Visit with the new principal.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Aug 10, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I took difficult child to meet the new principal Friday.
    The meeting went well.
    I'm not sure what I think. He was nice enough. He visited with difficult child and told him he could come to him to talk whenever he needed to. difficult child seemed to like him.
    After the visit, we bought school supplies and a few clothes (including 3 pairs of shoes so we won't have "bad hygiene" this year). When we got home, difficult child had a rage of epic proportions, the likes of which we haven't seen in months. It was "triggered" by easy child 2 showing up. She wasn't very nice on our vacation and difficult child claimed to be angry at her for it, but it was completely unprompted. When he calmed down, finally, he said he was angry at easy child for being mean to him, and angry at people at school for being mean to him.
    I am 98% sure school anxiety was behind it. Haven't had any problems since, either.
    Oh we have an additional hurdle. I have half a notion to contact SpEd director and let her know this.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well...glad principal seems nice.

    Ugh on the rage. Probably was school anxiety. He didnt have a good year last year so he probably isnt looking forward to this year. Hope he settles down and can look forward to a good first day.
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Poor little guy :( I would agree that a call to the SpEd director at school is in order -- if only for a heads up that this issue may present itself in the first few weeks.

    You might also think about taking difficult child to the school grounds a few times before school starts -- just to sort of try desensitizing him but in a very non-threatening way. He could walk around and check out the playground, maybe look in his classroom window, talk about how he's feeling... stuff like that. Just my 2 cents.
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Poor guy. My heart just goes out to him. The old school was bad and the new school rejected him and also abused him last year. I would probably feel scared and overwhelmed and angry too.

    I vote for calling Sp Ed Dir and letting her know that the seeds sown by Pretty Boy have started to bring fruit. Sadly that fruit is school anxiety and may bloom into full grown school refusal. When Wiz was so abused by his first grade teacher and then by his second grade teacher life was not fun or pretty for any of us.

    I spent the first 6 months of the 2 years we homeschooled just calming him down. The next year was focused mostly on what a friend of mine called "learning to be a person, just a decent person". She did NOT mean he was indecent, but rather that he had been so abused and dehumanized by the adults that he was almost feral. After that we got loads of academics done, but they could not be a focus because he was so traumatized. Lets pray that wee difficult child is not that damaged yet.

    Let Sp Ed Dir know that he will likely need a full time 1:1 and have her let YOU interview the candidates, at least part of the way.

    I am glad that difficult child has some time to start to adjust to the new principal. Hopefully this principal is as good as Pretty Idjit Boy (Mr Pib?) was bad.

    Doing some more desensitization is a wise idea in my opinion.

    Many hugs to wee difficult child. He has such a sweet heart, and he really deserves more than the so-called adults in his schooling have given him.
  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I am so dreading this...the chaos has begun.

    I sent an email to SpEd director last week (12 (business) days before the start of school) telling her that he needed to go full days, and we needed to get the planning meeting together BEFORE school started. I got a reply TODAY saying the full day decision is best made by the IEP team. If you'll recall, the IEP team did NOT make the decision to drop him to half days to begin with...Pretty Boy and the Superintendant did at a 5am secret meeting... I refuted asking where, in the IEP, is this parital day placement. I have not heard back.

    At the end of the year, when we met with wee difficult child's dr, the new SpEd teacher had big plans to have difficult child in the school with her before school started. We have 6 "school" days til school starts - I haven't heard a peep from her, despite having called and emailed her several times, and I know SpEd Director has contacted her on my behalf at least 3 times.

    The county agency case worked has requested a copy of his IEP 3 times now and has still not received it. She hasn't even gotten a reply.

    I can't imagine how wee difficult child feels. I am shaking and sick to my stomache thinking about having to go thru this again. And I wasn't the one shut in a closet.
  6. Christy

    Christy New Member


    Is it possible to make a phone call higher up in the ranks, superintendent's office, school board president or someone? Question the legality of continuing the half days and mention hiring an advocate. State that half days are not possible and difficult child is entitled to a full school day unless they are sending a homebound teacher to make up for the lost instructional time.

    Good Luck!
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Shari, the deicion may well have been a sneak attack by Pretty Boy, but if the Learning Team endorsed it later, then it needs to be undone by them.

    But I am confused - surely YOU are a vital cog in this Team? Youcan't have an IEP meeting without the parent present, surely? In which case - you would have been there when the team upheld Pretty Boy's decision.

    YOu can still insist. The whole thing hinges on your permission. At least as I understand it.

    However, given his school anxiety, it may be worth giving either serious consideration to the partial option, or failing that (if you are convinced it would be a bad idea) you need to put iin writing exactly WHY it's a mistake. I recall there were problems with partial, but a lot of that was added difficulty stirred up by Pretty Boy (who really was a nasty piece of work). My reading of it - the partial attendance was a move by Pretty Boy to cut back on difficult child's attendance, to try to get his hours reduced and reducved further, to show that the school was trying to accomodate his needs but just couldn't keep going. It was a move towards getting difficult child thrown out. It wasn't a valid move at the time, but if done properly it can be very useful in transitioning a kid back in to a previously difficult environment.

    Certianly let tem know about his post-visit rage. I also think it was a let-down post-anxiety reaction. Sort of like a mother who just saw her child have a near-miss accident, grabbing her child in relief and scolding him. "You gave me such a fright - if you get killed I'll never speak to you again!"

    difficult child is going to need defusing space, he is going to need a bolt-hole at school (in time and space). This perhaps needs to be considered and accommodated as a priority. I would also use a Communicarion Book for him, to travel between you and his teacher (and the aides) on a daily basis. There are thigns happening here that need a too-rapid response and coordinated information and communication from everybody, if this is to work.