We did it!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by smallworld, Sep 1, 2008.

  1. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    Just wanted my CD family to know that after a 3-hour meeting last week, my son J qualified for his very first IEP and was placed in a self-contained program for socially and emotionally fragile high schoolers (called the Bridge Program). He begins tomorrow.

    The meeting was very cordial. There were probably 20 people around the conference table, but that included our sped attorney, educational consultant, J’s psychiatrist, husband and me. Whenever we’ve gone into IEP/504 meetings over the years, husband and I have always felt that the school team has already choreographed exactly how the meeting is going to go. I know it’s not supposed to happen that way, but it always feels like that to us. Last week's meeting was no exception. I think the team was leaning toward the Bridge Program even before we stepped through the door because they knew they didn’t have the appropriate services at our home HS to meet J’s needs. The team invited the county SD supervisor of ED programming to attend the meeting. She was the one who offered and explained J’s placement after the IEP was written.

    J is already anxious about starting a new school. When he went for his intake appointment at Bridge on Friday, he wouldn't talk to the program head, social worker or psychologist. He has also shut down anytime we've tried to bring up the tolpic of school this weekend. His psychiatrist increased his Seroquel dose to 800 mg to relieve some of the anxiety.

    I have to say there’s a tinge of sadness mixed in with the relief I feel in having J in the Bridge Program. I expect many of you can relate. I would like nothing more than for J to be heading off to our home HS with his buddies from elementary school. But in my heart I know that his needs have been underserved for many years, and this is where he needs to be right now.
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Congratulations!! It is a shame that a Special Education attny had to be brought in, but it's amazing how effective it can be with the sd for a parent to even mention an attny. I hope this program gives J all the support and help he needs and that you both have a great school year ahead!
  3. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom


    Excellent. So glad that your team and the school team are all on the same page in terms of what J needs.

    I know how bittersweet it is. You are so relieved to get the services that J needs but you wish he didn't need them. I'm with you on that deeper feeling of sadness. In the meantime, celebrate the victory.

    Warrior mom's rock!!!!!!
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so happy for you that you are getting the services that your son needs. I do understand that underlying sadness though. I hope J shines.
  5. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    I am glad J will be getting the services he needs. That should hopefully give him a chance to succeed, which our kids need so badly. Good luck. I do understand the underlying sadness, as it solidifies that there is a difference in him. Hugs.
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so very very thrilled that you got the appropriate placement for J. I understand that bittersweet feeling. We all want our kids to have the experience with all their buddies in the "regular" high school. None of us want our kids to need different placements. But finding that "just right" placement is amazing!

    to be honest, I am jealous - I know my SD doesn't have anything NEAR that, and I doubt one exists in my entire state.

    I think it is almost criminal that you have had to fight as hard as you ahve for as long as you have to get this placement. And to get his FIRST IEP. They should have given him supports years ago.

    I wish a sp ed atty was not needed, nor the psychiatrist needed. Sorry you had the "choreographed" feeling, I know it well.

    I hope he enjoys his new school and opens up to the staff and kids there - and that he has FUN and learns what he needs to know to be a successful adult.

    Hugs and congratulations!
  7. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member


    So sorry about the bittersweet feeling. I know how you feel in a sense ... It would be nice for difficult child to continue on at easy child's school, but there's just no way. This will be his last yr there.

    I am sending wishes for a wonderful school yr. :)
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    Time to celebrate! I am so glad J will finally get the right help! Hugs, ML
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I, too, understand that bittersweet feeling, but focus on the positive. Its finally happening the way it probably should have been for some time!

  10. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    How bittersweet. I bet J wants to be with his friends at the home high school as well, and probably feels like the 'odd man out'. But, he will make new friends, and he should be more at ease.

    I suspect that you are right that they have these meeting orchestrated. Their jobs are to live within their budgets, and the budget for J is the same as the budget for any kid in the regular home high school. They get an overall amount with special Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)'s figured into a part of the whole, and honestly if a parent wants to not fight tooth and nail instead of what you did, they don't care if your kid falls through the cracks.

    You've done a wonderful job of getting what was needed and deserved for J. I'm really proud of you.
    Last edited: Sep 1, 2008
  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Way To Go Warrior Mom:bravo::warrior:

    It shouldn't take so much to get our difficult children the help the deserve. I can totally relate to that bittersweet feeling. Gentle hugs and good job!
  12. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Glad to hear that the meeting went well and you have found a program that will help your son. I hope that the transition goes smoothly and relieves some of difficult child's anxiety. Congratulation on being a warrior parent! Hang on to the sped. attorney's number because you want to be sure that you agree with the iep goals and the way they are carried out at the new school as well.
    Good Luck!
  13. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Bittersweet need not be bad.

    Here is hoping that it is more like semi-sweet.
  14. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I am so pleased you were able to get the program you wanted. :bravo::bravo:Fingers crossed that he has a good start to a new school year !! I understand your bittersweet feeling.....hopefully this supportive environment will be what he needs so that he can better navigate the educational setting...I know you will keep us updated....
  15. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    That's great news! I hope he settles in o.k. with the new environment and that it provides him exactly the type of supports he needs to succeed. You must feel a sense of relief! I know I would.
  16. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    That is AWESOME! I hope he settles in and starts having a wonderful educational experience. Way To Go
  17. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Very good news, Smallworld. :)
  18. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Great news!!!! It's about time the school district stepped up to the plate and J began receiving the services he needs.

    I totally understand the bittersweet sentiment. I hope he was able to sleep last night and this morning goes smoothly.

  19. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Way To Go Smallworld!!! Your son has quite an advocate in you & husband!!!

    You rock!