Weight loss surgery


Well-Known Member
An acquaintance was telling me that she knows people who have had gastric bypass surgery and have done extraordinarily well. She tells me that the latest surgery of this kind will never allow you to over eat. I recall meeting a person or two in the past, who had the procedure years ago, who very slowly , but surely, managed to gain weight back (itty bit at a time of overeating). She said the newest procedures don't allow this to happen.

Our Difficult Child is 240 pounds at approx. 5'3". She over-ate from day one, but her bipolar medications seem to have caused bad carb cravings. And, perhaps because she is not well mentally and a variety of other reasons, she doesn't try to curb her eating at all.

I'm worried about her health. Her bio family has a hx of diabetes.

Soooo....do you think one of these gastro surgeries (if she would want one) is do-able? Has anyone done one and wish to talk about it? Or perhaps is very friendly or close with someone who has had one recently and can share any pertinent info?

Many thanks.


Roll With It
I would NOT urge gastro surgery. There isn't a surgery in the world that can curb bad eating habits. A reputable doctor INSISTS on therapy for food abuse issues and overeating for MONTHS as well as months of proving you will stick to a diet before they will even speak of scheduling surgery. A doctor who wants to use surgery to curb bad eating habits is either lying to you or to himself about his abilities.

I know people who had these 'newer' techniques with-o the therapy and proven commitment. They were promised a 'fix' and they are vastly worse off than ever before. Their bodies dump out food that doesn't fit their diet nearly immediately, regardless if a toilet is near. They cannot tolerate even medications they took for years because they don't have the nutrients to dissolve the medications or to absorb them. 2 on bipolar medications ended up spending months in the hospital dealing with psychosis due to their medications just not working. One of the ladies I am closer to ended up eating that tiny bit more and now is close to 100 lbs more than before surgery. The only weight loss she had lasted less than 5 mos.

Even with surgery, you still have to work for weight loss and want it too. Your child is not ready for it. I know she is heading for health problems, but those are hers to handle and face. You cannot fix this for her any more than a surgeon can. Going to a surgeon with-o her proving a long term commitment is a serious mistake and will harm her more than waiting until she sees that this is a problem that only hse can fix and she decides to fix it. I am so sorry.

overeating is a mental problem as well as a physical one and you have to fix the emotional problem before the physical one or you just create more problems.


Active Member
I've know four different people that have had the gastric bypass surgery. Not sure of which variety for each, but do know they have all lost weight, maintained their weight loss and are very happy with the results! I have read both negative and positive results.


Well-Known Member
I know two who have had it. Both were mentally stable adults, one in their 20s, the other somewhat older (40s I think). One is a relatively successful outcome, the other is back where they started, within about 15 years.

Knowing what these two went through in learning to eat less to make the surgery successful... there's no way a difficult child with major carb cravings is going to be a success story with this surgery.


Well-Known Member
I had gastric sleeve surgery 3 years ago. If your daughter can't follow a diet or exercise regimen now it is unlikely it will work.

My mother had the bypass yeArs ago and is back to being large. I have gained weigh since going back to work because it limits my gym time.


Well-Known Member
I knew a man at work who had it but his doctor put him off for several years before agreeing to do the surgery. The doctor wanted him to try several different diets and counseling before doing the surgery. Another man I worked with was HUGE (close to 600 lbs) and lost several hundred pounds after the surgery. But with the drastic weight loss came massive amounts of loose, excess skin that was removed surgically and healing from that, he said, was horrible. And I just recently met a lady who had (so far) lost 90 pounds since her surgery. But she had to be extremely careful of what she ate, how much she ate, and when she ate, or she would become violently ill. I also knew two people who had surgery but then gradually regained the weight. They both had the "stomach stapling" surgery that just makes it impossible to eat more than a small amount at a time. But apparently if you're not very careful, the remaining part of the stomach can stretch back out to the size it was and the weight piles back on. It's not an easy fix for anyone and it takes a great deal of maturity, sacrifice, and motivation to do it successfully.


