Wedding ring - is it just a symbol.....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by timer lady, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    While I was in the hospital in August, I had a surgical procedure; the nurse taped my wedding ring. When I got out of recovery I noticed a diamond had fallen out of my wedding band. After a search it was never found.

    My sister in law took my wedding ring home with her last weekend because her brother is a jeweler & has offered to replace the diamond in my ring & clean it up.

    This is the first time in 19 years that my ring has been off my finger. I'm missing it terribly.

    As my hands have been swollen from the medications, husband & I talked about getting a nice gold chain to hang my rings on when they get back from sister in law.

    Except I'm really missing my ring....husband has offered to go out & buy a band that matches his & is sized correctly until I can get my engagement/wedding rings back on.

    I hate to spend money like this - am I being far too emotional about this?
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think it's great you miss the ring-it's an important symbol to you-nothing wrong with that :flower:
  3. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    I rarely take my wedding ring off and if I do I have a "dent" on my finger and I am very conscious that it is gone. I would have a "spare" band if I were you. Its not really the exact ring, its the naked feeling of it not being there when you have worn one for a period of time. Rarely go to the hospital, but I would leave any jewelry at home for the very reason you stated....they usually want all jewelry off because medications usually make your hands swell and then you can't get them off. Sorry you lost the stone...but get another ring, even just a plain band would get rid of that "naked" feeling....
  4. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member

    I do not think it is silly at all. I also think anything that helps maintain your emotional state is worth it - spend the money.
  5. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Linda ~ I blog a lot. Here is a blog I wrote a couple of years ago about my wedding ring. I too am obviously very attached for the following reasons:

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <span style="color: #000099">I looked down at my wedding ring yesterday to discover the band was broken in half. Promptly took it to the jewelers. They informed me that not only was the band broken, the 4 prongs that hold my diamond in place were GONE! The jeweler was not sure what was keeping my diamond in place (I think it was a combination of lotion, cookie dough and dog hair ... at any rate ...) The estimate to fix it up good as new? $250.00. "Holy Moly" I said. I don't think we paid that much for the ring 22 years ago. But, sentimentality ruled and I said "Fix it".

    So, I began thinking on the drive home. Just as that ring symbolized our union, our faithfulness and commitment to each other almost 22 years ago, so did the wear and tear symbolize something. What was it that actually led the gold to break? Was it some huge catastrophic event? Nope. I did not hit it with a hammer. It was not caught in a vise. I didn't smash it in a door. Nope. It was just the every day nitty gritty wear and tear that wore it too thin. Isn't that so like life? It's the little nit-picky insidious every day sameness that wears on our marriage. Until, if we're not careful ... it's broken. And the prongs? Same with them. Just your every day wear and tear that wore them down to nothing. I began to think about the 4 most important things (like the prongs that held my diamond) in our marriage that keep our vows intact and in place. 1.) Respect. Not just the respect that comes out of my mouth, but keeping my heart respectful ... even when I'm angry or bitter or resentful. Respecting my husband in the deep places that only God and I can see. 2.) Communication. OK I know this is way over stated. Like ad-nauseam overstated. But, it is so true. We need to be real. We need to be vulnerable. We need to talk about the deep places of our hearts. 3.) Time. Oh this one is tough. I don't mean I'm doing dishes, and he's reading the paper kind of time. Co-habitating in the same space kind of time. Nope. I mean time where the only distraction for me is him, and visa-versa. We are falling woefully short in this area. 4.) Physical intimacy. Yes SEX. What a gift lovemaking is. We need to make this a priority.

    So there you have it. My thoughts about my wedding ring. Because, since it has been off my finger, I realize how much I miss it. I feel undressed without it. If it is that much apart of me... if I miss it that much ... I can't even begin to imagine life without marriage. </span> </div></div>
  6. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    If it were me I would want the same ring. If you can't wear it, then put it in a safe place. Someday, you can have a "date" with husband and he can repromise and put it on your finger.

    I wear my original band. On our 20th, husband said we are building on what we started and gave me an engagement ring and an eternity band. I wear them almost all the time.
    My husband has never removed his ring. Not sure if this is sentimental on his part or just obliviousness. I choose to believe it's sentimental. :flower:

    I would be pretty uncomfortable to not have my ring.
  7. ck1

    ck1 New Member

    I would definitely get another band to wear. I haven't been married nearly as long (almost five years) but look at my engagement and wedding rings a million times a day. Especially when I'm not happy with something husband has said or done. Reminds me that he does love me. I know that my rings are just things, but that symoblize his commitment to me (and me to him).

    If I needed a temporary replacement, I would want husband to pick it out himself so it still has some meaning. Hope your feeling back to your old self quickly!
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    $250 dollars over the lifetime of growing to know each other, raising children, animals, putting together a home, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do you part divided by 22 years is roughly $11.36 cents a year
    .21 cents a week

    If you don't believe you have earned .21 a week for a symbol of your undying love? Then just stop wearing it.

    I would get the original one fixed OR melted down into the new one.

    Go ahead YOU'RE worth it!
  9. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I would want one on my finger. If it couldn't be the original then I too would want husband to pick out something. It is a symbol but not "just" a symbol. If it didn't mean something we wouldn't do it. The other thing is and if I step over the line I will run back to the other side but if you believe or go to church you might have your minister bless it for you too. Just a continueing blessing from your original one.

  10. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I appreciate your ideas & input, ladies. husband is leaning toward getting me a new band - nothing huge or expensive (can't afford much), just something to wear until my old rings fit once again after treatment is over.

    I like the idea of having the new ring "blessed" if you will, by our pastor.

    Of all the treatment issues, this has been the most emotionally devastating for me (okay hair loss is getting to me as well, but not like the wedding rings).

    Thanks again, ladies. What a good group of friends.
  11. Just keep swimming

    Just keep swimming New Member


    When I gained all my weight before and after back surgery, husband got me a cool Celtic knotted ring to wear until I can fit back into my wedding rings. Now that I have lost the weight, I find I am still wearing the other ring, it is silver and I am totally into silver now, not the yellow gold that my wedding set is. I have my wedding set locked away and plan on wearing my Celtic knot ring for a while to come.

    I just love it, it looks like it has 4 hearts on top the way the knots are done, symbolizes our 4 kidlets!!

    Anyways, just my 1 cents worth!