As you wonder through the maze of GFGdom, don't you find yourselves with a true feeling of wanderlust. Just wanting to get up & find a new, more exciting adventure. It's been a tough night for sleep & I've been extremely nostalgic this evening. There have been so many of our difficult children struggling .... really struggling. So many of our good parents showing the strain...I worry. Memories of husband & I as DINKs kept sliding through - the times we would take off from Seattle & hit the coast for flying kites & fresh seafood. It was fun - little thought & planning went into it & we came back smiling. Or heading East from Seattle to Spokane to visit the Onion bar & grill for a beer & an order of onion rings. Just to turn around & head home. Again silly.....the fun. We've grown, matured. We chose to become parents. Ahhhh, the parenting though has brought me, personally, to my knees. I'm honored to be kt & wm's parents yet at the same time humbled. I can think of nothing more that will help my babies & have other things on my mind. And I dream once again of the fun.......I search for this silly kind of fun for & with the tweedles & have floundered. So I look ahead again with husband....... I miss the laughter - the fun... I hope you have fun memories with your children - store them as they come. For husband & myself, these types of memories are too far & few between. And once again, we are out of ideas - from the simple to the grand. I guess it's the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) that doesn't allow kt or wm to relax & have fun with us. To enjoy building that goofy looking lego castle or watching mom totally fail at rock, paper, scissors. The things I would giggle with my mom & dad at. There is little bitterness left toward the illnesses/disorders that so define the tweedles; more a sense of the bittersweet. A sense of duty - knowing what needs to be done now & down the road. And praying that one day, we will become enough of a family to enjoy one another. To play together, laugh together, love one another.....to simply be.