We bought the most beautiful trailer...and I"m still a mess

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by MidwestMom, Mar 19, 2009.

  1. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    It's gorgeous! Double wide, new, skylights, two big bathrooms and a huge kitchen, nice size all around. But I'm still an emotional wreck from the stress, plus now my dad won't talk to me. I planned an 85th year old surprise party for him (MY IDEA) and my sister was going to do it at her house since he lives in her state. One day, when all this was going on about the house, and I was so near the end of my rope, I said to sister, "I may not even show up at the party. I'm not even sure I won't be in the hospital." So she told him we had a party planned and that she was canceling it because of me--that I was mad at him (which I kind of am, but she wasn't supposed to tell him! I don't tell him when SHE is mad at him). AND SHE CANCELLED IT, including telling my brother to sell his ariline ticket. And I'm sure she blamed me. If she had said, "Then I'm canceling" I would have found a way to show up.
    Anyway, he won't answer the phone now and he's a very self-centered man and may never talk to me again. Who knows? My mother disinherited me too. I'm used to it :redface: (only it's not funny. It hurts, like you never meant anything to the parent). To say the least, I don't have a loving family. So I'm seeing a therapist this afternoon, and trying to see all that in a new light. At least we have our new house and my daughter, who I was so worried about, is so excited that she wants to bring her brings to see it on the inside. I worried for nothing :faint:. But I always worry for nothing (anxiety disorder, panic disorder, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)...I have all three...not fun, even on medications). Anyway, I just wanted to update all of you great people on the good, the bad, and the ugly. My Dad is acting like a baby. He won't talk to me. If I call, he picks up the phone then disconnects. I feel like a naughty little girl...grrrrrrrrrrrr...Hub is great. He tells me to forget the family; they are nuts. If Dad disinherites me, like Mom did, so what? We have our house, our kids, and all that stuff...:D. I'm glad I have him.
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Dad's problem is dad's problem. It hurts and its hard, but its his loss. Try to see it for what it is. You cant fix what isn't yours.

    I'm glad your daughter is excited. Maybe she will enlighten her friends that the park isn't all that bad and she will be a pioneer and a trend setter. With the economy like it is, she's likely not the only kid who's going to end up in what they view as "less than ideal" conditions - maybe this will be good for a lot of kids to see that its not as the label implies.

    Congrats on your beautiful new home. Take some time to unwind. Glad you have an appointment this afternoon.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    Congratulations!! Your new house sounds absolutely gorgeous!!!

    And moving is always a huge stress....so don't be too hard on yourself for not sailing through the whole situation.

    As far as your Dad goes....if he really didn't care about you, then why would he be upset that you were not coming to his party? Seems like he would have said "Well so what if she's not coming? We don't want her at the party anyway!"

    So, weirdly, the fact that he is angry and upset is a sign that he really does care about you. He is just expressing his feelings at the toddler level by essentially saying "You won't come to my party? Then I won't be your friend any more!!"

    Hopefully...he will realize that he is being foolish and will come around.

    Best of luck in your new home!!

  4. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! What you have done is NOTHING short of miraculous!!!! I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU.

    As far as your father? He's the one missing out on things. BIG TIME - he has a fantastic daughter.

    Concerning your sister? She's a piece of work. Maybe you should send her a thank you card for being such a concerned sister and BLABBER mouth. No more sharing with her. Period.

    With regards to your daughter? I knew it. I knew it. (lalallallalal finally I'm the aunt that knew something ahead of time and I was rrrrr rrrrr right)

    In keeping with the friends you have here -

    Hanging out for a hug - and huge huge best wishes on your move.

    YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU BEAT THE ODDS!!!!!!!!
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Congrats on the wonderful new place to live. :D

    As for the parents disowning you........after a few times, it doesn't even raise emotion. Sad, but true. I can't even count the number of times my Mom has pulled that one. I just ignore her. lol And given time....and the fact that I refuse to crawl to her like my sibs do.........she knocks it off. Until the next time I tick her off. Which is often. sigh

    Dad will get over it. You've got alot going on right now and can't help your situation. Sis needs a foot up her arse.

  6. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Wow, your new place sounds AWESOME!

    Family is what it is. You can't change the craziness. The best thing, sometimes, is to just walk away so that you don't get sucked into the craziness (you've got enough to deal with in your own family). I've had to do that with my dad. It's just not worth the aggravation and heartache to subject myself to people like that just because I happen to be related to them. I didn't CHOOSE the relationship, but I can choose whether or not to allow that person to make me miserable. And I choose to be happy. Doesn't mean I don't feel disappointment and hurt over the lost "ideal" of what I think that relationship "should" have or "could" have been. But I try to go ahead and feel the feelings and then get over them and move on.

    But I digress: I'm so happy about your new home! :D
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    So glad your new home is beautiful and that daughter is pleased!

    As for the rest of it...I'm sorry family is being so stinky.

    Big hugs. Enjoy your new home.
  8. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Is there a reason you can't reinstate the party? Maybe you can host it at your new home after you move in.

    Congrats on your new home. It sounds wonderful! :bravo:

  9. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Thanks, guys!
    You R the BEST!!!!!! ;)
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Hey MWM...welcome to home ownership! Take some pics, we wanna see it. When I bought this thing I took a walking tour and posted them online...lol.
  11. Janna

    Janna New Member

    OH YAY!!! I am so so so so so so happy for you! Woohoo, you go, MWM!

    Please make sure you put up pics. Congratulations, hon. I'm so happy, relieved and thankful to hear it all worked out for you.
  12. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    Sounds like a wonderful new home. I am so glad your daughter is accepting it now. I am sorry that your sister made such a rash decision as to cancel the party. She has to understand the stress you are under right now and that you any event would be difficult to manage during a move.
  13. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Excellent!!!!:jumphappy: Great news. Sometimes it's good to live in another state. Don't let it dampen your good spirits. You get to make a family with hubby and kids.
    Sister is a trouble maker.
  14. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    I bet sis was a tattletale and was always trying to get you in trouble when you were kids too. I have one just like that. Little miss "perfectt" who never makes a mistake and always is trying to proove how much better tham me she is. UG why cant sibs loose the childhood dynamics and embrace each other as adults in an adult relationship. Your dad? He is just an old man who has been disappointed and was given you for a target by your sister. IGNORE it all.

    now for the important advice.....Enjoy your new homeand your own nuclear family. They are what really matters anyway!!! -RM
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Congrats on the new home! I'm so glad easy child is excited. I'm sorry you dad is being such a pita-definitely his problem. Hugs.
  16. Jena

    Jena New Member

    your dad's issue is your dad's issue. i'm happy for you and your right you do have alot to be grateful for, you will calm in time and be able to enjoy your new place. it sounds so nice.

    as far as the therapy goes good for you, your taking care of you. i know what you mean in regards to the anxiety, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), panic attacks, ptsd. oh that's me, and it's hard to manage. i do it with-o medications i'm literally doing my mediation breating all day lately inbetween visits. i almost had a panic attack today.
  17. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Take a deep breath and let the past few months go!
    Time for a fresh new start!
    Way To Go!
  18. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Congrats on the new home!! We might be neighbors!

  19. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member

    Wishing you all the best in your brand new beautiful home!!! WFEN