Yesterday 35 year old daughter came over wanting to go to my Dr appointment with me. She moved her schedule at the spa so she could do this. She looks odd, her color is off, her weight is distributing different and she is a shell of who she use to be. We talk and I hear some sincere things come from her. She is in love with 1/2 boyfriend. I know people do the most stupid things ever when it comes to love..My husband has told our daughter that it is sad that she thinks that is all she can get, someone like her 1/2 ass boyfriend. After my Dr visit we go to the grocery store and I buy a nice meal for us to make. She loves organic cabbage so I make a huge pot of that. My daughter goes from crisis to crisis. I feel weak and want to go in and fix things, help her, move her out of her hell hole. I am ashamed at myself for enabling her when I just could not take the anguish of her situation. I have to back track and take back a few things that I said I may consider. I did not promise anything just 'things to think about' and my things to think about will just keep her stuck and me financially drained. I guess the best thing for me to do is not see her that often...I have to train myself to not help her. This is going against my nature to the core but I know deep inside it has to be done or I will continue to set up a *S* hole for myself and keep her stuck also when she becomes very ugly to me, I will kick myself in the butt for keeping her and me enabled. My husband is very good about moving ahead and he has distanced himself from her for a while. She gets on his last damn nerve. Right now I will have to lean on my husband to help me not enable but in reality her situation has gotten so bad that it is very hard for him to not enable her either, it has stressed him to the bone. Sink or swim will be my motto as I pound through this horrid nightmare. The change has to be with me because she is too lazy to change, I have to make the hard changes and live with it. Can I live with it? Can I sleep at night? These positive changes are easier to make when she is awful but when I see glimpses of her being nice it knocks me to the ground. I have done the sink or swim with her before when she was 28, it felt right and it had to be done. It needs to be done again but this time I am dragging my feet, I guess her and 1\2 boyfriend will have to find a way. Please God give me the strength to do what is fair and right.