We were surprised

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Wiped Out, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    when we went to the psychiatric hospital today for our meeting. Only my therapist, the social worker, and husband & I were there. We thought the psychiatrist was going to be there too.

    Anyways we were surprised because the sw started talking about how the psychiatrist had foreshadowed discharging him soon. No she didn't foreshadow that with us.

    They wanted us to take him home on a pass tonight and take him to a 1/2 day of school tomorrow and then bring him back. I think then they wanted us to take him home that night or the next day.

    husband was good. He said that we couldn't just bring him tonight without prepping easy child and the teachers. He said Wednesday afternoon and Wednesday night would be better. They wanted us to do Tuesday night but my therapist held out for Wednesday too (she wanted me to go to my book club-I think she wanted me to have another night of rest).

    So the plan is picking him up at noon on Wed., bringing him home Wed. night and then if it goes o.k. he'll stay at home.

    The insurance is pushing for him to be released because he isn't showing any violence in the hospital. They know this isn't unusual.

    We are disappointed this time around. The only thing they did with medications was move around a bit of the timing of the medications and added .05 Clonidine at 4:00.

    The good thing is they do think we will qualify for this program which will provide more services including wrap around. However, it only lasts for 6 months and can only be accessed once during their entire childhood.

    Please keep a good thought that difficult child truly is ready to come home. It isn't that I don't want him home-it's that I'm not ready for more violence.
  2. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Sharon, I'm glad t dr helped encourage more prep time for all of difficult child's supports and family. (another good night of sleep is a good thing)

    It's unfortunate that there is such a rush to push kids out of the hospital by insurance companies. I hope that difficult child is stable and violence is no longer an issue.
    Yay! for husband for standing his ground.
  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    How frustrating - here you're regular psychiatrist is saying one thing - the hospital psychiatrists are being pushed to do another. In the meantime, our little wonders don't help by honeymooning the way they do.

    In the meantime, the hospital personnel is listening to administration, who are listening to insurance companies.

    I've complained to phospitals, RTCs, short term facilities that these kids aren't living in the real world. Structured setting does not mean being entertained 100% of the time.

    I believe, in many ways, there was/is no way we could've competed with Residential Treatment Center (RTC) & be a successful family. These children were given no downtime. None. And there isn't enough staffing in the home to maintain that level of activity. That level of discipline or one on ones. Just not the real world.

    I wish, just a little, that your difficult child was a bit like wm. He never honeymooned & kept staff on their toes all the time. Hence a 7 week hospitalization until a bed in Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was found. The same with the transition from Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to group home. There is something to be said for wm's level when you're looking for help.

    Gentle (((hugs))) this morning.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    I have to say that this is a dissapointment. One little change in medications does not make a cure! Are they blind or just stupid (oh right, the almighty dollar, not the childh's health is running this show)? Glad husband stuck to his guns, but that doesn't mean that an extra day or two is going to make a real difference in the long run. Wonder why psychiatrist wasn't there? Hmmmm........

    Sounds like your hands are tied and can do nothing else but bring your boy home. I guess the positive in this situation is the qualifying for services.

  5. SearchingForRainbows

    SearchingForRainbows Active Member


    Like the others have already said, it's the dollar vs. necessary treatment and the dollar wins EVERY time:furious:. I understand your frustration. It is so sad that insurance companies dictate how much or how little care our difficult children receive. I wish EVERY single person who is involved in insurance making policies had to walk in our shoes for at least one week!!!

    I'm praying and keeping all body parts crossed that your difficult child is honestly ready to come home. WFEN
  6. Steely

    Steely Active Member


    What happened to starting the new Alzheimers medication?

    So sorry.
  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thanks everyone. It is so frustrating. I picked difficult child up to go out to dinner tonight. I foreshadowed what would happen and he said he didn't want to come home yet. Said he was just getting the hang of the hospital. I told him it wasn't a choice it just was going to happen. He asked if it was the psychiatrist's decision. When I said yes, he started talking about how he was going to slap her and started punching the seats of the car (better than punching me). I was able to easily redirect him.

    We had gone about three miles when they called to say they hadn't given difficult child his medications so we had to turn around (never mind I asked before we left if he had been given them and they said yes). difficult child started swearing and was super angry, told me he was going to beat them up. Again, it was easy to redirect him.

    We had a nice dinner. Tomorrow husband will pick him up in the afternoon for school and we will have our first night at home.

    I really appreciate your support.

    Steely-I have no idea what happened to the Alzheimer's medication she talked about?
  8. jannie

    jannie trying to survive....

    I'm sorry it's ending so soon. Perhaps you shouldn't let them know it was easy to redirect him. What did they say when you told him that he was punching, threatening, swearing and super angry?? I understand that he had not yet had his medications....but he does not yet sound stable !! Does he go home tomorrow for good?

    However, the good news is that he will most likely be qualifying for more services !! I'm glad dinner went well. I hope you enjoyed book club !! (What book did you read?) I hope you've had some time to recharge !!
    Sending hugs !!