Thanksgiving has come and gone. My visit with my mother went very well. She was kind and did not hurt my feelings once, I am grateful for that. My 35 year old bipolar daughter did not come with me, which is sad because my mother and her have a special bond. I try very hard to control my emotions and words but this past 6 months my daughter has pushed me to a point where I felt out of control. I screamed and yelled at her until my vocal cords hurt. In my everyday life, I pride myself on being kind and respectful to each soul I meet. My daughter has pushed me that hard with her choices and her lies. Nov 15th was her deadline, either pay us rent or she was going to get evicted. She came over and looked at me and saw I was dead serious about evicting her. I think she thought I was the same old push over that she used and disrespected. She knows that the old push over me is gone for the most part and I have had enough of her crap to last me 100 lifetimes. I told her that where she chooses to live is really no concern of mine, I told her that we are not going to support her and her non contributing boyfriend and she knows how to make things happen, she is very wise on ways to rip me off, she can use that wisdom to make things happen for herself. She knows deep down that I may have been the worlds worst push over in the past but I am not one now. She knows I have a broken heart but does not care, it is all about her. Well, she came up with rent money. She has now paid 1/2 of what she owes and has a plan to pay the rest. It is still thousands of dollars but it is a start in the right direction. She gets to live in a very nice home for a fair rent. I put a large down payment on her home so the rent would be very doable. She knew she would have to live in a studio apartment for more rent. Why she did not think about this as she was not paying her rent is a wonder of the world. Why cause me all the grief in the first place. I talked with her last night and got an earfull of lies. I have told her and explained to her a thousand times that her lies stress her brain and body out and give her anxiety, why not work at trying to stop it. I have spent probably a million dollars on therapy to get her to stop the stupid lies but yet they keep going. The damage is awful and she hangs on to the lying like it is gold..Can she really not stop lying? Why on earth would someone put themself though so much stress and anxiety. At least the forward motion is in the form of trying to repay me for rent. I am happy about that but she still owes. At 35 I would have never done that to my parents, in fact I was sending them money. So for now we talk and text. I can not be completely comfortable with her, she hurts my spirit with the lies and secrets. I love her dearly, I do not like how she is with me. I see bits and pieces of her trying and then 5 steps backwards. I know she knows better. In the past my daughter has come up with some very intelligent ways on how to rip me off. She took college money out of a college fund and took trips around the world. She can talk her way out of trouble, she knows the right things to say even when she is clearly at fault. She has some type of intelligent way to be deceiving. But as always the truth always does come out. She is painful to be around and she is extremely painful while she is manic. She is precious and she is devious. I know I have to work on myself. I read a meme the other day that said when you become your own bestfriend life becomes much better.