We found a new psychiatrist!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by TerryJ2, May 2, 2010.

  1. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I booked an appointment with-a local psychiatrist for difficult child, just to shake things up a bit and get a 2nd opinion. I'm sick of being on 2-mo waiting lists for 5 mo's and just booked with-someone in a practice where I had already met a cpl people. I can't tell if there's a mood disorder on top of the Asperger's, or a medication issue or what, but I've never been thrilled with-the psychiatric we've had.
    This guy is awesome. He's young, black, into hip hop, has lots of experience with-drug abuse, and cuts to the chase in a split second. He is very in-your-face in a nice way. We accomplished more in 45 min. with-him than we have with-the other psychiatric in 6 mo's.
    I'm calling the ofc tomorrow and having difficult child's records moved.
    New psychiatric wants to take difficult child off of Adderall and put him on an alternative that won't give difficult child the rebound effect he's getting. (A cpl people here suggested that, too, a mo ago, at least.)
    He also suggested that difficult child has been in precocious puberty (hope I got that right) iow, that he is an early bloomer, since he started sporting a mustache at age 9 :laugh:, and the pediatrician wasn't alarmed because difficult child was still in that window of 9-15, but didn't take into consideration the mood effects. So I'm going to try to get an endocrine workup.
    That will help us determine which way to go with-the moods and medications.

    He asked a lot of pointed, personal questions and I thought difficult child would die on the spot, but it really cut through a lot of garbage, and as I said, moved us ahead. I felt like we were on a plateau, in regard to therapy and medications.
    I don't know if any of this will work, but it feels good to at least be doing something!

    This has been the most awful 2 wks of my life ... financial issues with-our broker, issues with-my 81-yr-old cousin, P, our hot water heater went out, I thought fios would be a good idea, so Verizon started the work, dug a trench, installed wires, and cut out lines. Zip. No phone, no computer for 10 days. I'm on husband's ofc computer.
    Cust svc was rude (I am going to file a complaint)
    Oh, speaking of which, P's ins in NY was still in effect and it was conflicting with-Medicare. They sent me a ltr in Jan that said she'd been disenrolled and they never actually did it. Then they told me they couldn't find my POA. Then they found it but it wasn't stapled to the disenr. form. Then they said the 60-day window had closed and they needed me to write a ltr.
    I filed an online complaint with-the State of NY Ins Dept.

    P's pain mgmt dr refused to see her because her ID was too old! So we went shopping. ALL day. Arg. She picked out tons of panties, and one partic nice pr of lace from Macy's. She then dumped the bag on her bed and offered one of the nurses her pick. Of course the nurse picked the expensive pr. Now P wants to go shopping and have me take time out to get her more for herself ...
    I don't THINK so!

    difficult child has been obnoxious and is flunking. I mean, this is it, folks. He's flunking 3 out of 4 classes and he doesn't understand that he can't turn in a 3-wk project late, which he just did, and start it after it's due. He's driving me nuts. His voice is so loud, and I know some of that is the autism, but all the antidepressants and/or wine in the world just can't seem to calm me down when he's screaming at me. Of course, it only lasts a few min, and he's fine. But I'm not. I'm learning to walk away, literally, out of the house, and come back in 15 min and that helps a lot.

    Meanwhile, he has to use my computer because he wrecked the pins on his plug by shoving it too hard, which means I have to sit there with-him because he cannot be alone in my ofc ...

    So I sure hope this new psychiatric works a miracle. He is avail every other Sat, which is very unusual and helpful. :D Gosh, psychiatric in the a.m. and baseball in the afternoon. What more could you want?

  2. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    wow--sounds like you found a keeper!
    can you clone him and send him my way???
    i'd LOVE to find someone who will cut to the chase....i'm no longer feeling the love for my "go slow" psychiatrist....now i'm just feeling the pain ;).
    we've accomplished virtually nothing...other than to assume abilify is the answer to all prayers, since he just stays the course with it.

    sorry for the rest of the bs in your life...i feel for you. my ignitor went in my heater the other day, and the washer is on the fritz---
    if its not one thing, its another!
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Confuzzled, your life sounds scarily like mine. Gulp.
    I am going home to call the doctor this a.m. and get things in order. (I'm on my husband's ofc computer and am in their way!)
  4. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It sounds like you have found a psychiatrist who is willing to look at the entire picture, not just part of it. I hope the doctor can help.

    Wow. A mustache at 9?? I can sure see how that can lead to problems. Not so much because the facial hair, but because the other problems of puberty. ESP the moods. Jeepers, I thought living with a preteen with-PMS was bad. Guys moods are not as predictable from what I have seen. His other docs didn't even address it? I know we have friends who's daughter developed earlier than even Jess and they had to watch for quite a few problems. That could be a big part of some of his problems.

