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We need an exorcism
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 681388" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>This is the biggest single problem I see in this picture. SS10 got what he wanted, when he wanted it. And these are WANTS not NEEDS.</p><p>I don't get it either that your hubby doesn't put 2 and 2 together?</p><p> </p><p>As far as not going on a sleep-over "because he owes his dad a night of going to bed early"... I don't really get either side of this. I'm guessing that your hubby is a big supporter of the "punishment" side of child rearing. And for challenging kids, generally, punishment doesn't work. Especially if THE KID sees it as random (as adults, we don't necessarily think the way our kids do). Consequences do need to be logical. <em>And IMMEDIATE</em>. Delayed consequences become random by nature of the delay, <em>no matter how much explaining we do</em>. We also found that denying social opportunity was always a bad thing to do - our kids need it - unless the problem behavior was in a social setting. Steal from somebody while on a sleep-over, and you may not be going on a sleep-over for a while.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 681388, member: 11791"] This is the biggest single problem I see in this picture. SS10 got what he wanted, when he wanted it. And these are WANTS not NEEDS. I don't get it either that your hubby doesn't put 2 and 2 together? As far as not going on a sleep-over "because he owes his dad a night of going to bed early"... I don't really get either side of this. I'm guessing that your hubby is a big supporter of the "punishment" side of child rearing. And for challenging kids, generally, punishment doesn't work. Especially if THE KID sees it as random (as adults, we don't necessarily think the way our kids do). Consequences do need to be logical. [I]And IMMEDIATE[/I]. Delayed consequences become random by nature of the delay, [I]no matter how much explaining we do[/I]. We also found that denying social opportunity was always a bad thing to do - our kids need it - unless the problem behavior was in a social setting. Steal from somebody while on a sleep-over, and you may not be going on a sleep-over for a while. [/QUOTE]
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We need an exorcism
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