I know this should probably be on the board for older kids, but I was hoping to get a lot of input (might also post there as well). Our daughter, just had her 21st birthday. She is BiPolar (BP) and adhd and fairly medication compliant. She had a very rough time all through school, but a private school and much intervention helped her get through and she has a hs degree. She does not do drugs, but is impulsive. She is not violent, but can emotional and is prone to mood swings. For the most part, she is respectful to my husband and myself. A little over a year ago, she moved out. She is on SSI and we put her in a nearby apartment that is more or less within in her budget. She (for the most part) asks for little financial help from us (until recently). My husband gives her a tiny spending allowance. She was told a long time ago to get a part time job by her pscyhologist and has little to no luck. She has worked very little temporarily. Honestly, there are few opportunities for part time work, but she has given up trying. Social Security will help her, but she will not take their help. Recently, she started hanging out with an unusual difficult child. He actually has a good head on his shoulders, but is an alcoholic. He lost his job and his father kicked him out of this home. difficult child took him into her apartment. Since then, life has been chaotic. difficult child never has any food, any money and one time this boy hit our difficult child. difficult child then proceeded to call family friends who were very upset. At first, difficult child didn't want to see him again, but you know the story...he is back in the picture....Seems he and even his brother, are eating her food. by the way, this boy is very nice when he is not drinking. Perfect manners, lovely dispostion, etc. I don't know many alcoholics, but seems I have heard this before....I have suggested AA and Al Anon... I am concerned about the big picture this paints....no money, no food, future beatings... difficult child came over for dinner yesterday for a family event. We gave her left overs and told her there will be NO extra money if she runs out of food. That she will have to go hungry. She is adopted, and she started crying and talking about feeling abandoned, etc. I'm frustrated AGAIN, because I am well aware and everyone who knows me is well aware of the untold about of effort, time, money, care that has been put into this child and yet we are looking at continued poor choices and difficulty explaining this to her. My husband told her that she is abanding herself....when she makes such poor choices. I don't really think she gets it. Does anyone have any suggestions? How do you keep your chin up? Also, difficult child is no longer seeing her therapist....how might I suggest she consider going back? This is very tough for a mother to see and I have noticed that our son (who is excelling) has also found this heartbreaking.