Well-Known Member
Did you ever think about an IOP setting for her? I think that would be a place to start, she'd be surrounded by others with the same problems and they's spend many hours 3-4 times a week getting to the bottom of things. I had an eating disorder and went to a program for that. It was helpful...there was group therapy, art therapy, family therapy, individual therapy...the entire time.
I did meet a man while I was there who had weight loss surgery , he was a Superintendent in his school district, he never told anyone he did it, not even his parents. The weight fell off him and he was praised by all. At the time I met him he had suddenly started gaining it all back when they removed the lap band. Everyone was so disappointed in him and he was so depressed. He was in a bad way, it was sad. I had the opposite problem, it never goes away for me. I have really bad body dismorphia. Your daughter may have it in the opposite way that I do, let me tell you about a nanny who worked for my sister. She was so heavy....the same weight as your Difficult Child. She always wore half shirts...her whole stomach was out! Nothing was left to the imagination, you couldn't help but stare at her. Anytime a workman came over to the house this girl told my sister that the workman were hitting on her. Seriously every time. This girl always had a boyfriend, and they were normal size guys, plus she ate anything in the house. She didn't see herself as fat and she was happy. Who am I to judge her, she is happy , it's her life, Right?
Your Difficult Child doesn't live in your house. There is nothing you can do. Please don't constantly fault her weight, it makes it worse for her. Sugar free ice cream still has tons of calories, let it go, pick your battles, you're not helping her if you nag about weight.


Well-Known Member
My experience is the same as the others who have posted. I know three women who have had gastric surgery; one gastric bypass, one gastric sleeve, and one lap band.

All have lost weight quickly and kept it off. BUT, all are in their 40's to 50's and (to my knowledge) have no mental health issues.

Only the woman who had the lap band could eat "normally" right from the start. She simply ate less and made healthy choices and the band makes her feel satisfied. Even then, she told me that if she overate, she would throw up. So it was imperative that she be careful.

The one who had the gastric sleeve done is an internet friend, so I haven't seen her personally eating. From my research (I've considered it for myself as I am also very heavy and have a family history of cardiac problems and hypertension) there is little difference in the diets for gastric sleeve v. gastric bypass.

The third woman is my boss. She lost well over 100 lbs., starting at 390 or so and now is likely 160. She has a considerable apron of skin. Her doctor actually required her to lose 90 lbs on a liquid diet before the surgery! Then after she ate a lot of packaged supplements, powders that you mixed up into protein pudding substances, etc. Even now, years later, she is very careful about what she eats and she has regained some of the weight she lost. But, for example, she has to eat proteins first and make sure she gets enough of that in her diet. She cannot drink ANY carbonated beverage. She could not drink any alcohol for quite a while, but now can drink wine. While she's now able to go out and eat with friends, etc...she has to be careful and she watches her intake and what she eats.

in my opinion, unless your D C is willing and able to follow a strict diet, gastric bypass is not for her.


Well-Known Member
Thank you everyone. We VERY rarely mention her weight or mention what she eats. I only asked her to try the sugarless ice cream because it was unusually good. She from time to time, complains about her weight. But, she doesn't seem to either understand losing weight requires a commitment to eat less, avoid certain foods etc, or probably more likely, she isn't willing to do this. My main concern is that we know there is diabetes in her bio family and her overweight very likely also increases her chance to become a diabetic. Like I said, and many of you said, many get this surgery and continue to gain weight. I wish this was more of an issue for her...But it is not. Again, thank you for the insightful responses.


Well-Known Member
She does not sound like a good candidate for surgery at this time. My niece is very much like your daughter about her weight. When her boyfriend lost weight, and started looking good, she decided she better do something so that some other woman would not snatch him up.


Well-Known Member
You can overeat. I have a coworker who had t he surgery and she has to be very careful about eating and exercising. She looks fantastic, but has had a total lifestyle change. She told me that if you overeat, well, your weight will go back up again. You have to usually get a psychiatric evaluation before getting t he surgery.