Warning: Yet another husband-and-his-ilk rant

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by gcvmom, Jul 30, 2011.

  1. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Today is the anniversary of my first date with husband. We typically take time every year on this day to go back to the restaurant where it all began -- kids in tow for the past 16 years and without of course before that.

    I'm recovering from bronchitis, but I felt that I could manage the short drive down to the beach for dinner and maybe even a ride across the harbor ferry and a stroll through the little downtown which the kids always seem to enjoy. I sent husband a text yesterday asking if we were still on to go down there this evening and he said sure, if I was up to it.

    Last night, husband gets home from his 90 min. commute and promptly heads for the bedroom to lay down and watch TV while playing Spider Solitaire. That's how he decompresses, I get that.

    After he ate dinner, I went up and asked if he'd watch a dvd with me -- it was a movie he got me for Xmas and since it's rated R, we can't very well watch it downstairs where the kids were hanging out. His response, "I thought we were going to [Indian casino] -- (wink, wink, big smile)," as he continued playing the computer game.

    I'm thinking, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! But instead I calmly reminded him that I'm still coughing a lot and don't really have the energy for a 75 mile drive down there and back, much less hours sitting in a smoke-filled casino. He thought for a minute and nodded his head. So I asked if he would watch the movie again, telling him I thought he'd enjoy it because of the drama/action, etc. He declined and said he was going to go down to [Indian casino] because it was Friday night and he'd been cooped up home sick for the previous week and a half and wanted to get out of the house.

    Fine. So I put the movie on. He continued laying on the bed playing the computer game, but quickly got drawn into the movie and ended up watching the whole thing.

    Jump to this morning. He's getting dressed and tells me his sisters were going down to the parents' new place today to do some cleanup and he was "invited" to join them. Okay, so when are you going? Well, he didn't know yet he was waiting to get a text back from them. A few minutes later he says they're meeting down there around 2:30pm. Fine, so go down, help them out and then come back and we'll go to dinner at the beach like we planned. Well now he doesn't think that's a good idea and why don't we just go to a different restaurant for lunch today? Or go down to the beach tomorrow?

    As he's trying to orchestrate reasons why we shouldn't/can't go through with our plans, I'm trying to think why this sudden change and desire to go hang out with his sisters today -- he never goes to just "be" with them, there's always something going on. Then it hits me! They are all very likely going to the Indian casino after their little work party (it's just minutes from mother in law's place)! And husband doesn't have the balls to come out and say that to me, apparently.

    So he just left to get his hair cut and we agreed we could go to the beach tomorrow night after difficult child 1 gets home from camp. We'll see if it's actually able to happen. Meanwhile, I'm going to have consider my response if he does end up going gambling with his sisters tonight and why he wasn't forthcoming about it.
  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    And now I'm thinking that this trip to the casino is his family's attempt to "win" the $300 their parents say they still need for their trip back to here when the movers leave (to cover gas, food, and one hotel/motel night). Because the night before when he was telling me about this latest plea for funds, he said he'd told his younger sister someone should go win it at a casino. :crazy2:
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Tough one.

    My best guess of why he wasn't forthcoming is because you would have been miffed - rightly so - and not willing to let him go. HOWEVER he's really been Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)'ed on this casino thing and has FINALLY found an opportunity to go. I often think understanding what makes a person "tick" makes life even MORE difficult because then we have to adjust our own instinctive reactions which = WORK.

    Good Luck. I'll be sending positive energy your way.
  4. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'd be ticked, too. Especially since it's an anniversary that you've celebrated for years; not like you just decided to go out on the spur of the moment and hoped he could join you.

    I'm curious to know what happens if no one manages to win that $300...who coughs it up for dear old Mom and Dad?
  5. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Yeah, I'm curious, too Mary. I think he knew better than to ask me for it because we just had it out over this very issue a few weeks ago and he knows I'm still angry about paying for their plane tickets to get back to TX.

    He certainly won't be able to take it out of our checking account behind my back, because there isn't $300 in it!
  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    He just called. He's on his way to the casino. sister in law#3 and her husband are spending the night there since they are going back to mother in law's place to do more work on the place in the morning (and their house is 150 miles away).

    I didn't even address the money issue. He'll find out soon enough there's pittance for him to use. I did hear him yawning and asked if he was o.k. to drive down there. He assured me he was, so I said okay, be safe. So what's his response? "I don't think anyone's going to hit on me in my sweaty clothes I've been working in all day." WTF? What's THAT got to do with what I just said?!

    I asked if that's why he was going down there -- because he thinks he'll get hit on? I asked has that happened before down there? (I know of one other time it's happened, and that was in Vegas in the wee hours of the morning and he said the girls were clearly hookers and came up to the room to tell me all about it like some little kid bragging about some big-boy stunt he'd pulled off). He starts backpedaling and getting defensive. He says it's flattering to have people notice him. I asked him if it's flattering to be hit on by hookers?! What on earth would make him think of THAT when I tell him to be safe? As in DRIVING DOWN THERE. He claims he though I meant be safe at the casino, watch out for pick-pockets, etc. Uh huh. He must think I'm really stupid.