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Substance Abuse
Weed isn't a drug? Really?
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 729112" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi TinT, so sorry for your need to be here but glad you found us. I am in total agreement where pot is concerned. I do value it’s medicinal use, but like anything else, including alcohol, in the wrong hands it is a <em>nightmare</em>. I am completely convinced that it is more potent than ever, and oft mixed with other more addictive drugs. I don’t believe there is anything as “just pot.” That’s what my daughters said, “ I just smoke weed, Mom.” </p><p>Huh.</p><p>My two started with pot at a young age. We didn’t think at the time it was a factor, but looking back the ah hah moment hit. It completely altered both of my daughters. We thought it was hormones, teen angst, rebellion, it was all of that exacerbated with pot. I don’t think I have really “seen” them since. That was a long time ago. They were on and off track for years and then degenerated to meth use and homelessness, and everything else that comes along with that.</p><p>I too, had younger children living through the craziness of all of this, while my two drifted in and out of our home under the guise of needing help. What that turned out to be was their drama and chaos infiltrating our home. The “help” they wanted was a comfy place to stay while they continued “as is” which translated to <em>using drugs, and using us. </em></p><p>There were grandchildren in the mix and cultural norms that skewed the tough love, detachment approach and it was a long 10 or so years of in and out the revolving door hell before I said <em>enough</em>.</p><p>In between all of that, my dear husband had open heart surgery, recovered, had two life threatening bouts with endocarditis, recovered, then sadly, almost two years ago passed from his third infection.</p><p>Sigh.</p><p>This did not change the course my daughters chose; to make meth their life above and beyond anyone and everything else. </p><p>It all started with pot.</p><p></p><p>This is the hard truth of it. To an addict, we are the <em>problem, and also the solution to their troubles. </em>Not the solution <em>we</em> are hoping for, them to stand by promises to quit, wake up and smell the coffee, tow the line. </p><p>We solve their issue of a roof over their heads, shower, food. My daughters went beyond that and stole from us, their siblings. Brought drug friends into our home while we were working. They felt entitled to live in our home and were defiant and resentful of any expectations. Unacceptable.</p><p>I am glad you are receiving support in your plan to stand firm and give your son an ultimatum. It is really important. For you, your son, his siblings and the sanctity of your home. For your sanity. </p><p>No one deserves to be dragged down the rabbit hole of addiction along with our loved ones. </p><p>Unfortunately, it happens, we love them and they are in trouble. The thing is, addicts are cunning and manipulative and most of us are not equipped to really <em>help</em> them. We are not trained and prepared for what lies down the road of this. Through experience I am quite convinced that the emotional devastation we feel from being on the crazy train with our beloveds is meant to keep us dazed and confused and unable to make good decisions. </p><p>Solution.</p><p> Get tough. </p><p>Stick to your plan. </p><p>Whatever your son chooses, <em>you</em> keep forging ahead to strengthen yourself. Take your life back. Resist any inclination to hold off on living because “how can I live well when my son is out there...........” </p><p>My answer to that is this. </p><p>We are our children’s first mentors. Be the change you wish to see in your son. Model self care and wellness. When we are healthy, we are able to find our way through the muck and mire and establish firm boundaries. </p><p>Keep seeking support. Build your toolbox and be battle ready.</p><p>You are in a good place with your plan. I hope your son will choose getting clean over homelessness. Either way, it is a long road to recovery, yours and his.</p><p>You have come to a good place for understanding and support. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.</p><p>You are not alone.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 729112, member: 19522"] Hi TinT, so sorry for your need to be here but glad you found us. I am in total agreement where pot is concerned. I do value it’s medicinal use, but like anything else, including alcohol, in the wrong hands it is a [I]nightmare[/I]. I am completely convinced that it is more potent than ever, and oft mixed with other more addictive drugs. I don’t believe there is anything as “just pot.” That’s what my daughters said, “ I just smoke weed, Mom.” Huh. My two started with pot at a young age. We didn’t think at the time it was a factor, but looking back the ah hah moment hit. It completely altered both of my daughters. We thought it was hormones, teen angst, rebellion, it was all of that exacerbated with pot. I don’t think I have really “seen” them since. That was a long time ago. They were on and off track for years and then degenerated to meth use and homelessness, and everything else that comes along with that. I too, had younger children living through the craziness of all of this, while my two drifted in and out of our home under the guise of needing help. What that turned out to be was their drama and chaos infiltrating our home. The “help” they wanted was a comfy place to stay while they continued “as is” which translated to [I]using drugs, and using us. [/I] There were grandchildren in the mix and cultural norms that skewed the tough love, detachment approach and it was a long 10 or so years of in and out the revolving door hell before I said [I]enough[/I]. In between all of that, my dear husband had open heart surgery, recovered, had two life threatening bouts with endocarditis, recovered, then sadly, almost two years ago passed from his third infection. Sigh. This did not change the course my daughters chose; to make meth their life above and beyond anyone and everything else. It all started with pot. This is the hard truth of it. To an addict, we are the [I]problem, and also the solution to their troubles. [/I]Not the solution [I]we[/I] are hoping for, them to stand by promises to quit, wake up and smell the coffee, tow the line. We solve their issue of a roof over their heads, shower, food. My daughters went beyond that and stole from us, their siblings. Brought drug friends into our home while we were working. They felt entitled to live in our home and were defiant and resentful of any expectations. Unacceptable. I am glad you are receiving support in your plan to stand firm and give your son an ultimatum. It is really important. For you, your son, his siblings and the sanctity of your home. For your sanity. No one deserves to be dragged down the rabbit hole of addiction along with our loved ones. Unfortunately, it happens, we love them and they are in trouble. The thing is, addicts are cunning and manipulative and most of us are not equipped to really [I]help[/I] them. We are not trained and prepared for what lies down the road of this. Through experience I am quite convinced that the emotional devastation we feel from being on the crazy train with our beloveds is meant to keep us dazed and confused and unable to make good decisions. Solution. Get tough. Stick to your plan. Whatever your son chooses, [I]you[/I] keep forging ahead to strengthen yourself. Take your life back. Resist any inclination to hold off on living because “how can I live well when my son is out there...........” My answer to that is this. We are our children’s first mentors. Be the change you wish to see in your son. Model self care and wellness. When we are healthy, we are able to find our way through the muck and mire and establish firm boundaries. Keep seeking support. Build your toolbox and be battle ready. You are in a good place with your plan. I hope your son will choose getting clean over homelessness. Either way, it is a long road to recovery, yours and his. You have come to a good place for understanding and support. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing. You are not alone. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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