I haven't been on here for a while, but reading through your posts reminds me how much everyone is going through. You people give me courage. Thank you for supporting one another and the advice given! It's hard to know what to say. My son was finally fully evaluated by the school but we are waiting for the psychiatric results (2 more weeks, we heard). It's taking forever. He has huge rages...I had a crises on my visit to California with him and had to take him into emergency....he freaked out when he didn't get frozen yogurt, was screaming, climbing over the seats and choking himself, chanting in a childlike way, "frozen yogurt...frozen yogurt" (Had another 1-2 horrible crises earlier in the trip as well) Sometimes he says he doesn't want to live. It must be awful to be him. I just want him well and whole. Today I had to call 911 - 4 cops came and he had to go to emergency (psychiatric) with my husband in an ambulance (this was a first). difficult child threw over our glass top coffee table and it completely shattered. It's hard waiting for answers when your son is so unpredictable and incapable of handling upsetting emotions that you feel unsafe when he starts to whine. I think there are anxiety/depression issues. But there is prenatal drug use (and possibly alcohol, we are finally figuring out). We knew there was heavy cocaine use.... but now possibly heroin and alcohol. I think Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE), not Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) (no physical characteristics). Anyone with knowledge of Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE)/Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) - and how to recognize it (Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE) in particular)? Once we get some answers, I'll post and let you know. Just needed to get this out in the meantime and receive any advice/help you can give. It's so exhausting, as you know. How do you love your kid when it feels like they've destroyed your life? My only answer is that it has to come from God...I am empty. difficult child not constantly horrific, but it's getting worse and worse and more and more frequent. When he's good - he is just great. But these bad episodes are taking over our lives. We are desperate and waiting. Thanks for listening. Me and husband - 40, trying to survive 1 adopted son (at 3), almost 11 rage, defiant - HELP!