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<blockquote data-quote="BloodiedButUnbowed" data-source="post: 711652" data-attributes="member: 13303"><p>I go through that with my stepson also. In my case, I am trying to manage and control his behavior through worrying and fretting. Of course this is doomed to fail and make me crazy in the process.</p><p></p><p>Al Anon has really, really helped me get better at this, though I am still not perfect. </p><p></p><p>You don't need to add any more stress into your life. Our difficult children do a plenty good job of that!</p><p></p><p>Deciding to no longer obsess about your child and their bad decisions will set you free to have a happier life for yourself no matter what the child is doing - especially if the child is an adult. If the child is a minor, then you do have some obligations under the law, but even so, by the time they reach their preteen years they ALL have free will and we cannot control them. In that case, boundaries and consequences including if necessary police and other authorities to regulate the child's behavior, if they won't respond to you. I have been told it is best to be proactive there depending on the situation, since legal consequences (fines, etc) could fall to the parent if the kid is a minor.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BloodiedButUnbowed, post: 711652, member: 13303"] I go through that with my stepson also. In my case, I am trying to manage and control his behavior through worrying and fretting. Of course this is doomed to fail and make me crazy in the process. Al Anon has really, really helped me get better at this, though I am still not perfect. You don't need to add any more stress into your life. Our difficult children do a plenty good job of that! Deciding to no longer obsess about your child and their bad decisions will set you free to have a happier life for yourself no matter what the child is doing - especially if the child is an adult. If the child is a minor, then you do have some obligations under the law, but even so, by the time they reach their preteen years they ALL have free will and we cannot control them. In that case, boundaries and consequences including if necessary police and other authorities to regulate the child's behavior, if they won't respond to you. I have been told it is best to be proactive there depending on the situation, since legal consequences (fines, etc) could fall to the parent if the kid is a minor. [/QUOTE]
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