    As for P, why is she giving away underwear? Are the nurses ALLOWED to take gifts like that? I would ask the administrator, because that is a slippery slope. Way back when my Gma I was in a retirement center she was NOT allowed to give gifts to the staff except at Christmas. The thought behind it was that they didn't want staff to be able to ask for things, or demand gifts in return for better (or any level) care. Staff who accepted gifts were to give them back if they were from a patient with a documented problem with this, or they were fired. Every once in a while a resident would be unable to understand that staff was not allowed to accept gifts and would insist on giving them over and over. Rather than constantly argue, a box would be placed in the office for these items. every month or so they would be placed back in the resident's room, or if they were valuable they would be put into a safe and then be given to the family. The gifts would be documented by the recipient and a supervisor when placed in the office, and also in the patient's chart. Return of the items was also carefully documented.

    I am sure P was trying to be nice, but it is something that you should probably work to try to stop. It can get very expensive. It can also end up with staff members who do NOT get gifts feeling slighted or hurt and possibly not giving the same quality care to P or even soliciting/demanding gifts from her. NOT a good situation, even if it IS P's $$.
  5. LostMama

    LostMama Guest

    That sounds wonderful about the new doctor. I kind of feel like our psychiatrist is all about the medications and not about the underlying person who is screaming for help. So then I look to the psychologist and things aren't exactly moving anywhere with her either.

    And I can relate to all the problems. In the course of a week, my easy child became highly unstable even after reloading everything to factory settings, the kids broke the screen on my laptop which was my back up, we had plumbing issues, a flat tire, the fridge in my studio died and leaked all over the floor, & our difficult child was having huge issues. Calgon, take me away!
  6. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Hey Terry, I hope this new psychiatrist works out. Sure sounds good.

    FWIW, both my husband and difficult child will get loud voices when they are mood cycling, so it could be a mood thing or autism thing. I think it would be hard to piece it apart. I hope life gives you a break before you break!
  7. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    A quality psychiatrist can make all the difference. I'm thrilled for you and hope this turns out to be a keeper for your family. DDD
  8. ML

    ML Guest

    This is great news. I'm glad to hear this.
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Glad to hear you found a new psychiatrist-I hope other things start turning around for the better. Hugs.
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Susiestar, great idea about a box for gifts to be given over and over. I wonder if P would remember she gave that exact pr? It is very expensive. I don't mind when she buys boxes of chocolates especially for the staff, but when she gave away most of her Easter basket, I was miffed. Next yr, no Godiva, just cheap stuff. :(

    Lostmama, that really sounds like my house! How did you live through it! Arg. The more "stuff" we have, the more stuff that breaks.

    Crazymama, I didn't know that. I thought the loud voice was always due to autism. Sheesh. Just when I think I know it all. (NOT!)

    Thanks, Ddd, ml and wiped out. We're on our way to therapy right now ...
  11. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Terry, have you discussed the gifts with whomever is in authority at the home? If P is giving a lot of gifts to the staff she may feel that the staff will be "mean" to her if she doesn't, or that she won't get what she is supposed to get. She may even think that she is supposed to give regular gifts to the staff. As she is giving away what seems like a fair amount of stuff, with a pricetag that is nothing to sneeze at (Godiva sure isn't cheap!! Neither are nice undies.), the total of these gifts could put a real crimp in her budget, esp if it continues for months or years. It may be time for YOU to step in and insist that NO gifts be accepted by the staff. If P cannot comprehend that she is not to give gifts then a box would be a good idea. IF the staff will follow through.

    I guess it concerns me because I spent a lot of time in my Gma's retirement home and know how expensive things are. I wouldn't want it to cause a real hardship for her down the road. Or want her to feel that she will not be well cared for if she does not give these gifts. It seems to be a somewhat common motive behind gifts in nursing homes and retirement centers, because I have had several friends have to fight this with elderly relatives. Sadly a couple of them truly had their relatives hurt or neglected by staff when the gifts were stopped. I don't want the staff to "expect" or demand these from P and her end up in a tricky situation.
  12. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I wonder if the staff is accepting the gifts to be gracious, then sneaking it back into patients' belongings. Really, I can't imagine accepting underwear from someone under circumstances like that.
  14. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Me, either. I'll check on it today.


    difficult child has been a pain lately. No improvement there ... I pick up a new medication today.
  15. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Terry, I'm not anti-medication- Lord knows my difficult child trialed enough- but don't expect them to be a magic bullet. Even medications plus behavior mod doesn't always get to the root of the problem, at least in our experience. Good luck!
  16. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    We used the first dose of Concerta today. Can't see a huge change from Adderall, but he's relatively calm since it's a weekend and he's not stressed out.