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Weary mom has had enough
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 626517" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome. Seems an irony that your first post is on Mothers day. I'm sorry you have gone through so much with your daughter. You will find you are not alone, many of us here have very similar stories. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post, it's helpful.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That is the answer of many of us. They don't generally change, but we can. We can seek professional help to learn to detach and accept what we can't change and as a result of that acceptance, we can lead normal, happy lives. </p><p></p><p>The first thing most of us learn to do is to stop the money going to them from us. Get those boundaries set up quickly. It appears you are doing that. </p><p></p><p>Seek support in as many venues as you can. NAMI, is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can access them online, they have chapters everywhere and are a terrific source of support for US. They offer parent groups which are very, very good.</p><p></p><p>Families anonymous is also a very good source of support for parents.</p><p></p><p>Setting boundaries around their negative behavior gets us out of being held hostage by their choices. It is a hard road, but for many of us, it becomes absolutely necessary. </p><p></p><p>You may want to read some of our stories here.........you may want to read the thread on acceptance that ECHO began, it has good information in it.</p><p></p><p>It takes time to learn how to detach, to let go of our anger, our resentment, our guilt, our expectations, our fear, our sorrow, our losses.............it's a challenging experience for all of us and takes us to the brink of our coping skill. However, you CAN change and learn to take steps back, to not go down every rabbit hole our kids jump into. It takes time, it takes a strong commitment, but it's doable.</p><p></p><p>You're not alone. It helps to post here and get your story heard and acknowledged by those of us who've been in your shoes. Stay the course and keep posting. Wishing you peace on this journey.............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 626517, member: 13542"] Welcome. Seems an irony that your first post is on Mothers day. I'm sorry you have gone through so much with your daughter. You will find you are not alone, many of us here have very similar stories. You may want to read the article on detachment at the bottom of my post, it's helpful. That is the answer of many of us. They don't generally change, but we can. We can seek professional help to learn to detach and accept what we can't change and as a result of that acceptance, we can lead normal, happy lives. The first thing most of us learn to do is to stop the money going to them from us. Get those boundaries set up quickly. It appears you are doing that. Seek support in as many venues as you can. NAMI, is the National Alliance on Mental Illness, you can access them online, they have chapters everywhere and are a terrific source of support for US. They offer parent groups which are very, very good. Families anonymous is also a very good source of support for parents. Setting boundaries around their negative behavior gets us out of being held hostage by their choices. It is a hard road, but for many of us, it becomes absolutely necessary. You may want to read some of our stories here.........you may want to read the thread on acceptance that ECHO began, it has good information in it. It takes time to learn how to detach, to let go of our anger, our resentment, our guilt, our expectations, our fear, our sorrow, our losses.............it's a challenging experience for all of us and takes us to the brink of our coping skill. However, you CAN change and learn to take steps back, to not go down every rabbit hole our kids jump into. It takes time, it takes a strong commitment, but it's doable. You're not alone. It helps to post here and get your story heard and acknowledged by those of us who've been in your shoes. Stay the course and keep posting. Wishing you peace on this journey............. [/QUOTE]
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