Well, what's up everyone??? Thought I'd share the minute progress and plan for this week. Q still has had an angry outburst at least daily. His general anxiety has remained higher so many past, put to rest issues have surfaced. I am not going to jump on anything but the seizure issue because until he is settled in somewhere we wont know what is causing what (one change at a time is what works best with him) so as long as I can manage it behaviorally, I will stick it out. Can't remember even where I left off so I will summarize last week: The sp ed director and coordinator were supposed to ask and get answers to the questions regarding placement options and arrange for me to tour places two weeks ago. I got a message on FRIDAY that coordinator had JUST talked to our home high school and so the only time they had for a tour would be 12 on Monday. I reminded her of the multiple emails and times where I explained that with Q off of school I have to find care for him. He is with the home bound teacher at 10-11:30 just half a mile away so??? sounded like a good time to me! She said they had other commitments which I suspect were not there two weeks ago. Or at least not EVERY day for two weeks when we could have scheduled it at that time. My mom can't care for him and she was my only back up. I finally got one Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker to change his schedule to come and take him after school and stay with him till his therapy at 3. BUT that means THEIR routine is changed and Q is already perseverating on that. Idiots. And even with visiting this ONE place, the IEP meeting is scheduled for the next morning. I have had to shift money for extra times for our home psychiatric to go to these meetings and I am not going to ask him to go to this one. There is just not enough information to let me know what to do and I am not going to waste hours of fees on a meeting where nothing will really be talked about. Idiots. They want me to sign a change of placement and the law advocate says no way. We will make sure the wording shows that it is a temporary/interim IEP before we sign anything. I got a great summary from the home bound teacher and she said several times she is loving working with Q. He has not been heaven for her by any means, but I guess some people like that kind of thing. Again, not sure I said this here so sorry if it is a repeat..... but..... She saw I was reading Lost in School. She said "I love that book. In fact the entire behavior team is doing a book study on it for credit and then we are planning to bring it to the district" Can you imagine... it could actually help kids but of course in terms of Q ...probably not since it would most likely not affect anything wide spread for many years. Still, she said that on her second day of working with Q she was thinking of the kids in the book. She said he is exactly the kind of kid they need to do better with and to use more effective skill building strategies. She also said, when she asked me where I was considering placing him, that she thinks the SUN2 program is in the worst possible building and she wishes to high heaven they had picked a different school and used a more separated hall (like they do for some ecse programs). I wish that too. I was connected to a parent of a child who attends the EBD program where the SUN program is located. Her son is in 10th grade and has been there since 8th grade. That means his class is on the opposite end of the one hall that the classes are all in. I told her about the police showing up the day I was there and their saying that it was only the third lock down code they had had all year. And that the other two were for medical issues. She said, well if her son is to be believed... they do often call the police to break up fights. OMG THAT is exactly what Q would seek out if he saw it. He even told me yesterday, mom...when I get that mad people all come around me so I know they like it and so I will keep them around me. His intense need for attention, and not getting it through any other method because if he makes a mistake they dont work on it, they end it...no chance to learn the skills...just sink or swim......he is going to get people in his world in any way he can. She did say she has no fears for her son regarding drugs or even smoking because with how small the school is and with the adult to kid ratio being so amazing they are never without an adult around.....even in the bathrooms. She feels they need to move their son because he is not being challenged academically and he could be college bound. That is not a concern for me. I suspect they do have to gear to the kids with more challenges because so many kids with behavior issues have them due to learning needs in general. She also said it is a really hard group there right now and in the last two weeks they finally divided up the high school kids because the more intensive "ODD/CD" kids were mixed with kids like her son who has anxious attachment issues, depression etc... but no fighting kinds of stuff (he will run off though) and his grades ...even with no homework and low expectations had gone down to D's. So, they listened to the parent complaints and took care of it within a week and her son has not been complaining that he is miserable any longer. His grades have come up. But it is only two weeks into this new format. (again, not the program Q would be in but speaks to the general nature of the school) I asked if when teh cops were called for these fights, were the kids then arrested and charged or was it just for safety that they were called. She said her son thinks they are charged. But she said it is hard to know if kids really know or just assume or tell stories. She said there is a ton of swearing all around the school and she feels like they dont do enough to work on it...of course I can see that they have to prioritize etc... So I am nto criticizing but again, for Q.... that could be the kiss of death for any hopes of his reducing the behaviors. They assure me that he would be very isolated from the general population for most of the day but it would only take five minutes of transition or lunch room behavior or bathroom time words to have him develop habits that last for many years. My gut says no way... my mind says but what else can I do??? I have to just hold tough and wait to see more. I think they are dragging their feet so I will feel pressured to pick something. But I will tough it out and pick the best option (the best of the worst is what I fear it will be though). I got a copy of a letter to the district that the MN law center wrote. They attached my letter of concerns regarding the psycho. She made a ton of demands including compensatory education for Q. She asked for a formal letter of apology from the school and staff to both me and to Q. (I wont hold my breath because that would mean they could be held liable I assume...like an admission of guilt) I have been feeling this pain that goes from my heart area and shoots to the right, into my breast...not intense but on and off and it lasts for about an hour. I think it is related to my esophageal issues from the autoimmune disease but I can't also help but be a little cautious. My doctor did listen to my heart a couple of weeks ago and nothing bad ... but no tests or anything were done. I might get it checked out just for peace of mind. It is not the pounding anxiety feeling I have experienced in the past. Seems to just happen on and off. but I am sure overall stress could be making it worse. I am not freaked out or anything, but being a single mom...I just always feel like I need to be pretty careful. (my BiPolar (BP) was tons lower last dr appointment and I was down 8 more lbs). Pretty rambly update....thanks for listening. I am in one of those thoughts just rolling around in my head states...I was so pi$$ed off last week with the coordinator and really did not send my nice emails as I usually do. I cc'd everyone on each email. So frustrating that she waited till the last minute to make the appointment. UGG.