Warrior Mom wiping floor with difficult local school admin.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Farmwife, Mar 17, 2010.

  1. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    this is sort of spec. ed. related but not specific to one issue. I'm celebrating a win. Sorry if in wrong forum area.

    I hope I am not jinxing myself by feeling smug so early.

    I read something by a Mom (another site) who shared that parents who are polite, meek and civil get more support from IEP teams. It seems that you get more flies with honey than vinegar. It was something about not bruising the egos of teachers who know our kids and how to teach them "better than we do".

    That's not my style. I got a fly swatter and now have the bully school admin. feeling intimidated. I'm not one for allowing people in authority to dominate me. I'm not going to beg any school to provide services that they are legally obligated to.

    I sent that darned certified letter, made some pivotal phone calls and am commanding respect. I'm TELLING them what they will do for my child per expert reports I gathered. The school has gotten away with murder by using delay and deny tactics with other tired spec. ed. parents up until now.

    Let me be the first to tell you and them, I'm not the one!!

    It's amazing how researching the law and making friends with a lady in the spec. ed. division of the state board of education (also parent of spec. ed. kid) works wonders. Conveniently enough our district is under focused monitoring for not exactly being up to par. Went to a parent forum and it was shocking. Some of the teachers actually publicly belittle spec. ed. kids. ie: one high school teacher announced that since "so and so" had to get special notes due to iep the whole class would too...done in a nasty tone and clearly emberassed spec. ed. kid in gen. ed class. Also clearly violated privacy.

    Anywhoo...now that I know what my rights are and I know when I am in the right and they are feeding me a line of B.S. there is no confusion. All of the sudden they know there is no more wool over my eyes and their attitude has changed. Now those %*#@$ are almost butt kissy....;) I get two follow up calls per my one call now instead of calling twice and never reaching anyone. All of the sudden there is a sense of urgency with them after a 5 month wait.

    I must be on to something.

    Knowledge is power.
    One voice matters !
    If you KNOW the law is on your side use your voice LOUDLY, make calls, file complaints, call the media or your senator if you have to.
    Every bully administrator has a bigger fish of a supervisor who does not want to be liable. Of course, be polite when calling the big bosses. Going over the districts head really does make things happen.

    I am just sick to death of the school playing games with my childs education. I am not going to take any of their junk anymore. They got me so mad I have that "crazed" look in my eyes and I think they can sense it. I am ready to go toe to toe with them no matter what it takes.

    ...I'm also on the verge of organizing a class action for the teachers verbally and emotionally abusing the kids.

    They cheesed off the wrong warrior mom.:nono: I'll almost be sad if the are cooperative. I 'm kind of looking forward to battling it out with them. They pushed me too far this time.

    *deep breath*

    If they think they scare me they must not know my difficult child well. :tongue: If I can survive raising him I can do anything including taking on a legal battle against a school district singe handedly!
  2. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    I was always a "you get more with sugar than vinegar" type person until I had to deal with my difficult child's SD. I learned quickly to keep a paper trail of EVERYTHING that happened, no matter how trivial it seemed at the time. I preferred written correspondence to phone calls. I hand delivered my letters, and requested the copies be initialed and date stamped. I put my initialed, date stamped copies into a large three ring binder. This binder tells the "story" of the major battle my husband and I had attempting to get appropriate services for difficult child 2. I kept a second binder filled with all of his evaluations, etc... The binders are HUGE!!! We would have had a much more difficult time arguing our case if we hadn't kept a "paper trail." We're finally nearing the end of our battle. It's been stressful, long, and difficult, but, hopefully, it'll be worth it...

    Your difficult child is lucky to have you fighting as hard as you are!!! Keep up the excellent work!!! And, if you win a major battle for your difficult child, it'll most likely help other difficult children in you SD too. You're definitely one tough WARRIOR MOM!!! Way To Go!!!

    Please let us know how things turn out. SFR
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    It's one of the reasons we always, always, always recommend certified letters (they know you mean business) and self-education of the law. If you don't know what your child is guaranteed, you can't fight for it!

    Good work warrior mom!!

  4. Farmwife

    Farmwife Member

    I know, I know. :bow: You guys were right. It really does make such a difference. Their about face and new attitude is almost creepy. Makes me suspicious since they were such #$%$% to begin with.

    I wish I would have rocked the boat sooner. As I mentioned before this rural social hierarchy thing is complex. Sometimes jobs are secured by just a brief chat and having the right last name, you know? difficult child and I being a semi recent transplants (almost 4 years) really makes getting "uppity" a long term issue. We'll be paying for this IEP in "community social debts" for years to come.

    Of course the uber civil, quiet locals who keep things so very polite here are also the exact kinds that the school learned to walk all over too.

    Now I can get to the task of being diplomatic and trying to join the team since I finally got their attention. No need to keep them on the defensive as long as they play nice. Being battle ready can be tiring.