Was today dress like a H%€ day?


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I cringe most mornings when daughter goes to school. The clothes are either risqué for high school, not appropriate for school or weather, or she looks like she rolled out of bed and went to school. And yes, she has got called in to the office and given a school Tshirt to wear. The last time happened when another parent was at the school, saw her, and went to the office to complain!

No matter what I do, she finds ways around it. Removes the top she had on when she left the house, leaving the skimpy camisole on that was bought to layer under clothes. Today she had in high heels, a black camisole, and a tiered mini skirt that she must have gotten from a friend. It was 60F outside. I have even done panty checks... She has purchased thongs, but under a short skirt at a school that has staircases... Nope, it shouldn't happen, but she will try to get away with it.

If I was driving, I would have refused to take her. But, she was walking to a friends for a ride. The school doesn't complain about skimpy tank tops or camisoles.

Her little sis is embarassed to be seem with her at school. No amount of suggesting different choices does any good. 5 more months if high school. Ugghhh. KSM


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Clear her room. Give her granny panties and bras, full length tan pants, and white turtle necks. White Keds round out the ensemble of shame.

Send an extra set to school. That way if she changes before she gets to school they have something else to put her in.

You are not required to give her cute clothes. I bought my daughter 3 sets and she had to wash them in order to have clean things. If she messed one up then she only had two. It took about 4 weeks for her to buckle.


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Hi ksm,

I agree with the idea on throwing out any and all suggestive clothing (and clothing that she wears in a way that it was not intended to be worn). No pretty, matching underclothing. No high heels. No short skirts.

If she brings home a friend's clothing, it is either thrown out or you can call the friend to pick it up. If these girls know their clothing with be thrown away, they will be less likely to loan her their stuff.

You have had a long, tough road, ksm.

You and your youngest need to be able to live your lives in peace.


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If she brings home a friend's clothing, it is either thrown out or you can call the friend to pick it up. If these girls know their clothing with be thrown away, they will be less likely to loan her their stuff.
Next step is they just store the loaned stuff in the school locker and change at school. Not that it isn't worth doing, to make the statement. Just be aware that you might not actually accomplish much else.


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She is almost an adult. At this point clothing would not be a battle I would pick. If she is cold then she is cold. If her clothing choices hurt her reputation, it is her reputation to deal with.

How an almost adult person chooses to cloth herself doesn't really reflect to you; or at least you shouldn't consider it does.

If you want more drama and animosity to your house for these couple of months then picking this battle will guarantee you have it. But she is not 13 any more, you do not need to intervene, if you do not absolutely want to.


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Suzir - not what I wanted to hear, but I don't have it in me to keep up this battle. I will draw the line if I am going to be seen in public with her...

I just feel embarrassed and wonder what I could have done differently. And I have thrown quite a bit of things away... But you are right, she can unbutton tops, hike up skirts, borrow different clothes as soon as she leaves the house.

She is such an attractive girl, that I hate that what she does detracts from her...



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The more you push the harder she will push back. They are finding themselves at this age. if her peers say something about her choices, she will change her clothes. I walked around with raised eyebrows over all 3 of mine and now at my 18 year old granddaughter. I did not make it a point of contention with any of them. I did get a call when my oldest decided to shave her head in 1995 because her dye job turned green. She would have fit right in these days.