wallowing in self pity

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by guest3, Nov 15, 2007.

  1. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    I am having a bad week, my dog died
    and now I am sick
  2. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    I'd say your Dad is probably as frustrated and angry with the Situation as you are, not at you or what you're doing/not doing.

    Is there any reliable nice neighbors you know who wouldn't mind watching difficult child for a few hours til you'd get home? I don't know where you're located, but sometimes welfare/family services will help with daycare costs.

    As for being angry, you should be angry with husband for putting you and the whole family thru this. You have no reason to feel sad for him. He chose his own path.

    I'm sorry you're having to go thru all this.

  3. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    the sad thing is Daycares turn me away, they do not want to know about a behavior disorder kid, sigh... and if I do not tell them once something happens he gets kicked out
  4. Stella Johnson

    Stella Johnson Active Member

    Do the kids have a neighborhood friend they could hang out with after school? Would your boss let you work from home part of the day? I'm not sure what you do for a living so I don't know if this will work or not.

    I've been there done that with the day cares.

  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    If you can get help with Jobs and Family Services for daycare, they should have a list of providers who work out of their home. Some of those should provide daycare for special needs kids. (A former friend of mine is licensed with the county to provide services in this manner.)

    It's something worth looking into.
  6. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Quote "But I am sure once he gets served the papers for the child support and custody hearing he'll have an excuse to go hay wire"

    Lost, well, if he was drunk Tuesday morning when he called you, obviously just being a Tuesday morning was enough for him to go haywire. At this point, he is nowhere near bottom, so I don't personally think serving him papers is going to make any difference in his haywire activities. He will probably be on a bender, any reason will do, up to the day he goes into his long term program.

    Do you have a YMCA near you - the ones here have afterschool programs and they even do a pick up at the school. Maybe check with the school to see if maybe they know of a parent who does afterschool care.

    Would it be possible for you to get a job doing nightshift?? That way maybe your parents could mind them till bedtime??

  7. KFld

    KFld New Member

    Sorry your dad is giving you such a hard time. Not exactly what you need right now!!!

    You are in no way coming off as being a spoiled brat. You are asking for help in time of need. Your trying to work to support your family and get benefits. If you were sitting home on your butt complaining about your situation and not doing anything, then you would be a spoiled brat, but I'm not seeing that!!
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    There are some retail stores that offer health ins. and you only have to work 20 hrs a wk. I don't know if I can post the names here, but one is a coffee shop named after the 1st mate in Moby Dick, and one is a ladies' clothing store named after some chilly water ....
  9. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    On the work issue, easy child works for UPS -their part time hours are 30 hours a week - there are years of waiting for full time however, while the start out pay is not stunning, the benefits are over the top good, and I think when he decides to move on, he can get the same benefits since he is now "union"

    So you might want to check them out, plus Fed X. There are tons of positions open, not just the ones hefting boxes into carts. Since it is the holiday season,he is working an xtra day shift as a drivers helper, but again is limited to 30 hours max.

  10. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    SO so sorry you are going through this still with him. Perhaps not answering the phone when he calls would be helpful? Although maybe not possible.

    I struggled with aftercare for years and years........UGH. You are right the Y and corp daycares do not want kids that have issues. I finally resorted to hiring high school girls. They were the same price as daycare, and in my opinion, did a heckva lot better job. Sometimes you can call your local HS and they have a list of names of kids who are interested in sitting in their community.

    As far as benefits, there are actually a lot of companies that are now offering benefits for part time people. I can think of at least 4 off the top of my head - Starbucks, REI, Container Store, Coldwater Creek. I know there are many others, but maybe that will give you a start. Plus those are companies that are known to pay very well - and it is the holidays so I imagine they need the help right now.

    As far as your dad........I am sending you massive hugs to get through that one. If I had to live with my dad, they might have to check me into long term psychiatric care, seriously! I can't imagine.
    Hang in there!
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    In no way are you a spoiled brat. We moved in with my parents a few years ago so husband could go to college. My health made it impossible otherwise. We needed the help.

    It was not all roses, not in any way. It was actually very traumatic at the end, but we all get along now. My difficult child actually moved back with them when he got violent. (HE is SOOO nuch better now. NOT perfect, but he is pretty darn good.)

    As for what the s2bx does, well, let him go off on a binge. It will make things harder on him.

    It might be a good (or great?) idea for you to go to AlAnon. Even though you are not living with the drunk, his behaviors are something you learned to deal iwth, and still have to deal with. Not all the coping skills we learn when living with someone with a substance abuse problems are positive skills in the long run. AlAnon really helps.

    Maybe when your Dad grumbles you could simply agree. "Yes, it really stinks what s2bx is doing. It is really horrible." Sometimes this acknowledgement is helpful.

    As for jobs, we could not find good daycare at many times. It was hard to find something that would keep my kids safe (from themselves and from others).

    I think the local Dept of Human Services should be able to help you find daycare that will be supportive. Maybe even a job with benefits!!

  12. 'Chelle

    'Chelle Active Member

    Sorry you're going through this. {{{HUGS}}} I've never had to go through the daycare worries, my mom looked after difficult child, and then husband worked nights and looked after easy child. I think WeepingWillow's idea of hiring a high school girl is a pretty good one. Paying them the same as other daycares would be a good amount of money for a high school student, they would be 1 on 1 with your difficult child which usually works out well for a difficult child as they do enjoy personal attention. As long as you're clear on what to do if certain behaviors start, they should be able to head them off, and being at home if behaviors start is a bonus as you don't have to worry about a difficult child going off on other kids or other's property. My difficult child broke a school bench once, luckily they could repair it and I didn't have to pay for it.
  13. guest3

    guest3 Guest

    thank you all, I would like to hire a HS kid to watch him, even a boy would work, although difficult child I is a HS kid and they always try to kill each other, but I guess that is a sibling thing. But of course living here my Daddoes not want any strangers in the house, and being he considers my and difficult child's friends to be strangers then I am thinking he would consider a sitter one too. He doesn't even like the in home therapists being here!