TerryJ2
Well-Known Member
He was extremely agitated yesterday when I picked him up, didn't even want to show me his new video game he had spent a week creating ... then he demanded that he go home and game immediately. I told him no, he's got other things to do and remember, I told you things were going to change. One of those changes is no gaming, and total control of your movements. You owe us a lot of money and have to get working on it. You've had a whole week to game. Now that I think about it, I could have phrased it differently, considering how black and white his thinking is.
We got out into the pkng lot and he was practically turning purple.
He started to yell, and it turned into a very public, "I HATE YOU AND YOU HATE ME AND YOU AREN'T EVEN MY REAL MOTHER AND I CAME OUT OF R'S STOMACH AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND A THING ABOUT ME AND JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THE CAR, AND NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP AND I DON'T CARE WHO'S LISTENING, and EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE DAD DOES EVERYTHING YOU WANT HIM TO..."
I was in tears, he was bright red, and I noticed a woman standing in front of my car (I had the AC going but wouldn't sit down with-difficult child until he calmed down because I can't drive under those emotional conditions). I walked over to her. She had tears in her eyes and I saw her son standing by their car a few pkng spaces away. She said, "I have a sister just like you and I saw so much of her in you and I just wanted to see if you needed anything."
OMG, what an angel. I asked for a bit of info and she said the boy is 21 now, and she asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. I said I'd love to, but, "He's in the car ..." and as I turned to gesture toward difficult child, a police car drove up. She said her name was Annette and she hugged me. Frankly, if it hadn't been for her, I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown.
The campus police ofc pulled up behind my car (I didn't realize it until now, but he blocked me in ... very clever). He said that people at the other end of the pkng lot had said there was a fight going on. I told him that I'd just picked up my son from camp and he'd been gaming all wk and I told him he couldn't game at home and now he hates me. I told him I wanted to go home but I didn't think it was safe to drive in that position. He asked if he should talk to him and what he should say and I said, "Yes, say something about how we're out in public and he's got to calm down."
He knocked on the door and when difficult child opened the passenger side, I noticed that the officer had a gun. I guess I didn't realize that campus police carried guns. I thought they just carried walkie-talkies.
So he said he had 5 boys and he'd been through this and difficult child needed to calm down, and that sure, men and women, and especially guys and their moms don't always think alike, but you have to show respect. And people were complaining about the arguing and he's out in public and has got to stop it.
difficult child never said a word, but he listened, and his face was totally contorted in agitation and rage.
I finally got back in the car and we didn't even get out of the pkng lot when difficult child started up again. It turned out that his girlfriend, N, has limited min. on her phone, but online gaming gives her unlimited min. and it was she difficult child really wanted to talk to.
Sigh.
I pulled over again 1/2 blk away, and then drove around the block 3X because I couldn't remember where to go. I just put my head on the steering wheel at a red light. difficult child offered his gps but we had to sign up for it and put it on a credit card, and just then, I noticed a fwy sign.
After he got it all out of his system, he was personable, told me he was texting some girls he'd met at camp, and that he'd hardly slept (the mattress was uncomfortable) or eaten (the food was awful) and he was very tired. "And I've never transistioned well, coming home from camp, anyway," he added.
Ya think?
When we got home, I made him wait until we went upstairs together, and then I showed him that we'd removed his door because he'd still been taking things and he needed to earn back our trust, and that I'd cleaned his room.
He wanted a computer and I said he could earn it to play the game he created, if he swept and cleaned one corner of the room. He started to have a fit so I just walked away but in a few min, he had the dustpan and small broom in his hand and was in the corner.
I went out with-some friends for their bdays last night, which helped, and when I got home, husband was sitting in the kitchen by himself and difficult child was upstairs by himself and husband said difficult child was not talking but he wasn't arguing, either.
I slept and slept but I still feel like a wet rag today.
Annette, whoever you are, THANK YOU!
We got out into the pkng lot and he was practically turning purple.
He started to yell, and it turned into a very public, "I HATE YOU AND YOU HATE ME AND YOU AREN'T EVEN MY REAL MOTHER AND I CAME OUT OF R'S STOMACH AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND A THING ABOUT ME AND JUST SHUT UP AND GET IN THE CAR, AND NO I WILL NOT SHUT UP AND I DON'T CARE WHO'S LISTENING, and EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE DAD DOES EVERYTHING YOU WANT HIM TO..."
I was in tears, he was bright red, and I noticed a woman standing in front of my car (I had the AC going but wouldn't sit down with-difficult child until he calmed down because I can't drive under those emotional conditions). I walked over to her. She had tears in her eyes and I saw her son standing by their car a few pkng spaces away. She said, "I have a sister just like you and I saw so much of her in you and I just wanted to see if you needed anything."
OMG, what an angel. I asked for a bit of info and she said the boy is 21 now, and she asked if I wanted to go out for coffee. I said I'd love to, but, "He's in the car ..." and as I turned to gesture toward difficult child, a police car drove up. She said her name was Annette and she hugged me. Frankly, if it hadn't been for her, I think I'd have had a nervous breakdown.
The campus police ofc pulled up behind my car (I didn't realize it until now, but he blocked me in ... very clever). He said that people at the other end of the pkng lot had said there was a fight going on. I told him that I'd just picked up my son from camp and he'd been gaming all wk and I told him he couldn't game at home and now he hates me. I told him I wanted to go home but I didn't think it was safe to drive in that position. He asked if he should talk to him and what he should say and I said, "Yes, say something about how we're out in public and he's got to calm down."
He knocked on the door and when difficult child opened the passenger side, I noticed that the officer had a gun. I guess I didn't realize that campus police carried guns. I thought they just carried walkie-talkies.
So he said he had 5 boys and he'd been through this and difficult child needed to calm down, and that sure, men and women, and especially guys and their moms don't always think alike, but you have to show respect. And people were complaining about the arguing and he's out in public and has got to stop it.
difficult child never said a word, but he listened, and his face was totally contorted in agitation and rage.
I finally got back in the car and we didn't even get out of the pkng lot when difficult child started up again. It turned out that his girlfriend, N, has limited min. on her phone, but online gaming gives her unlimited min. and it was she difficult child really wanted to talk to.
Sigh.
I pulled over again 1/2 blk away, and then drove around the block 3X because I couldn't remember where to go. I just put my head on the steering wheel at a red light. difficult child offered his gps but we had to sign up for it and put it on a credit card, and just then, I noticed a fwy sign.
After he got it all out of his system, he was personable, told me he was texting some girls he'd met at camp, and that he'd hardly slept (the mattress was uncomfortable) or eaten (the food was awful) and he was very tired. "And I've never transistioned well, coming home from camp, anyway," he added.
Ya think?
When we got home, I made him wait until we went upstairs together, and then I showed him that we'd removed his door because he'd still been taking things and he needed to earn back our trust, and that I'd cleaned his room.
He wanted a computer and I said he could earn it to play the game he created, if he swept and cleaned one corner of the room. He started to have a fit so I just walked away but in a few min, he had the dustpan and small broom in his hand and was in the corner.
I went out with-some friends for their bdays last night, which helped, and when I got home, husband was sitting in the kitchen by himself and difficult child was upstairs by himself and husband said difficult child was not talking but he wasn't arguing, either.
I slept and slept but I still feel like a wet rag today.
Annette, whoever you are, THANK YOU!
He said that the crime was not committed in our jurisdiction. YES it was! It happened in her house. She pawned it in another jurisdiction.
