This is a spin off of Bunny's post. husband and I are at a standstill at the moment. I simply can't shoulder all of this and end up the main target all the time. I see that many of you are in the position and need help. Maybe no one has a handbook on how to train husband's... but if you could write one, what would you say the most important things for him to do are? Tonight is going to be a serious talk about what will happen in the future. I'm going to try to make it easy for him and use bullet points, such as -We are a team, no disagreements in front of difficult child at all. -Stick to the consequences. -No idol threats of consequences you know you will never follow through on. -No 3rd, 4th and 5th chances... These are things that are specific to difficult child and our situation, so they may not apply to how your difficult child handles things. Please add your own. What would you like most for husband to do/understand?