Wee difficult child fell apart again. This time at school.

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Shari, Nov 23, 2009.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Our little man is falling apart. Thursday night at special needs pottery, he had an epic meltdown - totally out of his head, fight or flight kinda of thing.

    He was with his sitter and they sent him out of the building, so she had to
    restrain him in the parking lot for a good while before he stopped hitting
    her or trying to run away. Took her about an hour but she was able to
    finally get him in the car and get him home safely (in the meantime, I was
    in Kansas City on the way to the movie premier with the author, fighting traffic trying to talk her thru this *stuff*).

    I have had to be gone a few times for work. Just a couple days here and
    there, but I've been gone overnight. Last week, I was gone Monday and
    Tuesday. SpEd teacher was gone Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Wee difficult child's morning aid went home sick one day. And there was a sub for pottery class, as well, Thursday night. Sped Teacher and his morning aid were gone Friday, as well, so we just kept him home.

    Then today, he went to school and SpEd teacher is gone again. He lost it about 10am and spent the rest of the day in the principal's office. He didn't do anything more than call names and hide under the desk, and they didn't make an issue of it, but this is so out of character for him this year, the principal didn't know what to do with him.

    FWIW, I think the principal did *alright* in his first real test with wee difficult child. He ignored the name calling, attempted redirection (tho too obvious about it) and just went about his day as tho a child under his desk calling him names was status quo...

    The other "oddities" about last week were that his BT broached the subject of bio dad just to "benchmark" where wee difficult child is with the man (thanks to crazy girlfriend for this one) and he told my mom, who thought the therapist was nice, that its what "bad kids have to do".

    I really think this is largely due to a huge disruption in wee difficult child's routine, mostly. All those people gone, which are "key" people to him is a big blow. Course, the only way to test that theory is restore the routine, which won't be possible til next week. I think I will probably keep him home the rest of this week, just in case.

    So much for having nothing to talk about at tomorrow's meeting.
  2. ML

    ML Guest

    ((((((((Shari)))))))))) Hugs to you! Do you think the stress of you being away is what set him off?

    On a positive note, the trip to KC sounds fun.

    Thinking of you. I think keeping him home this week is a good plan. I took the week of with manster for the fall holiday too.
  3. Christy

    Christy New Member

    I'm sure all the changes at once were hard for wee difficult child to handle. It sounds like a good idea to keep him home and start fresh after the holiday.

    Special needs pottery! I have visions of flying dishes, lol. Of course my son is a "bull in the china shop" so to speak so I can't even imagine it.

  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I think keeping him home the rest of the week sounds right too. FWIW, there's a child at Duckie's school that has a PCA, she has always asks me to cover for her so this child can be comfortable with the substitute. Is it possible for Wee to be regularly exposed to an extra staff member that can step in when there are so many absences?
  5. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Disruptions like that would always set of difficult child 3. Poor kid - and tat therapist sounds like a prize idiot. Where did he/she get that weird idea? Been talking to crazy girlfriend?

    Keeping wee difficult child home is the best option, I tihnk. You shouldn't have to - why all these disruptions? And can you arrange with the school to give you a heads up if staff difficult child relies on won't be there?

    A recommendation - make him do schoolwork, don't give him a holiday from it. "School work during school hours" is vital, oterwise he will learn that home is a relief from having to study, and it shouldn't be in this situation. So beg worksheets from the school and then hand them in for him when they're done. Working at home can still be fun for him, but the work needs to get done, he needs to know that schoolwork doesn't magically disappear if you stay home.

  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Poor guy. I think the idea of a regular "extra" is a smart thing. Sort of like when I was nursing my kids. I insisted they get a bottle a couple of times a week, even if it was water or milk I expressed. Just in case something would happen to me I wanted to be sure that they would not have to add hunger onto the other problems.

    I think the principal did great! There are a LOT of principals who would NOT have been willing to do that.

    I don't understand why the bt thought bringing up biodad was an idea during a week this stressful. It won't give an accurate benchmark of anything. Weegfg was simply too upset to give an accurate idea of what he would do/think in a more normal time.

    I cannot fathom how Wiz would have acted with that many changes all at once.

    Was it weegfg who told your mom that seeing a therapist is "what bad kids have to do"? or did the therapist say it to your mom?

    I am sorry he is having such a tough time. Do school work with him, by all means, but also give him some regular snuggles and enjoy him this week!

    Many hugs to both of you!!
  7. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Poor little guy! I agree that he just had too much to deal with all at once. Hope your meeting goes well tomorrow...hugs to you both.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sorry to hear this. I agree the principal did well. Hoping tomorrow's meeting goes well and that Wee difficult child is back on track soon. Hugs.
  9. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Actually you can probably blame me for the therapist asking wee difficult child about bio dad. But that happened very early in the week last week. It was the first time he's seen his BT in about 5 weeks, due to scheduling conflicts, and the last conversation I had with BT was about crazy girlfriend and my position.

    In BT's defense, she wasn't aware of all the changes, and thought it would be good to see where difficult child IS with bio dad given I'm working on the custody change. Timing was not good to bring it up, but she didn't know that. She already said she won't bring it up again for a long while; she saw what she needed. Those are just the other 2 "odd" things that took place last week, and they aren't really odd. Since we are close to bio-dad's family, buio dad isn't a taboo subject. We don't sit around and chatter about him, but we don't hide his existence, either, and his mom will frequently make reference to him having stopped by or something. We treat him as a topic like we would the uncles or aunts - they are out there somewhere doing their thing. And wee difficult child makes relatively frequent comments about being bad. We're working on it, but he says it too often.

    Susie, to clarify, my mom took him to his appointment and she told him afterwards that the BT lady seemed nice. Wee difficult child told my mom that if she wanted to see a nice lady like the BT, she had to be bad - bad kids see BT's.

    I am supposed to go back to OK next week for the testing report, but I think I am going to reschedule that for now. Try to get wee man back on track first.

    Christy, I can so relate. Wee difficult child loves pottery, tho. Absoultely loves it. He ram rods thru that studio, tho, and all I can do is hold my breath. So far, nothing's been broken, but I'm not sure how.

    As always, thanks for the good thoughts. I'll check in after the meeting.
  10. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    That is exactly how my difficult child, who also is 7, would react to so many changes. Has Wee started full day school yet? Did you have the IEP meeting yet to bring him up to full days? I ask because if you have not, that meeting sounds like a good time to formalize some strategies for dealing with absences by sp ed teachers and his aide. My Bug would flip out if his teacher, sp ed teacher, and aide were all away at once. We have never formalized anything with the school regarding sub-aides, but it has somehow turned out that Bug always has the same sub when his aide is out.
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    There's nothing formalized for it, but the SpEd teacher has made sure he always has the same subs hen anyone is gone. As she did this time, but it was just too much.

    Wee difficult child says the SpEd sub wouldn't scribe for him. Sped teacher is going to find out if that's the case.