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<blockquote data-quote="TerryJ2" data-source="post: 68318" data-attributes="member: 3419"><p>Our son has a lot of similarities to yours. He is 10 now. For yrs, people thought I was exaggerating, told me "He's ALL boy." </p><p>When we put him in Time Out, he'd destroy his room just as you described. We reversed the doorknob so the lock faced outward. Sounds awful but it was safer for him. I'd always unlock it at night after he fell asleep. Right now he only has a mattress and bookcase in his room. (Oh, and by age 8 he figured out how to disassemble the lock mechanism so we had to come up with-another strategy to keep him in his room. I can explain it if you're interested.)</p><p></p><p>I had my difficult child tested for Asperger's, a form of autism, because of lack of eye contact, insistence on exact quotations in speaking and time, strict adherance to routine, and lack of creative thought. We took him to a neurpsych., who said all he saw was ADHD and other issues that must be handled in counseling.</p><p>Same thing with-the speech path that he referred us to.</p><p>The speech path did caution, however, that he only tests for glaring deficits, and if there is anything subtle going on, we'd have to figure that out some other way.</p><p>Our difficult child falls through the cracks when it comes to diagnosis.</p><p></p><p>He, like your son, has overstimulation triggers with-video games. It has to do with-the speed of movement and how it is processed through his eyes to his brain. </p><p>I have learned to hate PS2 and any and all computer games. Unfortunately, he cannot judge for himself when he is overstimulated ... he just continues on until he has a meltdown, which is why we ban most computer stuff.</p><p>He is highly allergic to wheat, which gives him ADHD symptoms. That in turn creates ODD. He's stubborn anyway (I've met his bparents and there's a definite genetic component there) but he's unbelievably defiant. </p><p>He's also allergic to red and yellow dyes and milk. We're still doing some food elimiations and it's time consuming.</p><p></p><p>Still, 99% of his acting out is at home, just as you describe.</p><p></p><p>I would wait on the medications, since you seem to be doing so well. Your difficult child is older now, and as you go through the diagnosis with-diff doctors, you may come up with-other ideas. And this way, when he rages, you'll have a much better idea of the cause, since you will have ruled out medications.</p><p></p><p>by the way, everyone is different, but our son's rages have improved immensely since he's been on Adderal. When he's off of it for a cpl days, it's like every little thing makes him angry. Especially me! He hears my voice and he whips around and immediately yells, "I KNOW! Quit bugging me!" 20 min. later, the medications kick in, he apologizes, and things calm down.</p><p></p><p>I definitely recommend The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Most everyone here has had good luck with-it. The key is to figure out exactly what your difficult child's triggers are, and work with-them. What we did was deliberately recreate some of the triggers, such as unpredictability, and deliberately cause a meltdown, and he learned over the months and yrs that 1st of all, he's not in charge of our lives and schedules, and 2nd, since he can't control us, he'll have to control himself. (I can look up my old notes if you want to know more about that, too.)</p><p></p><p>I also bought The Out of Sync Child, which I recommend. It may help you, too, since your son may have sensory issues.</p><p></p><p>It's still possible that my son is bipolar, but it's pretty mild compared to others I've seen. </p><p></p><p>He's been tested as Learning Disability (LD) but is catching up (there are diff types and his is nothing permanent ... he's just very slow in sequencing, fine motor control, some cognition issues, and emotional development). Those test results helped a lot. Knowing he was developmentally behind made me more patient and taught me that he was not always deliberately digging in his heels; sometimes he just fell apart because he was overwhelmed.</p><p></p><p>We have made a lot of progress, despite the fact he's neither "here" nor "there," so we just work with-what we have.</p><p>Compared to 6 mo's ago, things are much better.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TerryJ2, post: 68318, member: 3419"] Our son has a lot of similarities to yours. He is 10 now. For yrs, people thought I was exaggerating, told me "He's ALL boy." When we put him in Time Out, he'd destroy his room just as you described. We reversed the doorknob so the lock faced outward. Sounds awful but it was safer for him. I'd always unlock it at night after he fell asleep. Right now he only has a mattress and bookcase in his room. (Oh, and by age 8 he figured out how to disassemble the lock mechanism so we had to come up with-another strategy to keep him in his room. I can explain it if you're interested.) I had my difficult child tested for Asperger's, a form of autism, because of lack of eye contact, insistence on exact quotations in speaking and time, strict adherance to routine, and lack of creative thought. We took him to a neurpsych., who said all he saw was ADHD and other issues that must be handled in counseling. Same thing with-the speech path that he referred us to. The speech path did caution, however, that he only tests for glaring deficits, and if there is anything subtle going on, we'd have to figure that out some other way. Our difficult child falls through the cracks when it comes to diagnosis. He, like your son, has overstimulation triggers with-video games. It has to do with-the speed of movement and how it is processed through his eyes to his brain. I have learned to hate PS2 and any and all computer games. Unfortunately, he cannot judge for himself when he is overstimulated ... he just continues on until he has a meltdown, which is why we ban most computer stuff. He is highly allergic to wheat, which gives him ADHD symptoms. That in turn creates ODD. He's stubborn anyway (I've met his bparents and there's a definite genetic component there) but he's unbelievably defiant. He's also allergic to red and yellow dyes and milk. We're still doing some food elimiations and it's time consuming. Still, 99% of his acting out is at home, just as you describe. I would wait on the medications, since you seem to be doing so well. Your difficult child is older now, and as you go through the diagnosis with-diff doctors, you may come up with-other ideas. And this way, when he rages, you'll have a much better idea of the cause, since you will have ruled out medications. by the way, everyone is different, but our son's rages have improved immensely since he's been on Adderal. When he's off of it for a cpl days, it's like every little thing makes him angry. Especially me! He hears my voice and he whips around and immediately yells, "I KNOW! Quit bugging me!" 20 min. later, the medications kick in, he apologizes, and things calm down. I definitely recommend The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. Most everyone here has had good luck with-it. The key is to figure out exactly what your difficult child's triggers are, and work with-them. What we did was deliberately recreate some of the triggers, such as unpredictability, and deliberately cause a meltdown, and he learned over the months and yrs that 1st of all, he's not in charge of our lives and schedules, and 2nd, since he can't control us, he'll have to control himself. (I can look up my old notes if you want to know more about that, too.) I also bought The Out of Sync Child, which I recommend. It may help you, too, since your son may have sensory issues. It's still possible that my son is bipolar, but it's pretty mild compared to others I've seen. He's been tested as Learning Disability (LD) but is catching up (there are diff types and his is nothing permanent ... he's just very slow in sequencing, fine motor control, some cognition issues, and emotional development). Those test results helped a lot. Knowing he was developmentally behind made me more patient and taught me that he was not always deliberately digging in his heels; sometimes he just fell apart because he was overwhelmed. We have made a lot of progress, despite the fact he's neither "here" nor "there," so we just work with-what we have. Compared to 6 mo's ago, things are much better. [/QUOTE]
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