband would be open to getting him tested and since my son is 20 I don't know if he would go along with it. I would like to get him tested. I worry about how our son would function without us. With his rehab I am sure it is his lack of social skills that is keeping him from looking for a job and going to AA or NA meetings. When a roommate has said lets go together at this time to an AA meeting he goes but for him to do that on his own would be hard.. He likes going to the main rehab center. I think he might be going more than he is supposed to. Since he went there for a month he understands how it works so he has no problem going but to figure when and where an AA meeting is being held and to not have that fear of what the meeting will be like is difficult. I think if could get in a pattern for an AA meeting he would enjoy it. I looked at the web site of the restaurant he had the interview with. It was a red flag to me that they are open until 2am. There is a curfew of 10pm at the halfway house. I don't think difficult child would make the connection when they asked him the hours he could work. We will see. Even if this doesn't work hopefully he will continue to try. For me that is the most important thing is that he is trying. He so easily just shuts down. [/QUOTE]
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